The room was full of pregnant women with their husbands. The instructor said, Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make delivery that much easier. Just pace yourself, make plenty of stops and try to stay on a soft surface like grass or a path.
Gentlemen, remember you're in this together. It wouldn't hurt you to go walking with her. In fact, that shared experience would be good for you both.
The room became very quiet as the men absorbed and pondered this information.
After a few moments a man at the back of the room, slowly raised his hand. Yes? asked the instructor.
The man asks, I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carried a golf bag?
This level of sensitivity just cant be taught, can it? .
Father's Cause of Death
A very respectable lawyer was filing some insurance papers when he came to the question: "If your father is dead, state the cause of death."
Unwilling to reveal that his father had been hanged for cattle rustling, the lawyer evaded the problem by answering:
"He died while taking part in a public ceremony when the platform gave way."
Winning Tag
A blonde goes into a coffee shop and notices there peel and win sticker on her coffee cup. So she peels it off and starts screaming, I've won a motorhome! I've won a motorhome!
The waitress says, that's impossible. The biggest prize is a free Lunch. But the blonde keeps on screaming, Ive won a motorhome! Ive won a motorhome!
Finally, the manager comes over and says, Maam, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome because we didn't have that as a prize.
The blonde says, No, its not a mistake. I've won a motorhome! And she hands the ticket to the manager and HE reads...W I N A B A G E L.
First Week of School
A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm wasting my time," she said to her mother.
"I can't read, I can't write - and they won't let me talk!"