John O'Riley was a member of an all male, Irish Toast Masters Club. One evening at the local Irish Toast Masters meeting, a contest was held to see who could deliver the best toast.

Well, John O'Riley won the contest with the following verse: "Here's to the best years o' me life, spent between the legs o' me wife."

When O'Riley arrived home, his beautiful wife asked him how the meeting went and he said, "I won the contest for the best toast of the evening." His wife then asked him what his toast was, and he said: "Here's to the best years o' me life, spent in Church wi' me darlin' wife." His wife said, "Why John, that was so nice of you to include me in your toast."

The next morning, Mrs. O'Riley was downtown shopping and ran into the local policeman who was also at the Toast Masters meeting. "Hello, Mrs. O'Riley", he said with a mischievous smile, "that was some toast that your husband John gave at the Toast Masters meeting last evening. He won first prize."

"Yes, that's right," said Mrs. O'Riley, "but he really wasn't quite honest with the facts. He's only ever been there twice. The first time he fell asleep and the second time I had to pull him by the ears to get him to come."