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LSD..
(Preview)
A teenager approached his grandmother nervously and asked her a question.Granny, have you seen a bottle of pills lying around? The label says LSD, he asked.The grandmother swung around quickly as the boy prepared to be scolded.To hell with the pills! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!
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aussie_paul
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286
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Mrs. Donovan..
(Preview)
Mrs. Donovan was walking down OConnell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.The Father said, Top o the mornin To ye! Arent ye Mrs. Donovan And didnt I marry ye and yer Hoosband two years ago?She replied, Aye, that ye did, Father.The Father asked, And be there Any wee little ones yet?She...
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aussie_paul
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295
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Pootin
(Preview)
Putin is sitting on the backseat of his car, while the driver goes through rural russia. The driver hits something, and goes to check. "Vladimir Vladimirovich", the driver says. "We hit a farmers pig. It is dead." "So? Let's get going." "Sir, I will tell the farmers what has happened." "Well make it qu...
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Whenarewethere
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429
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Seagulls..
(Preview)
An old man at the end of a jetty was selling seagulls $2.50 for one, or three for five bucks.A curious tourist approached him and said, I'll take one, please, before handing over his money.The old man pocketed the money, pointed up to the sky and said: See that one there? That's your one.
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aussie_paul
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354
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Half price fare..
(Preview)
Half price fare.An airline introduced a half-price fare for women accompanying their husbands on business trips.Expecting valuable testimonials, the airline wrote to all of the wives whod used the special rate, asking them if they enjoyed their trip.Letters are still pouring in asking, What tr...
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aussie_paul
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333
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If you receive an email.
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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286
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My friend's wife..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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307
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While in China..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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411
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Oops..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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284
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AI has a long way to go
(Preview)
https://perchance.org/ai-photo-generator This is what I was served up when I asked for an image of an "Inuit girl riding a polar bear".
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dorian
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384
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A farmer..
(Preview)
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of...
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aussie_paul
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1
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505
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Two young boys..
(Preview)
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?''Eight', the boy replied.The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for?'The boy replied, 'Not exactly,...
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aussie_paul
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How’s your day going?
(Preview)
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rgren2
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331
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Hypnotist at a Senior Home
(Preview)
It was entertainment night at the Senior Citizens' Centre.After the community sing-along led by Alice at the piano, it was timeFor the star of the show - Burt the Hypnotist!Burt explained that he was going to put the whole audience into aTrance. "Yes, each and every one of you and all at the same time,"...
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Possum3
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Just saying.
(Preview)
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rgren2
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412
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If you’ve ever had..
(Preview)
If youve ever had an Indian taxi driver you'll love this one... A drunken, totally naked, woman jumped into a taxi at Park Beach Plaza in Coffs Harbour,Australia.The Indian driver shook his head, opened his eyes wide and stared at the woman.He made no attempt to start the cab. "What's wr...
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aussie_paul
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328
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They Served, They Fought
(Preview)
Found this today in my photo collection. Powerful words, wonder how many young people appreciate the message given.
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Southern Cruizer
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14
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1084
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Baby and the photographer
(Preview)
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photogr...
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Southern Cruizer
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341
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From work it out yourself or else to Kumbaya and mental illness..
(Preview)
I think this chronological progression of our education system is brilliantTeaching Maths from the 1950s to Today1. Teaching Maths in the 1950s ...A forester sells a lorryload of timber for $100His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.What is his profit? $____2 Teaching Maths in the 1970s ...A fo...
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aussie_paul
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1
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538
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A man walked into the ladies department,,,
(Preview)
A man walked into the ladies department,,,A man walks into the Ladies Department, and says " I want to buy a bra for my wife".The sales lady says "Sir, this is fine - what size is your wife?"He replied that she was very small - about as big as the other lady in the shop."And how big are her breasts?", asked th...
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aussie_paul
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