|
Kiwi on a desert island
(Preview)
A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to w...
|
jimricho
|
0
|
1049
|
|
|
|
|
Warning "Adult" content.....LOL
(Preview)
To make it stand, You wet it !To make it wet, You suck it !To make it stiff, You lick it !To get it in, You push it! Darn !!!!!!! Threading a needle when you're older is a BITCH!
|
Ma
|
0
|
1218
|
|
|
|
|
chilli
(Preview)
WARNING : ONLY Read This Once You Are Able To LAUGH OUT LOUD. Hysterics might set in. The writer of this piece paints a very vivid picture... funny stuff. You will laugh - guaranteed! ENJOY!! I went to Bunnings recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the pre...
|
hammer
|
0
|
1206
|
|
|
|
|
Moral Of The Story
(Preview)
A fellow walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 notes. He guesses there must be more than ten thousand pounds in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, 'What's with the money in the jar?' 'Well... you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, yo...
|
Firefly
|
0
|
1102
|
|
|
|
|
Jump For Health
(Preview)
A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?' The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, 'I don't care what you think. I ju...
|
Firefly
|
0
|
886
|
|
|
|
|
not this time ranger!!!
(Preview)
One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to take a wee. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do." So Tont...
|
dave06
|
0
|
901
|
|
|
|
|
Frozen Skunk
(Preview)
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband, 'It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let i...
|
Firefly
|
1
|
1334
|
|
|
|
|
The meaning of service
(Preview)
I became confused when I heard the word "Service " used with these agencies: Internal Revenue 'Service' Australian. . Postal 'Service' Telephone 'Service' TV 'Service' Civil 'Service' State, City, Council & Public 'Service' Customer 'Service' This is not what I thought...
|
jimricho
|
3
|
1104
|
|
|
|
|
Dr Tim Says- What do you Reckon?
(Preview)
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;that's like saying you can extend th...
|
Dawn
|
1
|
1013
|
|
|
|
|
The sound in the Monastry
(Preview)
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a so...
|
jimricho
|
0
|
1215
|
|
|
|
|
MEDICAL PROBLEM
(Preview)
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?' The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.' The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had...
|
Ma
|
0
|
951
|
|
|
|
|
Rented Apartment
(Preview)
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment "Rent for Apartment." On th...
|
Firefly
|
0
|
1008
|
|
|
|
|
Pet Names
(Preview)
An elderly gent was invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his cobber preceded every request to his Wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly,they were Stil...
|
Gary and Kerry
|
0
|
997
|
|
|
|
|
happy girl (wrong but funny)
(Preview)
Col, the Country Lawyer, ran across an old client outside of the Alice Springs Court, an aboriginal lady who was beaming from ear to ear. She was carrying a sheet of corrugated iron under one arm & a slab of Fosters under the other G'day Mary, says Col, what are you looking so happy about today ? Ju...
|
dave06
|
3
|
885
|
|
|
|
|
An Irish Story
(Preview)
An Irish daughter had not been home for over a year. Upon her return, her Father cussed her. 'Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?' The girl, crying, replied, 'Sniff, sniff.....Dad....I beca...
|
Firefly
|
1
|
1035
|
|
|
|
|
IT'S TOUGH GETTING OLD
(Preview)
A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample." The man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?" The wi...
|
Ma
|
0
|
934
|
|
|
|
|
You Go Girl!!
(Preview)
A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work co cktail with her girlfriends when a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him. The young-at-heart man noticed her overly attentive stare and walked dir...
|
Firefly
|
1
|
966
|
|
|
|
|
Irish Priest
(Preview)
THE IRISH PRIEST An Irish priest was transferred to Texas ... Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in th...
|
The Gnome
|
1
|
723
|
|
|
|
|
IF THE PRICE IS RIGHT?
(Preview)
Prince Charles decided to take up jogging. Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow. 'One hundred and fifty pounds!' she'd shout from the curb. 'No! Five pounds!' He would fire back, just...
|
Ma
|
0
|
719
|
|
|
|
|
Nurses aren't suppose to laugh.
(Preview)
Nurses aren't supposed to laugh... 'Of course I won't laugh, said the nurse. I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.' 'Okay then, said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, it couldn...
|
Firefly
|
1
|
855
|
|
|
