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Cop
(Preview)
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rockylizard
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0
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644
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The Old Bloke
(Preview)
An old bloke living in north Queensland owned a bit of a farm on which was a large pond. It wasn't a bad swimming hole so he planted a couple of fruit trees around it and put in a picnic table. One hot afternoon he decided to go down for a swim and pick some fuit while he was there. Off he went with his five-gallo...
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Hendo
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1
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932
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The Magician and The Parrot...
(Preview)
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the Magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shoutin...
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Vic41
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0
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733
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Government Poll
(Preview)
The latest poll taken by the Federal Government asked whether people who live in Australia think that illegal immigration is a serious problem. 29% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem" 71% of respondents answered: "Mafi mushkila shukran"
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Hendo
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1
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763
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Pommie in WA
(Preview)
DIARY OF A POMMIE IN WESTERN AUSTRALIA August 31 Just got transferred with work from Leeds UK to our new home in Karratha , Western Australia . Now this is a town that knows how to live! Beautiful, sunny days and warm, balmy evenings. I watched the sunset from a deckchair by our pool yesterday. It was beau...
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Hendo
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4
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1243
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Mexitorians
(Preview)
Four old retired blokes are walking down a street in Maroochydore. They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timer's Bar - all drinks 10 cents! They look at each other, and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, 'Co...
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Spook
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0
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681
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Government survey
(Preview)
Back in the days when I wore pusser's crabs (service issue boots). The skipper lined us up on the quarter deck and told us he had a survey from comand. It's only one question so it won't take long. Swain he says to me when did you last have sex? About 2 weeks ago on leave sir says I. Buffer when did you last hav...
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navynurse
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0
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659
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Irish Text Message
(Preview)
IRISH TEXT MESSAGE: Paddy texts his wife: Mary, I'm just having one more pint with the lads. If I'm not home in 20 minutes, read this message again.
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Vic41
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0
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798
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The Wife...
(Preview)
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get Reincarnated but mustcome back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said: "You obviously haven't beenlistening." ----------------------------------------------------------------...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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674
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Neighbours-
(Preview)
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Gunsondeck
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0
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682
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keeping track of the trip
(Preview)
I was wondering how everyone keeps track of their trips ie:- Photos, places visited, camps, good petrol prices, expenses, ect Do you used online resources, exercise books, PC's or apps We are about to head off in a few weeks for our first trip. We starting to get a tad excited Jen Sorry this has gone in...
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Jenzarl
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6
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839
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the soldier
(Preview)
Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, A passing soldier assures her that he can help.She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, .....Rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door.Magically it opens......."That's so clever," the woman gasp...
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sarg
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1
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748
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Wife finding...
(Preview)
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" she asks. "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere....
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rockylizard
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0
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691
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Happy & Sad
(Preview)
A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology and mixed emotions when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap; I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time." She said, "You have the biggest p*nis of all you...
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Hendo
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0
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707
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Letter to God
(Preview)
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow,...
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Hendo
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4
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1534
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The real Clinton story
(Preview)
Some years ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook fell ill, and they had to get a replacement on short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby-looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his Chief of Staff but was...
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Gunsondeck
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0
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735
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New Victa
(Preview)
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Gunsondeck
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0
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682
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The Boss
(Preview)
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read: "I'm the Boss!" He then attached it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that som...
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rockylizard
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0
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669
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Poof ! The Light Goes On & Off !
(Preview)
A 72-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back normal so the doctor says, "Harry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?" Harry replies, "God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so tha...
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Vic41
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0
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682
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Dear God
(Preview)
There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. The letter read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old wido...
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Vic41
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0
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640
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