Just Joking

reza · reza

A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat." He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it wou...

Ma · Ma

Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. O...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least you...

Ma · Ma

Husband: Oh, come on. Wife: Leave me alone! Husband: It won't take long. Wife: I won't be able to sleep afterwards. Husband: I can't sleep without it. Wife: Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? Husband: Because I'm Hot. Wife: You get hot at the darnedest t...

suenami · suenami

Hi all, My son has two weeks hols at xmas and wants me to take him to Lake Eyre. He's computer programmer, aged 26 and never goes outside his job on the Central Coast of NSW. This was my reply - Am I close? Can ny confirm that I'm right? or not? "I would love to do it myself. But this 4-tonne motorhome woul...

suenami · suenami

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in country New South Wales, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and...

Ma · Ma

The Black Bra I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been Married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to Amaze our men by greeting them at the door Wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a Mask over our eyes. We agr...

Ma · Ma

Swearing A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok...

Ma · Ma

It was fun being a baby boomer - until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits. They include; Hermans Hermits - Mrs Brown you've got a lovely walker. Bee Gees - How can you mend a broken hip? Roberta Flack - First time ever I forgot your face. Paul Simon - 50 ways to lose your liver. The Co...

Rolly · Rolly

Basil wrote: "I have a friend who is a very pedantic perfectionist sort of guy who wanted to check out my workshop so I cleaned up; his is always pristine (but never used) went inside and washed my hands with toothpaste..... I think next visit to the War Vets Home I'll find a vacant bed and claim it....

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

A Policeman pulled over a car and strolled up to the drivers window: "Excuse me sir, but do you know that you're driving without a rear light?" The driver jumped out and ran to the rear of his car and let out a whimpering groan. The driver seemed so genuinely distressed that the policeman took...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Before the next race, as the horses b...

Firefly · Firefly

So Paddy asks Murphy: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which Murphy replies,"Well if they fell forwards they'd still be in the bloody boat!"

suenami · suenami

A maths Problem? Why Australia is in Trouble The population of this country is 20 million. 11 million are retired. That leaves 9 million to do the work. There are 5 million in school Which leaves 4 million to do the work. Of this there are 2 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 2 mi...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

Finally, a definition of globalization that I can understand and to which Inow can relate : Question:What is the truest definition of Globalization ? Answer :Princess Diana's death.. Question :How come? Answer : An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,dri...

Firefly · Firefly

An old man lived alone in the countryside. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it would be very hard work as the ground was hardened. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him normally, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincent, I am feeling prett...

Firefly · Firefly

STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old f art, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't...

Jonathan · Jonathan

Mmmm .. I wonder if you can relate to this ..

reza · reza

Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee, read paper (both of which are free). 3) 15 minutes later, swipe the Visa and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $...

