A school teacher asked her students to make a sentence containing the expression I presume.

One little girl held up her hand and said: Yesterday my mother hand washed the dinner dishes and

I presumed that the dishwasher was broken.

Very good said the teacher.

Another one said: This morning, my father drove the Volkswagen out of the garage, I presume that

the BMW wouldnt start.

Thats excellent says the teacher.

Little Johnny at the back of the classroom gets up and says: Yesterday I saw grandpa leave

the house with a newspaper under his arm and headed for the bush, I presume that.......

The teacher interrupted him and said, I stopped you because you have no idea

what your grandfather was going to do, so you cant presume anything.

Johnny says, Please Teacher, let me finish my sentence. 

The teacher says, Very well. Continue.

As I was saying, I saw my grandpa heading for the bush with a newspaper under his arm.

I presume he was going for a **** because he cant read.