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The Army Has New Recruiting Policies
(Preview)
Drafting Guys over 60----this is funny & obviously written by a Former Soldier- New Direction for any war: Send Service Vets over 60! I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwa...
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Disco Duck
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0
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950
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Kevin Rudd
(Preview)
Kevin Rudd was out jogging one morning along the harbour pathway near Kirribilli House in Sydney when he tripped, fell down a bank and landed in the water below. Before the Security detail guys could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids wha...
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Firefly
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0
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773
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Fart Football
(Preview)
An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'Its fart football.' A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says 'Touchdown, tie score.' After about five minut...
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Gary and Kerry
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1111
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A Little Poem For You
(Preview)
Another year has passed and we're all a little older. Last summer felt hotter and winter seems much colder. There was a time not long ago when life was quite a blast. Now I fully understand about 'Living in the Past' We used to go to weddings, football games and lunches. Now we go to funeral homes, and afte...
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Disco Duck
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0
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901
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Baby's First Doctor Visit.
(Preview)
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first check up. The doctor arrived, and examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed. 'Breast-fed,' the woman replied. 'Well...
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Ma
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1021
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Another blond joke
(Preview)
A blonde hurried into the emergency room of the hospital late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off. 'How did this happen?' the emergency room doctor asked her. 'Well, I was trying to commit suicide,' the blonde replied. What?' sputtered the doctor. "you tried to commit suici...
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Ma
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979
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The Christmas Fairy
(Preview)
CHRISTMAS FAIRY I am a little fairy On tap o' the Christmas Tree It's no' a job I fancy Well how would you like tae be me A tarted up wi' tinsel It's enough to mak ye boak An a couple o' jaggy branches Rammed up the back o' your frock An' these wee lights a'roon me I canna get my sleep An' there's the yearly visit F...
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Disco Duck
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1
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1335
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Little Johnny Strikes Again.
(Preview)
Kevin Rudd was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked Kevin, the saviour of 'working families', if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So Kevin (the saviour of 'w...
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Firefly
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0
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1017
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Hotel Bill
(Preview)
Next time you think your hotel bill is too high you might want to Consider this... A husband and wife are travelling by car from Brisbane to Melbourne .. After almost ten hours on the road, they're too tired to continue and They decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a Room, but they onl...
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Palebushman
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1
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1022
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Grandpa
(Preview)
Grandad was reminiscing about the good old days.................... "When I were a lad, Momma would send me down to t'corner store wi' a dollar, and I'd come back wi' five pounds o' potatoes, two loaves o' bread, three pints o' milk, a pound o' cheese, a packet o' tea, an' 'alf a dozen eggs. Yer c...
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Disco Duck
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1
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955
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rub my back
(Preview)
Taliban A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghanistan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the object, only to find a little old Jewish man at a small stand selling ties. The Taliban asked, 'Do you have water?' The...
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dave06
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1210
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Grandpa
(Preview)
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a story from her bible. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the bible pictures and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God...
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Disco Duck
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0
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986
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Honeymoon
(Preview)
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. As soon as he could manage,he took himself to the doctor. He said 'How bad is it doc? I'm 20, going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin - in every way' The doctor told him, 'I...
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Firefly
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0
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1165
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GROWING OLD;
(Preview)
IMPORTANT ! MESSAGE ABOUT GROWING OLD ; ****; I FORGOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO TELL YOU;
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justcruisin01
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2
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1220
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!2 Days of Christmas
(Preview)
12 Days of Christmas December 14, 1992 My dearest darling John: Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way. My love always, Agnes December 15, 1992 Dearest John: Today the post...
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Disco Duck
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3
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1014
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Happy Housewife at Christmas
(Preview)
ThE JoYs Of ChRiStMaSTwas the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen; I was cooking and baking and moanin and bitchin. I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest. This room's a disaster, just look at this mess! Tommorow I've got thirty people to feed. They expect all the trimmings. Who c...
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Disco Duck
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0
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950
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The Difference Between Grandfathers and Grandmothers
(Preview)
Have you ever wondered what the difference between Grandmothers and Grandfathers is?Well here it is: A friend, who worked away from home all week, always made a special effort with his family on the weekends. Every Sunday morning he would take his 7-year old granddaughter out for a drive in the car f...
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jimricho
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2
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1356
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A Conversation
(Preview)
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the Airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, 'Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you Strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.' The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed It slowly and said to the stranger, 'Wh...
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Disco Duck
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789
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Who needs school most?
(Preview)
NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND.... I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district. Spellings have been left intact.
1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today Please execute him.
2. Please exkuce Lisa for be...
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Cruising Granny
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1194
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Bicycles Or Women
(Preview)
Why bicycles are better than Women... Bicycles don't get pregnant. You can ride your Bicycle any time of the month. Bicycles don't have parents. Bicycles don't whine unless something is really wrong. You can share your Bicycle with your friends. Bicycles don't care how many other Bicycles you've...
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Gary and Kerry
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1019
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