Just Joking

justcruisin01 · justcruisin01

JC.

Yarra · Yarra

Yesterday morning I bought two cases of beer on sale at the Beer Store.I placed them on the front seat and headed back home.I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jac...

kandagal · kandagal

There was an Englishman, A Scotsman & an Irishman who all wanted to attend the Olympic Games but had no money for a ticket. The Englishman had an idea & he picked up a long pole he saw lying on the ground, tucked it under his arm & walked up to the gate & said, "Gibson, England, pole v...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/racing/72356960/new-zealand-racing-commentator-takes-pop-at-wallabies-while-calling-race

Possum3 · Possum3

A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat, agreed to look after her neighbour's male dog while the neighbour was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. ... However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds...

spida · spida

What I Want In A Man! Original List: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car d...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal, you've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normal...

rockylizard · rockylizard

-- Edited by rockylizard on Wednesday 23rd of September 2015 11:26:41 AM

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Yarra · Yarra

Winner of Chicago Tribune's best tweet of the week:"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby."

Spydermann · Spydermann

Did I read that sign right? . . . (An oldie but a goodie.)TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She re...

Aus-Kiwi · Aus-Kiwi

Naughty but ok ? Aha -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:14:50 PM -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:16:31 PM

Yendorane · Yendorane

80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant? Bessie thinks a minute and says, &...

June · June

I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18 year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're a...

Yarra · Yarra

A successful farmer died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, butknew very little about farming, so she decided to place an ad in thenewspaper for a farm hand. Two farm hands applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk....

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Dad and Dave was a bit of a skit on the radio back in the 1940s & 50s. It used to be on most evenings, and was about the life and adventures of a Victorian outback farmer and his son. Dave started out as a little boy, and grew into a big boy, and when he was about 18 he married Mable. The story goes like this. J...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that m...

Possum3 · Possum3

http://www.unsealed4x4.com.au/issue015/?utm_source=ActiveCampaign&utm_medium=email&utm_content=10+Things+I+Learned+Crossing+The+Madigan+Line&utm_campaign=Unsealed+Issue+015+-+Send+003#181

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	THERE AR TIMES WHEN> (Preview) JC.	justcruisin01	2	1096	08:15 PM Sep 28, 2015 by justcruisin01
	The Barter System (Preview) Yesterday morning I bought two cases of beer on sale at the Beer Store.I placed them on the front seat and headed back home.I stopped at a service station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde was filling up her car at the next pump.Although it was very cold she was wearing a very short skirt and a light jac...	Yarra	1	1083	05:38 AM Sep 28, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Free Entry (Preview) There was an Englishman, A Scotsman & an Irishman who all wanted to attend the Olympic Games but had no money for a ticket. The Englishman had an idea & he picked up a long pole he saw lying on the ground, tucked it under his arm & walked up to the gate & said, "Gibson, England, pole v...	kandagal	0	1291	04:16 AM Sep 25, 2015 by kandagal
	What do you do in a 4 horse race ? Tell a joke .. Good ole NZ - Aussie banter .. (Preview) http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/racing/72356960/new-zealand-racing-commentator-takes-pop-at-wallabies-while-calling-race	Aus-Kiwi	0	884	09:52 PM Sep 24, 2015 by Aus-Kiwi
	A telephone call to the vet. (Preview) A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat, agreed to look after her neighbour's male dog while the neighbour was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. ... However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds...	Possum3	0	923	07:46 AM Sep 24, 2015 by Possum3
	What I want in a man (Preview) What I Want In A Man! Original List: 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car d...	spida	1	1056	01:38 AM Sep 24, 2015 by Young Simmo
	The winking problem.... (Preview) A man with a winking problem is applying for a position as a sales representative for a large firm. The interviewer looks over his papers and says, "This is phenomenal, you've graduated from the best schools, your recommendations are wonderful, and your experience is unparalleled. Normal...	Goldfinger	2	879	03:00 PM Sep 23, 2015 by iana
	Sheepish (Preview) -- Edited by rockylizard on Wednesday 23rd of September 2015 11:26:41 AM	rockylizard	0	939	08:17 AM Sep 23, 2015 by rockylizard
	Complete or finished what's the difference (Preview)	Woody n Sue	2	963	12:48 PM Sep 22, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Tweet of the week (Preview) Winner of Chicago Tribune's best tweet of the week:"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it just changes the colour of the baby."	Yarra	0	984	11:03 AM Sep 19, 2015 by Yarra
	Did I read it right (Preview) Did I read that sign right? . . . (An oldie but a goodie.)TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK...	Spydermann	0	1276	11:38 AM Sep 17, 2015 by Spydermann
	A few quickies by a 75 year old, sorry I meant 7.5 years. (Preview) You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old because you stop laughing. Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me.' 'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented. She re...	Young Simmo	0	1071	11:53 PM Sep 16, 2015 by Young Simmo
	I guess this says it .. Bad moon rising .. Aha (Preview) Naughty but ok ? Aha -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:14:50 PM -- Edited by Aus-Kiwi on Saturday 12th of September 2015 10:16:31 PM	Aus-Kiwi	1	919	06:36 PM Sep 16, 2015 by Gunsondeck
	DOWN AT THE RETIREMENT CENTER (Preview) 80-year old Bessie bursts into the rec room at the retirement home. She holds her clenched fist in the air and announces, "Anyone who can guess what's in my hand can have sex with me tonight!!" An elderly gentleman in the rear shouts out, "An elephant? Bessie thinks a minute and says, &...	Yendorane	0	911	05:06 PM Sep 16, 2015 by Yendorane
	Drafting Guys Over 60........ (Preview) I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18 year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're a...	June	2	1157	12:30 PM Sep 16, 2015 by aussie_paul
	The Gay Farm Hand (Preview) A successful farmer died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, butknew very little about farming, so she decided to place an ad in thenewspaper for a farm hand. Two farm hands applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk....	Yarra	2	1788	08:33 AM Sep 15, 2015 by Ondabeach
	Dad and Dave (Preview) Dad and Dave was a bit of a skit on the radio back in the 1940s & 50s. It used to be on most evenings, and was about the life and adventures of a Victorian outback farmer and his son. Dave started out as a little boy, and grew into a big boy, and when he was about 18 he married Mable. The story goes like this. J...	Young Simmo	0	1146	11:02 PM Sep 14, 2015 by Young Simmo
	A conversation in HEAVEN (Preview) SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that m...	Young Simmo	0	900	10:58 PM Sep 14, 2015 by Young Simmo
	Russel Coit (Preview) http://www.unsealed4x4.com.au/issue015/?utm_source=ActiveCampaign&utm_medium=email&utm_content=10+Things+I+Learned+Crossing+The+Madigan+Line&utm_campaign=Unsealed+Issue+015+-+Send+003#181	Possum3	0	1079	05:52 PM Sep 14, 2015 by Possum3
	This trike runs on natural gas (Preview)	Woody n Sue	2	798	10:31 PM Sep 13, 2015 by aussie_paul
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