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Jane and Arlene
(Preview)
Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you ge...
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Firefly
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0
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921
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the pirate
(Preview)
A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. What do you mean? said the pirate, I feel fine. Bartender, What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before. Pirate, Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'...
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Cinnamon
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0
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772
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LET ME TELL YOU
(Preview)
An older,white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told thejeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000. ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something...
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Ma
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0
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917
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Where Did We Come From
(Preview)
A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?'The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve,they had children, and so all mankind was made.'Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the humanrac...
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Firefly
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0
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915
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The Sensitive Man
(Preview)
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in thebedroom, with hundre...
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Ma
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0
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713
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prince charles on tour
(Preview)
prince charles was on tour in the remote regions of australia, upon arrival at Kalgoorlie he was inquired upon by the local mayor of his animal skin head wear his reply was "I said to Mummsy that we would be dropping in on Kalgoorlie, and she replied OHHhh!!! wear the fox hat!!"
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dave06
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2
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1031
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Kiwi on a desert island
(Preview)
A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to w...
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jimricho
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0
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1119
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Warning "Adult" content.....LOL
(Preview)
To make it stand, You wet it !To make it wet, You suck it !To make it stiff, You lick it !To get it in, You push it! Darn !!!!!!! Threading a needle when you're older is a BITCH!
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Ma
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0
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1303
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chilli
(Preview)
WARNING : ONLY Read This Once You Are Able To LAUGH OUT LOUD. Hysterics might set in. The writer of this piece paints a very vivid picture... funny stuff. You will laugh - guaranteed! ENJOY!! I went to Bunnings recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the pre...
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hammer
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0
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1286
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Moral Of The Story
(Preview)
A fellow walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 notes. He guesses there must be more than ten thousand pounds in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, 'What's with the money in the jar?' 'Well... you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, yo...
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Firefly
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0
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1172
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Jump For Health
(Preview)
A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?' The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, 'I don't care what you think. I ju...
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Firefly
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0
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959
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not this time ranger!!!
(Preview)
One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to take a wee. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do." So Tont...
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dave06
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0
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974
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Frozen Skunk
(Preview)
A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband, 'It's nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let i...
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Firefly
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1
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1411
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The meaning of service
(Preview)
I became confused when I heard the word "Service " used with these agencies: Internal Revenue 'Service' Australian. . Postal 'Service' Telephone 'Service' TV 'Service' Civil 'Service' State, City, Council & Public 'Service' Customer 'Service' This is not what I thought...
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jimricho
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3
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1181
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Dr Tim Says- What do you Reckon?
(Preview)
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;that's like saying you can extend th...
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Dawn
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1
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1089
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The sound in the Monastry
(Preview)
A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night? The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a so...
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jimricho
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0
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1292
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MEDICAL PROBLEM
(Preview)
Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, 'What are you in here for?' The second kid says, 'I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous.' The first kid says, 'You've got nothing to worry about. I had...
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Ma
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0
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1034
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Rented Apartment
(Preview)
A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for $500. They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but he would have his secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling the payment "Rent for Apartment." On th...
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Firefly
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0
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1084
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Pet Names
(Preview)
An elderly gent was invited to an old friends home for dinner one evening. He was impressed by the way his cobber preceded every request to his Wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years and, clearly,they were Stil...
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Gary and Kerry
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0
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1078
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happy girl (wrong but funny)
(Preview)
Col, the Country Lawyer, ran across an old client outside of the Alice Springs Court, an aboriginal lady who was beaming from ear to ear. She was carrying a sheet of corrugated iron under one arm & a slab of Fosters under the other G'day Mary, says Col, what are you looking so happy about today ? Ju...
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dave06
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3
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964
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