check out our comfortable cushions check out the new remote control Jockey Wheel SmartBar
Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: The Test


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1856
Date:
The Test


THE JEWISH WEDDING TEST 

I was a very happy man.

My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.

so we decided to get married. 

There was only one little thing bothering me. 

It was her beautiful younger sister, Rachel. 

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight mini

skirts, and generally was Bra-less. 

She would regularly bend down when she was near me.

I always got more than a nice view. 

It had to be deliberate.

she never did it around anyone else. 

One day she called me and asked me to come over.

'To check my Sister's wedding- invitations' she said. 

She was alone when I arrived.

She whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me.

She couldn't overcome them anymore. 

She told  me that she wanted me just once before I got married. 

She said "Before you commit your life to my sister".

Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn't say a word

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom" she said.

"if you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me". 

I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. 

I stood there for a moment.

Then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door.

I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car. 

Oh Lord And Behold. My entire future family was standing outside, all clapping. 

With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me.

He said, 'Sheldon, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.

We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter.

Welcome to the family my son..' 

And so, the moral of this story is: 

Always keep your condoms in your car.

 


__________________

Cheers Craig



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 555
Date:

My condoms, are always in my car, in the first aid box, they have two uses, one you know, the other for if their is an accident and digit gets chopped off, and that reason my friends is why my wife allows me to keep them in the car.

__________________
Ric


Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 5242
Date:

Ric I'm uncertain whether you jest - Latex finger stalls would be more appropriate, unless married to Lorena Bobbitt.

A finger cot (also finger frock or finger stall, informally finger condom) is a medical device used to cover one or more fingers in situations where a full glove seems unnecessary. Like medical and rubber gloves, finger cots may be made from a variety of water-tight materials including latex, nitrile rubber, and vinyl.
A toe protector or toe cap is very similar, but shorter and of greater diameter. 



-- Edited by Possum3 on Thursday 22nd of April 2021 08:43:48 PM

__________________

Possum; AKA:- Ali El-Aziz Mohamed Gundawiathan

Sent from my imperial66 typewriter using carrier pigeon, message sticks and smoke signals.



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1856
Date:

More than handy , fill with water, prop on top of door in a shared accommodation building, then knock on said door and await your former mate to exit.

__________________

Cheers Craig



Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 267
Date:

I'm not recommending this, and I've never (cough) ever done it but I've heard that back in the 70's and 80's panel beaters and spraypainters would light the gas welding set and adjust it properly, then stub the flame out quickly before the tip got too hot. A condom or party balloon is then inflated to large pumpkin size and tied off. Masking tape and a strip of newspaper are then used as a wick/ time delay fuse. Way louder than a 12ga shotgun and will sometimes drop flouros out of the ceiling. I remember when one of these contraptions was slipped under a workshop toilet door.

__________________

I reserve the right to arm bears :)



Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 61
Date:


Hmmm... "inflated to large pumpkin size"... "slipped under a workshop toilet door"...

Is it just me, or.......?



-- Edited by Mattt on Friday 23rd of April 2021 09:32:43 AM

__________________

 

Cheers, Mattt.

 



Guru

Status: Offline
Posts: 1856
Date:

Matt, lots of dunny doors were almost only half a door, so the skulker could easily be seen. Probably not PC nc or any other b c these days

__________________

Cheers Craig

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.

Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us
Purchase Grey Nomad bumper stickers Read our daily column, the Nomad News The Grey Nomad's Guidebook