SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.
COMMUNISM
The State takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
The State takes both and sells you some milk..
NAZISM
The State takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away...
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later,
you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.
ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank,then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four
cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company
secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you
with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market
it
worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk
themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine
productivity. You
arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You worship them.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy....
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
The one on the left looks very attractive
