Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday, and the priest nearly fell over - Murphy had never been to church in his entire life.

After Mass, the priest caught up to him. "Murphy, I'm so glad you came! What brought you here?

"Murphy said, "Well, Father... I misplaced me hat, and I really love that hat. I knew McGlynn had one just like it, and he comes to church every Sunday. I figured he'd take it off during Mass and leave it in the back. So I planned to slip out after Communion and steal McGlynn's hat."

The priest raised an eyebrow. "But you didn't steal it. What changed your mind?"

Murphy said, "After hearing your sermon on the Ten Commandments, I realised I didn't need to steal McGlynn's hat."

With a tear in his eye, the priest smiled. "Ah... so when I preached 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' you decided you'd rather go without a hat than burn in Hell?"

Murphy shook his head. "No, Father. When you talked about 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery'... I remembered where I left me hat."