Just Joking

Xtrail51 · Xtrail51

ATT000033...wav02:20 WHO CARES HOW OLD YOU ARE, LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST... "Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body with a bag full of money, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, "Holy ****... What a Ride!!"...

dave06 · dave06

the lone ranger was having a beer at the bar one day when this feller comes in and says "who owns the big white stallion out the front" the ranger say "he's mine, why" stranger "he's just about dead from heat exhaustion" ranger and tonto run outside and sure enou...

dave06 · dave06

a long distance truckie pulls into a truckstop for a little break, walks up to the counter and orders a cuppa and a bun upon picking up his order he notices a big jar of $2 coins, casually asks the waitress what it's for, she says "ah!! would you like a go mate, we have a donkey out the back that has neve...

mike and Judy · mike and Judy

The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you I musttell you, t...

dave06 · dave06

the royal navy had a brainwave and decided to ease the restrictions on induction to try to bolster their numbers it was decided to let gay men in day one was a swimming and survival test to see how long the new recruits could tread water the instructor ordered the first man into the tank left him there for t...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day/5-kilogram weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representa...

dave06 · dave06

"Be Buggered If I Can See Any Resemblance. ."

dave06 · dave06

did you hear about the gay outlaw................. rode into town and shot up the sherriff..................... a cowboy wearing paper boots..............paper hat...................paper chaps,................. paper trousers and a paper shirt.................... was arrested .....

dave06 · dave06

tonto was tracking a wild man when he suddenly sat up and said to the lone ranger "buffallo come" suitably impressed the lone ranger said.............. "how can you know that " to which tonto replied ...................."EAR STICKY"......................

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

A lady with rather small breast but a very large buttocks region goes into the doctors rooms . Doctor asked want can I do for you . Well Dr I want a breast implant and I was considering having you take some off my buttocks and implanting it in my breast. Dr looks at her rather large rear end and said , I h...

dave06 · dave06

tonto was looking very penchant and suddenly stated to the lone ranger that a train had definately pssed this way very recently the lone ranger was very impressed at tonto being able to tell that at such a long distance he had to ask how tonto could possibly know that his reply was.......................

drongo & wendy · drongo & wendy

A Mexian woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted the challenge and promptly pecked a hole in a tree with no problem. the Mex...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your hus...

NannyMon · NannyMon

If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Alt...

NannyMon · NannyMon

Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at m...

NannyMon · NannyMon

Church Organist There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said s...

NannyMon · NannyMon

RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher) After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Gr...

sgntbilko · sgntbilko

Interesting facts that you really don't need to know. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you passed wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an ato...

JRH · JRH

A young Irish chap goes to confession and says to the priest "Forgive me father for I have sinned" "And what is your sin my son?" replies the priest "Last night I had unprotected sex with a girl." says the chap "That is a very serious sin, my son, tell me who was the g...

