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Cranky Old Man
(Preview)
When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in country New South Wales, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through his meagre possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and...
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suenami
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2
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1304
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BLACK IS ?????
(Preview)
The Black Bra I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been Married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to Amaze our men by greeting them at the door Wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a Mask over our eyes. We agr...
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Ma
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0
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1023
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SWEARING
(Preview)
Swearing A 7 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. 'You know what?' says the 7 year old, 'I think it's about time we started swearing.' The 4 year old nods his head in approval, so the 7 year old says, 'When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok...
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Ma
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0
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999
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BABY BOOMERS
(Preview)
It was fun being a baby boomer - until now. Some of the artists of the 60's are revising their hits. They include; Hermans Hermits - Mrs Brown you've got a lovely walker. Bee Gees - How can you mend a broken hip? Roberta Flack - First time ever I forgot your face. Paul Simon - 50 ways to lose your liver. The Co...
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Ma
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1
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1095
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Confusing tubes.
(Preview)
Basil wrote: "I have a friend who is a very pedantic perfectionist sort of guy who wanted to check out my workshop so I cleaned up; his is always pristine (but never used) went inside and washed my hands with toothpaste..... I think next visit to the War Vets Home I'll find a vacant bed and claim it....
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Rolly
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0
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711
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Oh Dear
(Preview)
A Policeman pulled over a car and strolled up to the drivers window: "Excuse me sir, but do you know that you're driving without a rear light?" The driver jumped out and ran to the rear of his car and let out a whimpering groan. The driver seemed so genuinely distressed that the policeman took...
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Gary and Kerry
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0
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1016
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For the punters...
(Preview)
One day while he was at the track playing the ponies and all but losing his shirt, Mitch noticed a priest who stepped out onto the track and blessed the forehead of one of the horses lining up for the 4th race. Lo and behold, that horse - a very long shot - won the race. Before the next race, as the horses b...
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Basil Faulty
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0
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982
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The Delightful Irish
(Preview)
So Paddy asks Murphy: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which Murphy replies,"Well if they fell forwards they'd still be in the bloody boat!"
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Firefly
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0
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898
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I Know why Australia is in Trouble
(Preview)
A maths Problem? Why Australia is in Trouble The population of this country is 20 million. 11 million are retired. That leaves 9 million to do the work. There are 5 million in school Which leaves 4 million to do the work. Of this there are 2 million employed by the federal government. Leaving 2 mi...
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suenami
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0
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1040
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Globalization
(Preview)
Finally, a definition of globalization that I can understand and to which Inow can relate : Question:What is the truest definition of Globalization ? Answer :Princess Diana's death.. Question :How come? Answer : An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel,dri...
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Gary and Kerry
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0
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918
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The Good Son
(Preview)
An old man lived alone in the countryside. He wanted to dig his tomato garden, but it would be very hard work as the ground was hardened. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him normally, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament. Dear Vincent, I am feeling prett...
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Firefly
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0
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708
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Stud Rooster
(Preview)
STUD ROOSTER A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK old f art, time for you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't...
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Firefly
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0
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772
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waddya reckon !!
(Preview)
Mmmm .. I wonder if you can relate to this ..
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Jonathan
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2
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877
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OIL CHANGE
(Preview)
Oil Change instructions for Women: 1) Drive into Ultra Tune when the odometer reaches 10,000 kilometres since the last oil change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee, read paper (both of which are free). 3) 15 minutes later, swipe the Visa and leave with a properly maintained vehicle. Money spent: Oil Change: $...
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reza
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1
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961
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Witnessing Child Birth
(Preview)
Should children witness childbirth? Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she w...
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Firefly
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1
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1313
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RETIREMENT
(Preview)
We've often been asked, 'What do you old folks do now that you're retired'? Well we are fortunate to have a chemical engineering background, and one of the things we enjoy most is turning beer, wine, Scotch, and margaritas into urine. Mind you there is still a lot or research to be done and althoug...
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Ma
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1
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873
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Heart Attack
(Preview)
The Blonde & The Heart Attack A blonde gets home early from shopping and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed, sweating and panting..... 'What's up?' she asks. 'I think I'm having a heart attack,' cries the husband.. The...
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kenglenn11
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0
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691
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Understanding Women
(Preview)
A man was riding his Harley along a California beach when suddenly the >> sky >> clouded above his head... In a booming voice, the Lord said, 'Because you >> have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.' >> >> The biker pulled over and said, 'Bui...
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suenami
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0
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960
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Your parrot is dead, Senor
(Preview)
At dawn the telephone rings, 'Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house.' 'Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?' 'Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead' 'My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International compe...
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suenami
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1
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925
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Barbie
(Preview)
The Divorced Barbie Doll One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers his daughter's Christmas gift. He stops by a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?' The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Wor...
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reza
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0
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817
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