Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Terrorism, High Alert Causing Me Problems After hearing the news about possible terrorism attack and a high security alert I was a little nervous, so when I was at the checkout and ready to pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note so I could comp...

Brenda and Alan · Brenda and Alan

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began.The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beat...

erad · erad

A man went to a new zoo. There was only one animal there - a dog. It was a sh1tzu. -- Edited by erad on Tuesday 1st of December 2015 08:51:58 PM

Tomcat · Tomcat

What did the solar panels say when the sun came out from the clouds.....Array.

Tomcat · Tomcat

So there was this old couple who agreed to write things down to remember because the they were losing their memories and starting to argue a bit. The husband said to the wife would you like a snack my dear to which she replied yes please i would like some strawberries. He said coming right up but before he g...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Frank and Fiona were making passionate > love in Frank's van when suddenly > Fiona, who was a bit on the kinky > side, and had just read "50 shades of > grey", yells out, > > "Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!" > > Frank, not wanting to pass up this > unique op...

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

banditandjo · banditandjo

The Middle Wife The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few s...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

I was emptying my car boot and a bloke walking past asked me what the bottle of water was for. So I explained to him that one day when we were out at Alice Springs we went for a drive out to a sacred site. We got talking to one of the locals who said that the well there was the dead center of Australia, and if you ti...

kiwijims · kiwijims

A small boy has a school home work question to answer, so he asks his father , "Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His dad thinks and then says, "Right-o son, go and ask your Mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a million quid." The...

erad · erad

Q: WHat's black and blue all over, and found floating in Dublin Harbour? A: A person who tells Irish jokes

sheeds · sheeds

With the utmost respect for the Irish and the Kiwis, I still enjoy a joke about them,even the old ones which you may have heard being told. (I wonder when jokes about the Irish and Kiwis started?) Two jokes below unfairly slamdunk the Kiwis!Barry the Aussie builder was going through a house he had just b...

Cadpete · Cadpete

Love this Japanese Doctor! Dr. Yu Tok Kak Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you ext...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Scotsman walks into the Bank of England in Threadneedle Street, Central London and asks for the manager. He tells the manager that he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so Hamish h...

Yarra · Yarra

I'm selling my pet Python on the Internet. A bloke just rang up and asked if it was big. I said, "It's massive." He said, How many feet?" I said none you idiot!."It's a f******g Snake"!!..

Hendo · Hendo

A guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Just before he takes a sip of his whiskey, a guy runs in and says, "Bill, your house burnt down!" So he runs outside, but then he thinks, "I don't have a house," so he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of his whiskey. Another guy runs in and...

Lesley F · Lesley F

I hope you laugh as much as I do!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9zXXLUkiTs

Lesley F · Lesley F

I've posted this previously, but it's a good laugh - this guy is "cute" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-3cuCEt9k8

