My husband and I were dressed and ready to go out for a lovely evening of dinner and theater.
Having been burgled in the past, we turned on a 'night light' and the answering machine, then put the cat in the backyard.
When our cab arrived, we walked out our front door and our rather tubby cat scooted between our legs inside, then ran up the stairs. Because our cat likes to chase our budgie we really didn't want to leave them un-chaperoned so my husband ran inside to retrieve her and put her in the back yard again.
Because I didn't want the taxi driver to know our house was going to be empty all evening, I explained to him that my husband would be out momentarily as he was just bidding goodnight to my mother.
A few minutes later he got into the cab all hot and bothered, and said (to my growing horror and amusement) as the cab pulled away.
"Sorry it took so long but the stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and i had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off so I grabbed her by the neck and wrapped her in a blanket so she wouldn't scratch me like she did last time. But it worked! I hauled her fat arse down the stairs and threw her into the backyard....she had better not **** in the vegetable garden again."
The silence in the taxi was deafening....
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Age does not weary us, makes us go travelling more
I would not dismiss it as total rubbish. I don't know what the comment was going to be but perhaps it was something along the lines of .....
"Taxi drivers are mostly a bunch of (insert derogatory adjective and race) who would not know the lingo anyway."
Under the old scheme, if no "victim" came forward, the police could not pursue prosecution (no incitement of violence, etc). If you (a non victim) made a complaint about it, the police could not pursue the case. Under the new legislation, you could report it to the police who could then take action and charge the author (however unlikely in this case).
The other huge difference is that under the old legislation, it was up to the victim to complain and then pursue the case. At a conciliation hearing, maybe an apology would be enough to stop the proceedings. Under the new legislation, the decision on whether to proceed is made by the police/prosecutor. The DPP now own the case and it has become an adversial King vs person.
But this is the Jokes forum and I thought Southern Cruizer posted a good one. No more from me here.
-- Edited by Are We Lost on Friday 6th of February 2026 12:12:59 PM
