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Asylum
(Preview)
Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of : 'ASYLUM'. Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting competition: Hop on a boat And win A FREE HOUSE! We've already given away hundreds of millions of dollars and thousands of dream homes, courtesy of our sponsor, The Austral...
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twobob
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4
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1163
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He Said To Me!
(Preview)
He Said To Me! He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it I said to him . ... . You wear pants don't you? He said to me . . ........ Shall we try swapping positions tonight? I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but...
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TRUE BLUE AUSIE
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0
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674
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Alcohol Labels Just Like Cigarettes
(Preview)
Liquor manufacturers have accepted the Government's Suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all Varieties of alcohol containers: ~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the he...
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jimricho
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2
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1064
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Alladin's Lamp
(Preview)
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jimricho
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1
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1126
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Rye Bread
(Preview)
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said "Well, I eat rye b...
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twobob
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1
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684
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I'm Broke
(Preview)
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.' 'Go awa...
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Firefly
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0
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869
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THE AFTER LIFE
(Preview)
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would
come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their
biggest fear was that there was no afterlife.
After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and
true to his word he made contact.
Mary. Mary.
Is that you, Fred?
Yes, Ive come back lik...
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Cruising Granny
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0
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742
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past it
(Preview)
I think you know when your getting old. I was watching porn the other night and found myself thinking " that bloody bed looks comfy "
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twobob
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0
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811
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grumpy
(Preview)
The seven dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are the seven dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads the pack. 'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?' Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome ?' The Pope wrinkles his...
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twobob
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1
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888
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Two Little Old Ladies
(Preview)
Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall Where a flower show was in progress. The thin one leaned over and said, 'Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!' 'You're on!' said the o...
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Firefly
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0
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941
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How To Stay Awake At Meetings
(Preview)
How To Stay Awake At Meetings This may help all you hard workers, dogged by meetings and seminars..........How to stay awake at meetings Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars? What about those long and boring conference calls? Here's a way to change all of that. 1. Before (or during) you...
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jimricho
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0
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1754
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More Airline Stuff
(Preview)
P = The problem logged by the pilot. S = The solution logged by the mechanic. P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid....
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Disco Duck
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0
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799
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Xmas Lights, (my house on the right)
(Preview)
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Firefly
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2
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928
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North West Airlines Pilot's Guide to the Flight Deck
(Preview)
(News Item: NW Airlines flight overflies destination by more than 100 n. miles.)
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jimricho
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1
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842
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Exchanges Between Pilots and Control Towers.
(Preview)
.hmmessage P {
PADDING-BOTTOM: 0px; MARGIN: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 0px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-TOP: 0px
}
BODY.hmmessage {
FONT-FAMILY: Verdana; FONT-SIZE: 10pt
}
Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" Delta 351: "Give us another hint! We have...
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Firefly
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1
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3055
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Al-Gebra
(Preview)
Implements of Math Destruction At New York's Kennedy airport today an individual, later discovered to be a public school teacher, was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a square, a slide rule, and a calculator. The Attorney General believes the man is a me...
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Disco Duck
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0
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719
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Butt dust!!!
(Preview)
What, you ask, is 'Butt dust'? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine. No adult is this creative!! JACK (age 3) was watching his Mom breast-feeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked: 'Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?' MELANI...
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Basil Faulty
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1
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891
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Another blonde at work
(Preview)
Leaving Work Early Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day, they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they we...
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clazandaza
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0
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648
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Age Calculator
(Preview)
A little working for the brain -Simple to see how it's done really!!Don't tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway-but the Hershey Man will know!YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH This is pretty neat. DON'T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST! It takes less than a minute . Work this out as you read...
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Gary and Kerry
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1
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994
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Dr Epstein
(Preview)
Dr. Epstein was a renowned physician who earned his undergraduate, graduate, and medical degrees in his home town and then left for Manhattan, where he quickly rose to the top of his field. Soon he was invited to deliver a significant paper, at a conference, coincidentally held in his home town....
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jimricho
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0
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731
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