Just Joking

Firefly · Firefly

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sis...

Firefly · Firefly

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up baked beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I woul...

jimricho · jimricho

For Seniors 60 plus deodorant. I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom". I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells awesome!

twobob · twobob

A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room.. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You b*****ds who want off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b*****ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Gramps is wor...

Disco Duck · Disco Duck

Two cattle drovers were standing in an Outback bar. One asked, "What are ya up to, mate?" "Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie." "Oh yeah . and what route are you takin'?" "Ah, prob'ly the Missus ... after all, she stuck by me durin' the drough...

Firefly · Firefly

-- Edited by Firefly on Monday 2nd of November 2009 03:44:34 PM

Firefly · Firefly

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?' The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again a...

twobob · twobob

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.' 'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We tr...

jimricho · jimricho

If you receive an email titled Nude Photo of Pauline Hanson DO NOT OPEN IT as it may contain a virus! If you receive an email titled Nude Photo of Julia Gillard DO NOT OPEN IT as may contain a nude photo of Julia Gillard!

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt.. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! ' And they say blon...

Firefly · Firefly

At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery ( Tasmania ), Tooheys ( New South Wales ), XXXX ( Queensland ), CUB ( Victoria ) and Coopers ( South Australia ) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch. When the waitress asked what the...

twobob · twobob

when will it end!!! I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to P*ss off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!

jimricho · jimricho

WARNING; DON'T "DE-SPOONERISE" IF NAUGHTY WORDS OFFEND! In Memory Of A Great Man, The Late Ronnie Barker This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a sn igger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one comp...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of LakeBurley Griffin in Canberra. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand howyou can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same sizeas kids. I just don't get it.' 'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been ea...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money. He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane That will teac...

Firefly · Firefly

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy Marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems By taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the Beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-si...

Firefly · Firefly

Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.... as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts...

jimricho · jimricho

The NSW Government and the NSW Greens party were recently presenting an alternative method to NSW Farmers for controlling that States rampant dingo population. It seems that after years of the farmers using the tried and true traditional methods of shooting or trapping the predators, the tree-h...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	The Bull (Preview) Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sis...	Firefly	2	1202	03:45 PM Nov 7, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Baked Beans (Preview) One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up baked beans. Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I woul...	Firefly	2	1201	09:45 PM Nov 5, 2009 by Firefly
	60 plus deodorant. (Preview) For Seniors 60 plus deodorant. I got this new deodorant today. The instructions said "remove cap and push up bottom". I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells awesome!	jimricho	2	1151	05:53 PM Nov 5, 2009 by Disco Duck
	the junior conductor (Preview) A mother was working in the kitchen, listening to her five-year-old son playing with his new electric train set in the living room.. She heard the train stop and her son saying, 'All of You b***ds who want off, get off now, 'cos we're in a hurry! And all of you b***ds who are getting on, get on now, 'cos...	twobob	1	1033	05:51 PM Nov 5, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Stay Calm (Preview) A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3 year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit, cereal and pop in the other aisles. Meanwhile, Gramps is wor...	Disco Duck	0	954	01:06 PM Nov 4, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Didn't Quite Understand? (Preview) Two cattle drovers were standing in an Outback bar. One asked, "What are ya up to, mate?" "Ahh, I'm takin' a mob of 6000 from Goondiwindi to Gympie." "Oh yeah . and what route are you takin'?" "Ah, prob'ly the Missus ... after all, she stuck by me durin' the drough...	Disco Duck	0	1139	12:58 PM Nov 4, 2009 by Disco Duck
	Grizzly Bears (Preview) -- Edited by Firefly on Monday 2nd of November 2009 03:44:34 PM	Firefly	0	878	04:42 PM Nov 2, 2009 by Firefly
	The Womens Remote (Preview)	Firefly	0	1086	12:45 PM Nov 2, 2009 by Firefly
	Bugs Bunny (Preview) A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman, 'Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?' The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves. The following night the rabbit returns and again a...	Wombat 280	1	1405	06:05 PM Nov 1, 2009 by jimricho
	God of Golf (Preview) A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration. 'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.' 'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We tr...	twobob	0	903	08:45 PM Oct 30, 2009 by twobob
	Important!!...Virus Warning...Nude photos (Preview) If you receive an email titled Nude Photo of Pauline Hanson DO NOT OPEN IT as it may contain a virus! If you receive an email titled Nude Photo of Julia Gillard DO NOT OPEN IT as may contain a nude photo of Julia Gillard!	jimricho	0	1349	08:20 PM Oct 30, 2009 by jimricho
	Its a man thing (Preview) One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat-shirt.. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?' He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! ' And they say blon...	Gary and Kerry	1	1107	02:38 PM Oct 30, 2009 by JRH
	A Queensland Joke. (Preview) At a national conference of the Australian Hotels Association, the general managers of Cascade Brewery ( Tasmania ), Tooheys ( New South Wales ), XXXX ( Queensland ), CUB ( Victoria ) and Coopers ( South Australia ) found themselves sitting at the same table for lunch. When the waitress asked what the...	Firefly	2	1576	01:49 PM Oct 30, 2009 by biggles
	Charity (Preview) when will it end!!! I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to P*ss off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!	twobob	2	1171	09:51 PM Oct 29, 2009 by robert and esther
	Rindercella and her sugly isters (Preview) WARNING; DON'T "DE-SPOONERISE" IF NAUGHTY WORDS OFFEND! In Memory Of A Great Man, The Late Ronnie Barker This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a sn igger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one comp...	jimricho	9	4258	04:31 PM Oct 27, 2009 by dave06
	Losing Weight (Preview) Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of LakeBurley Griffin in Canberra. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand howyou can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same sizeas kids. I just don't get it.' 'Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been ea...	Wombat 280	0	1222	11:43 AM Oct 26, 2009 by Wombat 280
	University of Life (Preview) A young jackaroo from outback Queensland goes off to university, but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money. He calls home. 'Dad,' he says, 'you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Brisbane That will teac...	Wombat 280	0	1119	11:15 AM Oct 26, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Murder At Woolworths (Preview) Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy Marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems By taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the Beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-si...	Firefly	2	1018	11:51 PM Oct 23, 2009 by ElBe
	Travellers (Preview) Bob Hill and his new wife Betty were vacationing in Europe.... as it happens, near Transylvania . They were driving in a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late and raining very hard. Bob could barely see the road in front of the car. Suddenly the car skids out of control! Bob attempts...	Firefly	2	1306	11:45 PM Oct 23, 2009 by ElBe
	Greenies n dingoes (Preview) The NSW Government and the NSW Greens party were recently presenting an alternative method to NSW Farmers for controlling that States rampant dingo population. It seems that after years of the farmers using the tried and true traditional methods of shooting or trapping the predators, the tree-h...	jimricho	1	1263	07:03 PM Oct 23, 2009 by Disco Duck
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