A bloke was sick of his wife's constant nagging, plus he had a good thing going on the side with the local barmaid. Aware that his wife had a lot of life insurance, the smart move might be to get rid of her permanently.

He confided his plan with a drinking mate who said that 'he knew a bloke' - the rough looking character who drinks at that pub sometimes, "Big Artie," would be the person to talk to.

A day or so later they found Big Artie in the bar. After some hedging around, a contract on the wife was discussed. Artie promised that for $10,000, she would disappear. How soon did his client want the job done? How about now? All the husband had on him was $5. He would come up with the rest when the wife's  insurance money came through. Artie was desperate, he owed money to his dealers everywhere, some in the Mob. He had to take the risk, so deal on. The husband told Artie that he had dropped the wife off at the supermarket fifteen minutes ago.

Armed with her photo, Artie found the woman In Woolllies, down the back corner in Fresh Fruit and Vegetables.

There was nobody else about. Artie walked straight up and strangled her. No sooner had her body hit the floor, than the Section Manager appeared . . Artie grabbed him and strangled him too. In a stroke of worse luck for Artie, just then a copper walked into Fruit and Veg. He summed up the scene, drew his gun and the unlucky Artie was arrested.

The headlines on the ABC later that day:

"Breaking News . . . Today in Woolworths Fruit and Vegetables . . . . . Artie chokes two for five dollars."