Hendo · Hendo

Amazing word lessonThis is the best, most Interesting English lesson I have had to date.Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?Do you know that the word "racecar" spelled backwards still spells "racecar"?And that "eat"...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Terrorism, High Alert Causing Me Problems (Preview) Terrorism, High Alert Causing Me Problems After hearing the news about possible terrorism attack and a high security alert I was a little nervous, so when I was at the checkout and ready to pay for my groceries the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note so I could comp...	aussie_paul	1	1084	07:05 PM Dec 9, 2015 by Young Simmo
	How to outsmart teenagers (Preview) A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began.The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beat...	Brenda and Alan	0	905	11:56 AM Dec 9, 2015 by Brenda and Alan
	Zoo (Preview) A man went to a new zoo. There was only one animal there - a dog. It was a sh1tzu. -- Edited by erad on Tuesday 1st of December 2015 08:51:58 PM	erad	3	1108	01:14 AM Dec 9, 2015 by SLUG
	Happy solar panels (Preview) What did the solar panels say when the sun came out from the clouds.....Array.	Tomcat	0	762	12:53 AM Dec 9, 2015 by Tomcat
	Old couple getting mixed up (Preview) So there was this old couple who agreed to write things down to remember because the they were losing their memories and starting to argue a bit. The husband said to the wife would you like a snack my dear to which she replied yes please i would like some strawberries. He said coming right up but before he g...	Tomcat	0	885	12:46 AM Dec 9, 2015 by Tomcat
	Be Careful (Preview) Frank and Fiona were making passionate > love in Frank's van when suddenly > Fiona, who was a bit on the kinky > side, and had just read "50 shades of > grey", yells out, > > "Oh fat boy, whip me, whip me!" > > Frank, not wanting to pass up this > unique op...	Young Simmo	0	782	11:34 PM Dec 8, 2015 by Young Simmo
	Love it!!! (Preview)	Gunsondeck	0	821	07:18 PM Dec 8, 2015 by Gunsondeck
	the middle wife (Preview) The Middle Wife The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few s...	banditandjo	0	1050	02:12 AM Dec 6, 2015 by banditandjo
	Not sure (Preview) I was emptying my car boot and a bloke walking past asked me what the bottle of water was for. So I explained to him that one day when we were out at Alice Springs we went for a drive out to a sacred site. We got talking to one of the locals who said that the well there was the dead center of Australia, and if you ti...	Young Simmo	0	887	02:43 PM Dec 5, 2015 by Young Simmo
	WHO NEEDS A DICTIONARY WHEN YOU HAVE DADS (Preview) A small boy has a school home work question to answer, so he asks his father , "Dad, what's the difference between 'theoretically' and 'realistically'?" His dad thinks and then says, "Right-o son, go and ask your Mother if she'd sleep with David Beckham for a million quid." The...	kiwijims	0	969	04:05 AM Dec 5, 2015 by kiwijims
	Irish Joke (Preview) Q: WHat's black and blue all over, and found floating in Dublin Harbour? A: A person who tells Irish jokes	erad	0	886	10:10 PM Dec 4, 2015 by erad
	How to keep a Kiwi happy? (Preview) With the utmost respect for the Irish and the Kiwis, I still enjoy a joke about them,even the old ones which you may have heard being told. (I wonder when jokes about the Irish and Kiwis started?) Two jokes below unfairly slamdunk the Kiwis!*Barry the Aussie builder was going through a house he had just b...*	sheeds	1	1305	06:03 PM Dec 4, 2015 by JCT
	Health information (Preview) Love this Japanese Doctor! Dr. Yu Tok Kak Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you ext...	Cadpete	1	1197	05:49 PM Dec 4, 2015 by Felicia
	Ya Gotta love the Irish (Preview) A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, 'I almost had an affair with another woman.' The priest said, 'What do you mean, almost?' The Irishman said, 'Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.' The priest said, 'Rubbing together is the same as...	Young Simmo	1	925	10:39 AM Dec 4, 2015 by sheeds
	Bank Loan to a Scotsman (Preview) A Scotsman walks into the Bank of England in Threadneedle Street, Central London and asks for the manager. He tells the manager that he is going to Australia on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5,000. The manager tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so Hamish h...	aussie_paul	2	953	10:34 AM Dec 4, 2015 by sheeds
	Python (Preview) I'm selling my pet Python on the Internet. A bloke just rang up and asked if it was big. I said, "It's massive." He said, How many feet?" I said none you idiot!."It's a f******g Snake"!!..	Yarra	1	911	08:08 PM Dec 3, 2015 by rockylizard
	Bill (Preview) A guy walks into a bar and orders a whiskey. Just before he takes a sip of his whiskey, a guy runs in and says, "Bill, your house burnt down!" So he runs outside, but then he thinks, "I don't have a house," so he goes back into the bar and takes a sip of his whiskey. Another guy runs in and...	Hendo	0	1078	04:59 PM Dec 3, 2015 by Hendo
	Mrs Brown rehearses for the Virgin Mary (Preview) I hope you laugh as much as I do!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o9zXXLUkiTs	Lesley F	1	990	04:36 PM Dec 3, 2015 by Felicia
	Gay referee at a soccer match (Preview) I've posted this previously, but it's a good laugh - this guy is "cute" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i-3cuCEt9k8	Lesley F	0	925	08:34 PM Dec 2, 2015 by Lesley F
	English Lesson (Preview) Amazing word lessonThis is the best, most Interesting English lesson I have had to date.Did you know "listen" and "silent" use the same letters?Do you know that the word "racecar" spelled backwards still spells "racecar"?And that "eat"...	Hendo	5	1276	06:37 PM Dec 2, 2015 by Plain Truth
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