Just Joking

Redlander · Redlander

Gotta love us seniors During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."...

Joe50 · Joe50

I love this new word ... I even like pronouncing it!

Collo · Collo

A man wakes up in hospital bandaged from head to toe. The doctor comes in "Ah I see you have woken up. Now you wont remember but you were in a horrible car accident. You are going to be O.K but your penis was severed and we couldn't find it." The man groans but the doctor goes on."You have $90...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

This letter was sent to the Broken Hill High School Principal's office in Broken Hill, outback Australia after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit t...

Yendorane · Yendorane

A woman received a call that her daughter was sick. She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. She woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her h...

Vic41 · Vic41

DIVORCE VS. MURDER A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The pha...

Vic41 · Vic41

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Two old blokes were on a tractor they drove across the paddock and without looking continued straight out onto the highway. A young man in a Porsche was doing about 200 Kmh down the highway he came around the bend and saw the tractor , swerved left to miss it, crashed through the paddock fence did a Hugh ci...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

It was the final round of the $64,000 quiz and only three constants were left an Englishman, a Texan and an Australian. the question is , finish this song Title and spell the answer " Old McDonald had a ??? the Englishman goes first and says " Estate "" E-S-T-A-T-E" sorry wro...

robmac · robmac

A blonde read in a magazine that 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. ......."There are 5 people in my family," she said to herself. "I wonder which one of them it is.?..it could be my mum or dad.....or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Chi--Lim....but I'm pretty...

Vic41 · Vic41

The bar patrons were so sure that their bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many p...

Yendorane · Yendorane

Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees...

robmac · robmac

The Doctor used to drop into his "club"most nights to have his favorite ****tail, an almond daquiri....... One night Dick the bartender found he was out of almonds, so he added some crushed hickory nuts instead The doctor took one sip and beckoned to the barman. "Is this an almon...

Yendorane · Yendorane

A man is sun baking in the nude and ends up burning his willy. His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a cup of cold milk. Later, his blonde girlfriend comes home and finds him with his willy in a cup of cold milk. 'Good heavens', she remarks, 'I always wondered how you guys re-loaded those thin...

Vic41 · Vic41

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy...

Vic41 · Vic41

http://www.mprnews.org/story/2010/04/06/wits-Sweeney

Yendorane · Yendorane

Telephone rings, woman answers. Pervert, breathing heavily, says, "I bet you have a tight ar#e with no hair?" Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby.... Who shall I say is calling?"

Yendorane · Yendorane

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?&q...

