Just Joking

Firefly · Firefly

A Mallee farmer got into his ute, drove to a neighbouring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy about 9 opened the door. "Is your Dad home?" the farmer asked. "No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the farmer, &q...

jimricho · jimricho

MOUSE BALLS... I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was a real memo sent out by a computer company (IBM) to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers regarding a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled...

Firefly · Firefly

Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mum that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them. Mum said, "You should say no, they only want to look at your panties". Susie said, "I know they do, that's why I hide them in my bag".

suenami · suenami

Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield. "Quick, quick!" shouts Si...

Firefly · Firefly

A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so muc...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put...

jimricho · jimricho

A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a Blonde in Economy Class gets up & moves to the First Class section and sits down The Flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the Blonde passenger that she will have to return to her Economy seat. The Blonde replies, 'I'm bl...

Firefly · Firefly

At the Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishi...

reza · reza

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat." He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it wou...

Ma · Ma

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. O...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least you...

Ma · Ma

Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm Hot. Wife: You get hot at the darnedest t...

suenami · suenami

Hi all, My son has two weeks hols at xmas and wants me to take him to Lake Eyre. He's computer programmer, aged 26 and never goes outside his job on the Central Coast of NSW. This was my reply - Am I close? Can ny confirm that I'm right? or not? "I would love to do it myself. But this 4-tonne motorhome woul...

suenami · suenami

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in country New South Wales, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and...

Ma · Ma

The Black Bra I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been Married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to Amaze our men by greeting them at the door Wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a Mask over our eyes. We agr...

Ma · Ma

Swearing A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok...

Ma · Ma

It was fun being a baby boomer - until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits. They include; Hermans Hermits - Mrs Brown you've got a lovely walker. Bee Gees - How can you mend a broken hip? Roberta Flack - First time ever I forgot your face. Paul Simon - 50 ways to lose your liver. The Co...

Rolly · Rolly

Basil wrote: "I have a friend who is a very pedantic perfectionist sort of guy who wanted to check out my workshop so I cleaned up; his is always pristine (but never used) went inside and washed my hands with toothpaste..... I think next visit to the War Vets Home I'll find a vacant bed and claim it....

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

A Policeman pulled over a car and strolled up to the drivers window: "Excuse me sir, but do you know that you're driving without a rear light?" The driver jumped out and ran to the rear of his car and let out a whimpering groan. The driver seemed so genuinely distressed that the policeman took...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Before the next race, as the horses b...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Mallee Farmer (Preview) A Mallee farmer got into his ute, drove to a neighbouring farm and knocked at the farmhouse door. A young boy about 9 opened the door. "Is your Dad home?" the farmer asked. "No sir, he isn't," the boy replied. "He went into town." "Well," said the farmer, &q...	Firefly	1	1002	07:01 PM Oct 23, 2009 by Disco Duck
	MOUSE BALLS... (Preview) MOUSE BALLS... I don't know how they wrote this with a straight face. This was a real memo sent out by a computer company (IBM) to its employees in all seriousness. It went to all field engineers regarding a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled...	jimricho	3	986	07:00 PM Oct 23, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Little Susie (Preview) Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mum that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them. Mum said, "You should say no, they only want to look at your panties". Susie said, "I know they do, that's why I hide them in my bag".	Firefly	0	734	02:52 PM Oct 21, 2009 by Firefly
	Two Nuns (Preview) Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield. "Quick, quick!" shouts Si...	suenami	0	834	07:46 PM Oct 19, 2009 by suenami
	Mum (Preview) A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so muc...	Firefly	0	914	05:47 PM Oct 16, 2009 by Firefly
	Smart Kid (Preview) A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put...	Gary and Kerry	1	835	11:59 AM Oct 16, 2009 by Pam
	Blonde flying to Melbourne (Preview) A plane is on its way to Melbourne when a Blonde in Economy Class gets up & moves to the First Class section and sits down The Flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the Blonde passenger that she will have to return to her Economy seat. The Blonde replies, 'I'm bl...	jimricho	1	1129	05:34 PM Oct 12, 2009 by jimricho
	WARNING: A bit rude. (Preview) At the Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day. The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishi...	Firefly	1	1160	03:16 PM Oct 12, 2009 by Ma
	Old Fellow (Preview) A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat." He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it wou...	reza	1	965	02:13 PM Oct 12, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	WAY TO GO MUM (Preview) Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. O...	Ma	1	1243	11:49 AM Oct 12, 2009 by Pam
	Warning May Offend (Preview) A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least you...	Gary and Kerry	2	989	10:16 AM Oct 12, 2009 by dave06
	PILLOW TALK (Preview) Husband: Oh, come on. *Wife:* Leave me alone! *Husband:* It won't take long. *Wife:* I won't be able to sleep afterwards. *Husband:* I can't sleep without it. *Wife:* Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? *Husband:* Because I'm Hot. *Wife:* You get hot at the darnedest t...	Ma	0	983	05:37 PM Oct 11, 2009 by Ma
	Lake Eyre (Preview) Hi all, My son has two weeks hols at xmas and wants me to take him to Lake Eyre. He's computer programmer, aged 26 and never goes outside his job on the Central Coast of NSW. This was my reply - Am I close? Can ny confirm that I'm right? or not? "I would love to do it myself. But this 4-tonne motorhome woul...	suenami	9	1570	11:51 AM Oct 11, 2009 by dave06
	Cranky Old Man (Preview) When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in country New South Wales, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and...	suenami	2	1239	08:07 PM Oct 10, 2009 by Xtrail51
	BLACK IS ????? (Preview) The Black Bra I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been Married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to Amaze our men by greeting them at the door Wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a Mask over our eyes. We agr...	Ma	0	938	04:05 PM Oct 8, 2009 by Ma
	SWEARING (Preview) *Swearing* A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok...	Ma	0	928	12:53 PM Oct 7, 2009 by Ma
	BABY BOOMERS (Preview) It was fun being a baby boomer - until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits. They include; Hermans Hermits - Mrs Brown you've got a lovely walker. Bee Gees - How can you mend a broken hip? Roberta Flack - First time ever I forgot your face. Paul Simon - 50 ways to lose your liver. The Co...	Ma	1	1029	08:55 PM Oct 6, 2009 by suenami
	Confusing tubes. (Preview) Basil wrote: "I have a friend who is a very pedantic perfectionist sort of guy who wanted to check out my workshop so I cleaned up; his is always pristine (but never used) went inside and washed my hands with toothpaste..... I think next visit to the War Vets Home I'll find a vacant bed and claim it....	Rolly	0	626	11:34 AM Oct 6, 2009 by Rolly
	Oh Dear (Preview) A Policeman pulled over a car and strolled up to the drivers window: "Excuse me sir, but do you know that you're driving without a rear light?" The driver jumped out and ran to the rear of his car and let out a whimpering groan. The driver seemed so genuinely distressed that the policeman took...	Gary and Kerry	0	945	10:43 AM Oct 4, 2009 by Gary and Kerry
	For the punters... (Preview) One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Before the next race, as the horses b...	Basil Faulty	0	906	10:56 AM Oct 2, 2009 by Basil Faulty
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