No front teeth and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into his local job centre to do his weekly sign on.

He strolled up to the counter and said:

"Hi there, you know what... I really HATE claiming benefits, I'd really much rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system and getting something for nothing."

The lady behind the counter said:

"Wow, your timing is excellent. We've just received a job opening from a very wealthy elderly man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his brand new Mercedes Benz CL, he'll supply all of your clothes and because of the unsocial hours, meals will be provided free of charge,

you'll also be expected to escort his daughter on her overseas holiday trips, but you will also have as part of your job, to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sexual appetite."

The guy, jaw dropping and wide-eyed said:

"You're bull-shi*tin' me !"

The social worker said....

Yeah, well you started it