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Lost wife
(Preview)
A man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and said, "I've lost my wife here in the supermarket, can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" The woman looked puzzled. "Why talk to me?" she asked. "Because every time I talk to a woman with a body like yours, my wife appears out of nowhere...
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anolphart
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2
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634
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A Few More Puns
(Preview)
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.3. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.4. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.5. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer...
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Craig1
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539
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Lion tamer
(Preview)
A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or y...
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anolphart
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0
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511
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A boy comes....
(Preview)
A boy comes home from school and says to his Mum... "Today the teacher asked a question, and I was the only kid who could answer it!" His Mum says "That's great, what was the question?" "Who farted?" Replied the boy...
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aussie_paul
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1
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464
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Martian sex
(Preview)
The year is 2222 and Mike and Maureen land on Mars after accumulating enough frequent flier miles. They meet a Martian couple and are talking about all sorts of things. Mike asks if Mars has a stock market, if they have laptop computers, how they make money, etc. Finally, Maureen brings up the subjec...
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anolphart
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2
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658
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The Drover at the Pearly Gates..
(Preview)
A drover from a huge cattle station in the outback appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates."Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked."Well, I can think of one thing," the drover offered."Once, on a trip to the back blocks of Broken Hill out in New South Wales , I came acros...
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aussie_paul
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1
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477
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Be strong!
(Preview)
An escaped convict, imprisoned for 1st degree murder, had spent 25 years of his life sentence in prison. While on the run, he broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. He tied the man to a chair on one side of the room and his wife on the bed. He got on the bed righ...
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anolphart
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1
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510
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Who thinks up these things!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
FAMILY TREE OF VINCENT VAN GOGH (always pronounced as Van GO)His dizzy aunt ----------------------------------------------- Verti GoghThe brother who ate prunes------------------------------- Gotta GoghThe brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N GoghThe grandfather fr...
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aussie_paul
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1
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558
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Who wore it best?
(Preview)
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Bobdown
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3
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608
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lol...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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538
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40-40-40...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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413
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The officer...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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459
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The officer...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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404
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A new priest...
(Preview)
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.After the mass, he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor replied, When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.Next Sunday the new p...
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aussie_paul
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361
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Comments
(Preview)
12 of the finest (unintentional) double-entendres ever aired on TV and radio.1.Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator 'This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother.'2.New Zealand Rugby Commentator 'Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him.'3.Pat Glenn, weightlifti...
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rgren2
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2
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593
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Who said...
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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546
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Good deed done for the day..
(Preview)
I was just in Coles at the checkout, and an old bloke in front was getting served.His bill came to $54.60, but when he counted out his change, he had just under $50.He didn't want me to help him, God bless him, but I insisted, and in no time we had all his shopping back on the shelves.
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aussie_paul
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707
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Stolen from another site -
(Preview)
Johnny's pregnant sister was in a terrible car accident and went into a deep coma.After being in the coma for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant.Frantically, she asks the Doctor about her baby.The doctor replies, " Madam, you had twins....a boy and a girl. The babie...
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aussie_paul
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1
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624
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Don't want any kids
(Preview)
My wife and I decided last night that we dont want any kids.We will tell them later today!
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anolphart
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395
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A plan..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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2
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440
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