drongo & wendy · drongo & wendy

Dear dogs and cats, the dishes with the paw marks are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my food dosent stake a claim to it, and nor do i find it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not built by NASCAR and is no...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Live life to the fullest (Preview) ATT000033...wav02:20 WHO CARES HOW OLD YOU ARE, LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST... *"Life's Journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved* *body with a bag full of money, but rather to skid in sideways,* *totally worn out, shouting, "Holy ... What a Ride!!"...*	Xtrail51	3	1121	08:14 PM Apr 17, 2009 by Xtrail51
	heres tonto and freind again (Preview) the lone ranger was having a beer at the bar one day when this feller comes in and says "who owns the big white stallion out the front" the ranger say "he's mine, why" stranger "he's just about dead from heat exhaustion" ranger and tonto run outside and sure enou...	dave06	3	993	07:19 PM Apr 17, 2009 by Roostertales
	a jar full of money (Preview) a long distance truckie pulls into a truckstop for a little break, walks up to the counter and orders a cuppa and a bun upon picking up his order he notices a big jar of $2 coins, casually asks the waitress what it's for, she says "ah!! would you like a go mate, we have a donkey out the back that has neve...	dave06	1	1188	07:57 PM Apr 16, 2009 by Roostertales
	forrest gump (Preview) The day finally arrived. Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is at the Pearly Gates, met by St. Peter himself. However, the gates are closed, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. St. Peter said, 'Well, Forrest, it is certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you I musttell you, t...	mike and Judy	1	975	03:34 PM Apr 16, 2009 by dave06
	the day they almost got gays into the navy (Preview) the royal navy had a brainwave and decided to ease the restrictions on induction to try to bolster their numbers it was decided to let gay men in day one was a swimming and survival test to see how long the new recruits could tread water the instructor ordered the first man into the tank left him there for t...	dave06	0	719	03:06 PM Apr 16, 2009 by dave06
	Sure fired Weight Loss Program (Preview) A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day/5-kilogram weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck. She introduces herself as a representa...	Wombat 280	0	1158	02:17 PM Apr 16, 2009 by Wombat 280
	self explanitory (Preview) *"Be Buggered If I Can See* *Any Resemblance. ."*	dave06	9	1268	09:28 AM Apr 16, 2009 by dave06
	not sure if you know these (Preview) did you hear about the gay outlaw................. rode into town and shot up the sherriff..................... a cowboy wearing paper boots..............paper hat...................paper chaps,................. paper trousers and a paper shirt.................... was arrested .....	dave06	1	1053	08:28 AM Apr 16, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	tonto and the lone ranger ride again (Preview) tonto was tracking a wild man when he suddenly sat up and said to the lone ranger "buffallo come" suitably impressed the lone ranger said.............. "how can you know that " to which tonto replied ...................."EAR STICKY"......................	dave06	3	1084	07:18 PM Apr 15, 2009 by Rolly
	Alternative to Breast Implant Surgery (Preview) A lady with rather small breast but a very large buttocks region goes into the doctors rooms . Doctor asked want can I do for you . Well Dr I want a breast implant and I was considering having you take some off my buttocks and implanting it in my breast. Dr looks at her rather large rear end and said , I h...	Wombat 280	1	1037	06:45 PM Apr 15, 2009 by Roostertales
	tonto and the lone ranger (Preview) tonto was looking very penchant and suddenly stated to the lone ranger that a train had definately pssed this way very recently the lone ranger was very impressed at tonto being able to tell that at such a long distance he had to ask how tonto could possibly know that his reply was.......................	dave06	1	1047	05:24 PM Apr 15, 2009 by Basil Faulty
	TWO WOODPECKERS (Preview) A Mexian woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which place had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck. The Canadian woodpecker accepted the challenge and promptly pecked a hole in a tree with no problem. the Mex...	drongo & wendy	2	1203	10:44 PM Apr 14, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Miss leading Cases (Preview) These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your hus...	Basil Faulty	3	968	03:28 PM Apr 14, 2009 by mike and Judy
	A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM (Preview) If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the local health club for me. Alt...	NannyMon	1	1186	08:44 AM Apr 14, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	Friends (Preview) Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards. One day they were playing cards when one looked at the other and said, 'Now don't get mad at m...	NannyMon	0	884	06:08 PM Apr 13, 2009 by NannyMon
	Church Organist (Preview) Church Organist There was this small church down in Texas that had a very big-busted Organist. Her breasts were so huge that they bounced and jiggled while she played the organ. Unfortunately, she distracted the congregation considerably. The very proper church ladies were appalled. They said s...	NannyMon	0	957	05:40 PM Apr 13, 2009 by NannyMon
	RETARDED GRANDPARENTS (Preview) RETARDED GRANDPARENTS - (this was actually reported by a teacher) After Christmas, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following: We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Gr...	NannyMon	1	1173	03:38 PM Apr 13, 2009 by dave06
	INTERESTING FACTS (Preview) Interesting facts that you really don't need to know. If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. (Hardly seems worth it.) If you passed wind consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an ato...	sgntbilko	1	1439	08:15 PM Apr 12, 2009 by NannyMon
	Confession (Preview) A young Irish chap goes to confession and says to the priest "Forgive me father for I have sinned" "And what is your sin my son?" replies the priest "Last night I had unprotected sex with a girl." says the chap "That is a very serious sin, my son, tell me who was the g...	JRH	0	1020	05:03 PM Apr 11, 2009 by JRH
	pets and there owners (Preview) Dear dogs and cats, the dishes with the paw marks are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my food dosent stake a claim to it, and nor do i find it aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. The stairway was not built by NASCAR and is no...	drongo & wendy	1	893	11:42 AM Apr 11, 2009 by Ma
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