Peterpan · Peterpan

There was a competition to swim the English C hannel doing only the breast stroke. The three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. After around 14 hours the brunette staggered ashore and was declared the winner. About 40 minutes later the redhead crawled up onto the shore...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Are U Ready for the Old Age Home (Preview) Gotta love us seniors During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?" "Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."...	Redlander	5	1228	08:11 PM Aug 12, 2014 by roadtourer
	New word for seniors (Preview) I love this new word ... I even like pronouncing it!	Joe50	1	829	07:54 PM Aug 12, 2014 by pugs
	Oh No!! (Preview) A man wakes up in hospital bandaged from head to toe. The doctor comes in "Ah I see you have woken up. Now you wont remember but you were in a horrible car accident. You are going to be O.K but your penis was severed and we couldn't find it." The man groans but the doctor goes on."You have $90...	Collo	3	922	12:33 PM Aug 12, 2014 by Kisha
	Would this be a job for a grey nomad (Preview)	Woody n Sue	1	875	10:14 PM Aug 11, 2014 by Vic41
	A touching moment... (Preview) This letter was sent to the Broken Hill High School Principal's office in Broken Hill, outback Australia after the school had sponsored a luncheon for seniors. An elderly lady received a new radio at the lunch as a door raffle prize and was writing to say thank you. This story is a credit t...	Gunsondeck	0	1079	06:34 PM Aug 8, 2014 by Gunsondeck
	GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR (Preview) A woman received a call that her daughter was sick. She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys inside. She woman found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her h...	Yendorane	0	864	08:28 AM Aug 8, 2014 by Yendorane
	Divorce vs Murder (oldie but a goodie) (Preview) DIVORCE VS. MURDER A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The pha...	Vic41	0	796	04:33 PM Aug 7, 2014 by Vic41
	Rolf...... (Preview)	Vic41	3	830	07:14 AM Aug 6, 2014 by Glenelg
	Lucky to miss the accident (Preview) Two old blokes were on a tractor they drove across the paddock and without looking continued straight out onto the highway. A young man in a Porsche was doing about 200 Kmh down the highway he came around the bend and saw the tractor , swerved left to miss it, crashed through the paddock fence did a Hugh ci...	Woody n Sue	0	772	10:14 PM Aug 5, 2014 by Woody n Sue
	$64,000 question (Preview) It was the final round of the $64,000 quiz and only three constants were left an Englishman, a Texan and an Australian. the question is , finish this song Title and spell the answer " Old McDonald had a ??? the Englishman goes first and says " Estate "" E-S-T-A-T-E" sorry wro...	Woody n Sue	1	734	11:10 AM Aug 5, 2014 by Bryan
	Blondes (Preview) A blonde read in a magazine that 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. ......."There are 5 people in my family," she said to herself. "I wonder which one of them it is.?..it could be my mum or dad.....or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Chi--Lim....but I'm pretty...	robmac	0	905	10:59 PM Aug 4, 2014 by robmac
	The Squeezer (Preview) The bar patrons were so sure that their bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many p...	Vic41	2	822	10:20 PM Aug 4, 2014 by Vic41
	Walking into the bar (Preview) Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie, "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "She came to me on her hands and knees...	Yendorane	3	836	11:14 AM Aug 4, 2014 by JRH
	Misunderstandings (Preview) The Doctor used to drop into his "club"most nights to have his favorite ****tail, an almond daquiri....... One night Dick the bartender found he was out of almonds, so he added some crushed hickory nuts instead The doctor took one sip and beckoned to the barman. "Is this an almon...	robmac	1	760	08:47 AM Aug 4, 2014 by Bryan
	sunbather (Preview) A man is sun baking in the nude and ends up burning his willy. His doctor tells him to ease the pain by dipping it in a cup of cold milk. Later, his blonde girlfriend comes home and finds him with his willy in a cup of cold milk. 'Good heavens', she remarks, 'I always wondered how you guys re-loaded those thin...	Yendorane	0	751	08:31 AM Aug 4, 2014 by Yendorane
	Feck Dat ! (Preview) Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle, they walk over to the bird section and Gerry says to Paddy, 'Dat's dem.' The owner comes over and asks if he can help them. 'Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,' says Gerry.. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy...	Vic41	0	900	02:29 PM Aug 2, 2014 by Vic41
	Explaining Sex To An 8 Year Old....(Video - Sound On). (Preview) http://www.mprnews.org/story/2010/04/06/wits-Sweeney	Vic41	4	1105	11:55 AM Aug 1, 2014 by Glenelg
	Pervert Call (Preview) Telephone rings, woman answers. Pervert, breathing heavily, says, "I bet you have a tight ar#e with no hair?" Woman replies, "Yes, I have. He's watching the rugby.... Who shall I say is calling?"	Yendorane	1	894	11:40 AM Aug 1, 2014 by Glenelg
	Father Murphy (Preview) Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do, Father." The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall." Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to go to heaven?&q...	Yendorane	1	953	04:42 AM Jul 31, 2014 by Bryan
	Swimming (Preview) There was a competition to swim the English C hannel doing only the breast stroke. The three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. After around 14 hours the brunette staggered ashore and was declared the winner. About 40 minutes later the redhead crawled up onto the shore...	Peterpan	0	765	05:25 PM Jul 30, 2014 by Peterpan
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