Firefly · Firefly

Should children witness childbirth? Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she w...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Old Fellow (Preview) A man was sunbathing naked at the beach. For the sake of civility, and to keep it from getting sunburned, he had a hat over his privates. A woman walks past and says, snickering, "If you were a gentleman you'd lift your hat." He raised an eyebrow and replied, "If you weren't so ugly it wou...	reza	1	1002	02:13 PM Oct 12, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	WAY TO GO MUM (Preview) Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but notice how beautiful Brian's roommate, Jennifer, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of the platonic relationship between Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her more curious. O...	Ma	1	1278	11:49 AM Oct 12, 2009 by Pam
	Warning May Offend (Preview) A dog, a cat, and a penis are sitting around a camp fire one night. The dog says, "My life sucks, my master makes me do my business on a fire hydrent!". The cat says, "I don't think so, my master makes me do my business in a box of cat litter." The penis outraged, says "At least you...	Gary and Kerry	2	1023	10:16 AM Oct 12, 2009 by dave06
	PILLOW TALK (Preview) Husband: Oh, come on. *Wife:* Leave me alone! *Husband:* It won't take long. *Wife:* I won't be able to sleep afterwards. *Husband:* I can't sleep without it. *Wife:* Why do you think of things like this in the middle of the night? *Husband:* Because I'm Hot. *Wife:* You get hot at the darnedest t...	Ma	0	1013	05:37 PM Oct 11, 2009 by Ma
	Lake Eyre (Preview) Hi all, My son has two weeks hols at xmas and wants me to take him to Lake Eyre. He's computer programmer, aged 26 and never goes outside his job on the Central Coast of NSW. This was my reply - Am I close? Can ny confirm that I'm right? or not? "I would love to do it myself. But this 4-tonne motorhome woul...	suenami	9	1613	11:51 AM Oct 11, 2009 by dave06
	Cranky Old Man (Preview) When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in country New South Wales, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and...	suenami	2	1269	08:07 PM Oct 10, 2009 by Xtrail51
	BLACK IS ????? (Preview) The Black Bra I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been Married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to Amaze our men by greeting them at the door Wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a Mask over our eyes. We agr...	Ma	0	976	04:05 PM Oct 8, 2009 by Ma
	SWEARING (Preview) *Swearing* A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok...	Ma	0	963	12:53 PM Oct 7, 2009 by Ma
	BABY BOOMERS (Preview) It was fun being a baby boomer - until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits. They include; Hermans Hermits - Mrs Brown you've got a lovely walker. Bee Gees - How can you mend a broken hip? Roberta Flack - First time ever I forgot your face. Paul Simon - 50 ways to lose your liver. The Co...	Ma	1	1058	08:55 PM Oct 6, 2009 by suenami
	Confusing tubes. (Preview) Basil wrote: "I have a friend who is a very pedantic perfectionist sort of guy who wanted to check out my workshop so I cleaned up; his is always pristine (but never used) went inside and washed my hands with toothpaste..... I think next visit to the War Vets Home I'll find a vacant bed and claim it....	Rolly	0	671	11:34 AM Oct 6, 2009 by Rolly
	Oh Dear (Preview) A Policeman pulled over a car and strolled up to the drivers window: "Excuse me sir, but do you know that you're driving without a rear light?" The driver jumped out and ran to the rear of his car and let out a whimpering groan. The driver seemed so genuinely distressed that the policeman took...	Gary and Kerry	0	980	10:43 AM Oct 4, 2009 by Gary and Kerry
	For the punters... (Preview) One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Before the next race, as the horses b...	Basil Faulty	0	940	10:56 AM Oct 2, 2009 by Basil Faulty
	The Delightful Irish (Preview) So Paddy asks Murphy: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which Murphy replies,"Well if they fell forwards they'd still be in the bloody boat!"	Firefly	0	855	12:58 PM Sep 30, 2009 by Firefly
	I Know why Australia is in Trouble (Preview) A maths Problem? Why Australia is in Trouble The population of this country is 20 million. 11 million are retired. That leaves 9 million to do the work. There are 5 million in school Which leaves 4 million to do the work. Of this there are 2 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 2 mi...	suenami	0	1001	09:06 PM Sep 29, 2009 by suenami
	Globalization (Preview) Finally, a definition of globalization that I can understand and to which Inow can relate : Question:What is the truest definition of Globalization ? Answer :Princess Diana's death.. Question :How come? Answer : An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,dri...	Gary and Kerry	0	872	03:28 PM Sep 29, 2009 by Gary and Kerry
	The Good Son (Preview) An old man lived alone in the countryside. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it would be very hard work as the ground was hardened. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him normally, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincent, I am feeling prett...	Firefly	0	665	12:53 PM Sep 28, 2009 by Firefly
	Stud Rooster (Preview) STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old f art, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't...	Firefly	0	740	05:59 PM Sep 27, 2009 by Firefly
	waddya reckon !! (Preview) Mmmm .. I wonder if you can relate to this ..	Jonathan	2	825	09:49 PM Sep 26, 2009 by suenami
	OIL CHANGE (Preview) Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee, read paper (both of which are free). 3) 15 minutes later, swipe the Visa and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $...	reza	1	918	09:47 PM Sep 26, 2009 by suenami
	Witnessing Child Birth (Preview) *Should children witness childbirth?* Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she w...	Firefly	1	1275	09:11 PM Sep 25, 2009 by justcruisin01
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