Often across the suburban street during these fights, everyone could hear David shout When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!

He was one of those people that everyone in the neighbourhood secretly was afraid of that tried to be nice. David knew that people feared him and did everything he could to continue to put the fear into his neighbours. To everyones relief, he died of a heart attack when he was 98, and his wife had a closed casket at the funeral.

After the burial, her neighbours, concerned for her safety, asked: Arent you afraid that he may indeed be able to dig his way out of the grave and haunt you for the rest of your life?

Karen just smiled and said, Let him dig. I had him buried upside down, and I know he wont ask for directions.

=-===================================

Jane was cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband, Edward, ran into the room. He saw the eggs and gasped in horror.

Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!

Jane was startled at her husbands violent reaction and dashed to the fridge to get some butter.

Youre cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! Edward bellowed.

Concerned about her husbands mental state, Jane forgot about the butter and ran to the eggs.

WE NEED BUTTER! Are you CRAZY??? Where are we going to get the butter? Theyre going to stick! HURRY!

Startled Jane ran to the fri-

Edward just wouldnt stop. He screamed CAREFUL about the eggs! CAREFUL. You NEVER listen to me when youre cooking! Never! Turn them quickly! Oh not that quickly, dont you know how to cook? Are you insane? Turn the EGGS!

At this point, Jane stopped cooking since she had no idea what to do.

She shouted, What is WRONG with you? I know how to cook eggs!

Edward only smiled and replied, I just wanted to show you what it feels like while Im driving with you in the car, and leaves.