Just Joking

Roostertales · Roostertales

Why is it ok to say I pricked my finger but not ok to say I fingered my p****

The Gnome · The Gnome

No.1 Italian Garden An old Italianman lived alone in the country.He wanted to dig his tomato garden,but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.His only son,Vincent, who used to help him,was in prison.The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincent, I am feeling...

Road Ranger · Road Ranger

Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?' Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear?' She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, 'Et...

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed.. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in...

mike and Judy · mike and Judy

An escaped prisoner has been arrested in the US after guards caught him trying to sneak back into the jail. Harry Jackson, 25, was spotted trying to slip back into the prison with 14 packs of cigarettes allegedly stolen from a nearby shop, authorities said. Sheriff Tommy Gregory said Jackson had open...

dave06 · dave06

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.' No sooner were the...

mike and Judy · mike and Judy

Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today! A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fe...

drongo & wendy · drongo & wendy

A Lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated with her hubbys lack of sex interest. She wondered about ways to add some pizzaz to the relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crochless underwear she had seen in a lingerie shop. One evening when she was fee...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

The outgoing message: Hello ! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection: To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1 To make excuses for why your child d...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Things Got Ya Down?Well Then, Consider These . . . In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY..... and we are sticking with it !! After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets Are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything i...

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally the guys' side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good. We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men...

Roostertales · Roostertales

Neil ArmstrongON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON. HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, 'THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND,' WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS. BUT JUST BEFOR...

Roostertales · Roostertales

Subject: First Date If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date th...

dave06 · dave06

name the song that would go with this picture

Road Ranger · Road Ranger

Never Argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and reads her book. Along comes a 'Game Warden' in his boat. He pulls up al...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

The Medical Profession Speaks out on the Financial Bail-Out Package The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the...

dave06 · dave06

a young blonde woman on a flight to darwin in second class suddenly got up out of her seat and walked to first class and promptly sat down upon seeing this the stewardess chased her up and said "madam would you kindly revert to your allocated seat" to which the girl said "I'm blonde and I'...

dave06 · dave06

a man walks into a pub, sits down and orders a beer, notices another young feller up the other end of the bar rolling something around in his fingers saying to himself "looks like plastic, fells like rubber" man goes back to having his beer trying to ignore this young feller with whatever it...

Xtrail51 · Xtrail51

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food an...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Old language take (Preview) Why is it ok to say I pricked my finger but not ok to say I fingered my p****	Roostertales	0	812	07:34 PM Mar 19, 2009 by Roostertales
	Stupid questions,stupid answers (Preview) No.1 Italian Garden An old Italianman lived alone in the country.He wanted to dig his tomato garden,but it was very hard work as the ground was hard.His only son,Vincent, who used to help him,was in prison.The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincent, I am feeling...	The Gnome	0	843	05:12 PM Mar 19, 2009 by The Gnome
	Don't laugh at these sick jokes! sniger, Giggle. (Preview) Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mabel's ear and she said, ''Mabel, do you know you've got a suppository in your left ear?' Mabel answered, 'I have a suppository in my ear?' She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, 'Et...	Road Ranger	0	846	02:13 PM Mar 19, 2009 by Road Ranger
	BIRD FEEDER (Preview) I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed.. What a beauty of a bird feeder it was, as I filled it lovingly with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in...	sgntbilko	1	994	01:23 PM Mar 18, 2009 by JRH
	the good life (Preview) An escaped prisoner has been arrested in the US after guards caught him trying to sneak back into the jail. Harry Jackson, 25, was spotted trying to slip back into the prison with 14 packs of cigarettes allegedly stolen from a nearby shop, authorities said. Sheriff Tommy Gregory said Jackson had open...	mike and Judy	0	742	07:40 AM Mar 18, 2009 by mike and Judy
	dont mess with us!!!! (Preview) Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up. One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling.' No sooner were the...	dave06	0	845	10:09 AM Mar 17, 2009 by dave06
	Note to self: 'Cancel credit cards prior to death! (Preview) Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die! This is so priceless and so easy to see happening - customer service, being what it is today! A lady died this past January, and ANZ bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added late fe...	mike and Judy	0	848	01:05 AM Mar 17, 2009 by mike and Judy
	a little naughty (Preview) A Lady who had been married for several years was growing more and more frustrated with her hubbys lack of sex interest. She wondered about ways to add some pizzaz to the relationship, and finally decided to purchase some crochless underwear she had seen in a lingerie shop. One evening when she was fee...	drongo & wendy	3	1249	07:29 PM Mar 16, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Automation (Preview) The outgoing message: Hello ! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection: To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1 To make excuses for why your child d...	Wombat 280	1	797	04:49 PM Mar 16, 2009 by sgntbilko
	Having A Bad Day (Preview) Things Got Ya Down?Well Then, Consider These . . . In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to do with the supernatural. No one...	Wombat 280	1	981	10:12 AM Mar 16, 2009 by dave06
	Eve's Story As told By Eve (Preview) EVE'S SIDE OF THE STORY..... and we are sticking with it !! After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God. 'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets Are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything i...	Wombat 280	0	1057	09:20 AM Mar 16, 2009 by Wombat 280
	MAN RULES (Preview) Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally the guys' side of the story. I must admit, it's pretty good. We always hear the rules from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note.. these are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men...	sgntbilko	0	946	08:41 AM Mar 16, 2009 by sgntbilko
	True story apparently (Preview) Neil ArmstrongON JULY 20, 1969, AS COMMANDER OF THE APOLLO 11 LUNAR MODULE, NEIL ARMSTRONG WAS THE FIRST PERSON TO SET FOOT ON THE MOON. HIS FIRST WORDS AFTER STEPPING ON THE MOON, 'THAT'S ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN, ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MANKIND,' WERE TELEVISED TO EARTH AND HEARD BY MILLIONS. BUT JUST BEFOR...	Roostertales	1	976	04:14 PM Mar 15, 2009 by SWABy Commander
	worst first date ever (Preview) Subject: First Date If you didn't see this on the Tonight show, I hope you're sitting down when you read it. This is probably the funniest date story ever, first date or not!!! We have all had bad dates but this takes the cake. Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date th...	Roostertales	1	1243	01:01 PM Mar 14, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	ok heres one for you (Preview) name the song that would go with this picture	dave06	5	926	10:02 AM Mar 14, 2009 by dave06
	Don't do it. (Preview) Never Argue with a Woman One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and reads her book. Along comes a 'Game Warden' in his boat. He pulls up al...	Road Ranger	2	1075	09:40 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	Medical Proffession Speaks Out (Preview) The Medical Profession Speaks out on the Financial Bail-Out Package The allergists voted to scratch it, and the dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the neurologists thought the administration had a lot of nerve, and the...	Wombat 280	3	1176	09:38 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	young and blonde (Preview) a young blonde woman on a flight to darwin in second class suddenly got up out of her seat and walked to first class and promptly sat down upon seeing this the stewardess chased her up and said "madam would you kindly revert to your allocated seat" to which the girl said "I'm blonde and I'...	dave06	1	808	09:36 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	a little on the nose (Preview) a man walks into a pub, sits down and orders a beer, notices another young feller up the other end of the bar rolling something around in his fingers saying to himself "looks like plastic, fells like rubber" man goes back to having his beer trying to ignore this young feller with whatever it...	dave06	1	1102	09:34 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
	For all dog owners........... (Preview) The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door. Dear Dogs and Cats: The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food an...	Xtrail51	2	1288	09:32 AM Mar 14, 2009 by Roostertales
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