Just Joking

Monica · Monica

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting, Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, Bundles of magazines tied up in string, These are a few of my favorite things.. Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses, Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses, Pacemakers, golf ca...

The Gnome · The Gnome

NEW YORK?- resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question and proceeded to make what fa...

Firefly · Firefly

A retired couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Tamworth . Bert always wanted a pair of R.M. WILLIAMS boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?' Margaret looked him over. 'N...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

http://walter.no.sapo.pt/humor/2001-06-28/humor-044.gif

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What ma...

Firefly · Firefly

A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime. They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager. After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little boy said loudly, "Wow, She's fat! The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to f...

Firefly · Firefly

A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," says t...

suenami · suenami

Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: > >I decide to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the ta...

Ma · Ma

A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales. So, he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' Soon Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed...

Monica · Monica

You have to read all this...try and keep yer sanity while doing so and smile. By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND "TENJOOBERRYMUDS". In order to continue getting-by in our home land, we all need to learn the new English language. Practice by reading the following conve...

twobob · twobob

OK enough of the jokes that have the answer, what about this to think about If the person who made it, did not want it If the person who purchased it, did not use it If the person that used it, did not know What was it???

Monica · Monica

It was fun being a baby boomer - until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits. They include: Hermans Hermits - Mrs Brown you have got a lovely walker. Bee Gees - How can you mend a broken hip? Roberta Flack - First time ever I forgot your face. The Commodo...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Saving water while free camping is a must do . But not with another bloke thank you.

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

When the wheels fall off there is always life left in the old girl

Monica · Monica

Don't forget,Reset your mouse once per year!! MOUSE CALIBRATION You should actually do this every year. Even more often is recommended if you spend a lot of time on the computer. I was shocked to see how well this works! To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the Y below. Then drag the Y toward...

Ma · Ma

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head Abbot to question this, point...

dave06 · dave06

I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was li...

The Gnome · The Gnome

Lipstick in School (You've got to love this principal) According to a news report, a certain private school in Brisbane was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their l...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Someone wanted to know what to do with a redundant scissor jack

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Julie Andrews on ageing. (Preview) Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting, Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, Bundles of magazines tied up in string, These are a few of my favorite things.. Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses, Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses, Pacemakers, golf ca...	Monica	7	1227	03:42 PM Aug 10, 2009 by dave06
	They Walk Among Us! (Preview) NEW YORK?- resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.' Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question and proceeded to make what fa...	The Gnome	3	956	02:33 PM Aug 10, 2009 by JRH
	Bert and Margaret (Preview) A retired couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Tamworth . Bert always wanted a pair of R.M. WILLIAMS boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?' Margaret looked him over. 'N...	Firefly	0	871	08:10 PM Aug 9, 2009 by Firefly
	Evolution of man and woman (Preview) http://walter.no.sapo.pt/humor/2001-06-28/humor-044.gif	Gary and Kerry	0	696	04:07 PM Aug 9, 2009 by Gary and Kerry
	Maths Will Get You There (Preview) This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint...it goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What ma...	Wombat 280	0	609	11:49 PM Aug 8, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Beep Beep (Preview) A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime. They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager. After waiting patiently for a few minutes, the little boy said loudly, "Wow, She's fat! The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's...	Firefly	0	669	06:46 PM Aug 7, 2009 by Firefly
	Why Americans Should Never Be Allowed To Travel (Preview) The following are actual stories provided by travel agents: I had someone ask for an aisle seats so that his or her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to f...	Gary and Kerry	2	807	09:56 PM Aug 6, 2009 by suenami
	The Talking Duck (Preview) A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a ham sandwich. The barman looks at him and says, "Hang on! You're a duck." "I see your eyes are working," replies the duck. "And you can talk!" exclaims the barman. "I see your ears are working, too," says t...	Firefly	1	1036	09:48 PM Aug 6, 2009 by suenami
	A.A.A.D.D. (Preview) Recently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: > >I decide to wash my car. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the hall table. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I lay my car keys down on the ta...	suenami	2	826	03:32 PM Aug 6, 2009 by sgntbilko
	THE IRISH PETROL STATION (Preview) A petrol station owner in Dublin was trying to increase his sales. So, he put up a sign that read, 'Free Sex with Fill-Up.' Soon Paddy pulled in, filled his tank and asked for his free sex. The owner told him to pick a number from 1 to 10. If he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. Paddy guessed...	Ma	0	813	06:37 AM Aug 5, 2009 by Ma
	Tenjooberrymuds (Preview) You have to read all this...try and keep yer sanity while doing so and smile. By the time you read through this YOU WILL UNDERSTAND "TENJOOBERRYMUDS". In order to continue getting-by in our home land, we all need to learn the new English language. Practice by reading the following conve...	Monica	4	866	10:51 PM Aug 4, 2009 by suenami
	brain teaster (Preview) OK enough of the jokes that have the answer, what about this to think about If the person who made it, did not want it If the person who purchased it, did not use it If the person that used it, did not know What was it???	twobob	1	905	10:50 PM Aug 4, 2009 by BSW
	Baby Boomers (Preview) It was fun being a baby boomer - until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits. They include: Hermans Hermits - Mrs Brown you have got a lovely walker. Bee Gees - How can you mend a broken hip? Roberta Flack - First time ever I forgot your face. The Commodo...	Monica	4	920	10:35 PM Aug 4, 2009 by twobob
	Top Idea for Saving Water (Preview) Saving water while free camping is a must do . But not with another bloke thank you.	Wombat 280	0	859	08:13 PM Aug 4, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Old Vans Never Die (Preview) When the wheels fall off there is always life left in the old girl	Wombat 280	0	760	08:00 PM Aug 4, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Mouse Calibration (Preview) Don't forget,Reset your mouse once per year!! MOUSE CALIBRATION You should actually do this every year. Even more often is recommended if you spend a lot of time on the computer. I was shocked to see how well this works! To re-calibrate your mouse, click and hold on the Y below. Then drag the Y toward...	Monica	4	882	07:43 PM Aug 4, 2009 by Wombat 280
	THE MISSING "R" (Preview) A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head Abbot to question this, point...	Ma	0	811	07:12 PM Aug 4, 2009 by Ma
	damn technology (Preview) I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was li...	dave06	0	703	05:18 PM Aug 4, 2009 by dave06
	Lipstick in School (Preview) Lipstick in School (You've got to love this principal) According to a news report, a certain private school in Brisbane was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their l...	The Gnome	1	736	01:13 PM Aug 4, 2009 by Ma
	All Jacked Up (Preview) Someone wanted to know what to do with a redundant scissor jack	Wombat 280	0	961	10:18 AM Aug 4, 2009 by Wombat 280
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