|
Irish Farmer
(Preview)
An Irish farmer named Seamus had a road accident with a lorry. In court, the lorry company's hot-shot solicitor was questioning Seamus.. Didn't you say to the Police at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?' asked the solicitor. Seamus responded: 'Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded...
|
jimricho
|
1
|
1062
|
|
|
|
|
For the golfers.....
(Preview)
A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make,I'm not a virgin." The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age." The wife continues, "Yeah, I've b...
|
Basil Faulty
|
1
|
883
|
|
|
|
|
help
(Preview)
we are buying our first van and are looking at a 7.3 mtr van and they tell me i cant pull it with a 2004 ford wagon is this right or should i go smaller percy
|
percy
|
0
|
632
|
|
|
|
|
The Irish
(Preview)
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
|
Firefly
|
1
|
1195
|
|
|
|
|
Operating system failure
(Preview)
Tech support Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 . In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many...
|
twobob
|
0
|
911
|
|
|
|
|
Another Blonde Joke
(Preview)
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver's window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The officer cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "Pull over!" at the top of his lung...
|
Firefly
|
0
|
841
|
|
|
|
|
woman - watch out for them
(Preview)
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the football game. At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three women buy just one ticket. 'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of the men. 'Watch and learn,' answers one of the women. They all boar...
|
twobob
|
0
|
727
|
|
|
|
|
fear
(Preview)
a pharmacist returns to his shop to find a guy leaning against the counter sweating and shaking. he asks the girl behind the counter "whats up with him" , she replies " he came in for some cough medicine and as i couldn't find any i gave hime a whole bottle of laxative". "you id...
|
twobob
|
1
|
670
|
|
|
|
|
Ah those Kiwis
(Preview)
For those of us who love everything to do with Kiwis... Two Kiwis, Ian and Craig, are walking down a street in Bondi. Ian happens to look in one of the shop windows and sees a sign that catches his eye. The sign said 'Suits $10.00 each, Shirts $4.00 each, Trousers $5.00 a pair.' Ian says to his pa...
|
Cruising Granny
|
0
|
949
|
|
|
|
|
A Halloween Tale
(Preview)
A man was walking home alone late one foggy night,when behind him he hears: BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him. BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... Terrified, the man begins t...
|
Firefly
|
2
|
1093
|
|
|
|
|
I THINK YOU ARE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS !
(Preview)
I THINK YOU ARE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS ! A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' No...
|
jimricho
|
1
|
831
|
|
|
|
|
Is there an after life? Answer -
(Preview)
THE AFTERLIFE A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife. After a long life, the husband was the first to go, and true to his word he made contact. Mary. Mary. Is that you, Fred? Yes, Ive come b...
|
Cruising Granny
|
0
|
616
|
|
|
|
|
Three Roses
(Preview)
A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wanted her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed. Awakening from the anaesthesia after the surgery she found 3 roses...
|
Firefly
|
0
|
877
|
|
|
|
|
Blonde joke
(Preview)
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What make...
|
Gary and Kerry
|
0
|
872
|
|
|
|
|
Bar sports
(Preview)
This guy walks into a bar on the top of a very tall building. He sits down, orders a huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out. Five minutes later, the guy walks into the bar again, orders another huge beer, chugs it, walks over to the window, and jumps out again. Five minutes later, he re-...
|
Gary and Kerry
|
0
|
554
|
|
|
|
|
The Bull
(Preview)
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sis...
|
Firefly
|
2
|
998
|
|
|
|
|
Baked Beans
(Preview)
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up baked beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I woul...
|
Firefly
|
2
|
996
|
|
|
|
|
60 plus deodorant.
(Preview)
For Seniors 60 plus deodorant. I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom". I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells awesome!
|
jimricho
|
2
|
982
|
|
|
|
|
the junior conductor
(Preview)
A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room.. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You b*****ds who want off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b*****ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos...
|
twobob
|
1
|
852
|
|
|
|
|
Stay Calm
(Preview)
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Gramps is wor...
|
Disco Duck
|
0
|
773
|
|
|
