Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A teenager approached his grandmother nervously and asked her a question.Granny, have you seen a bottle of pills lying around? The label says LSD, he asked.The grandmother swung around quickly as the boy prepared to be scolded.To hell with the pills! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.His bookkeeper is deaf.That was the reason he got the job in the first place.It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court.When the Godfather goes to confront Guido abo...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Mrs. Donovan was walking down OConnell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.The Father said, Top o the mornin To ye! Arent ye Mrs. Donovan And didnt I marry ye and yer Hoosband two years ago?She replied, Aye, that ye did, Father.The Father asked, And be there Any wee little ones yet?She...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.He said with excitement, "you appear quite elderly to be driving.""Well, y...

Magnarc · Magnarc

Cyclist riding along the towpath finds the nude body of a man with a Weetbix protruding from his anus. Police are looking for a cereal killer. -- Edited by Magnarc on Tuesday 2nd of September 2025 07:29:01 AM

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Half price fare.An airline introduced a half-price fare for women accompanying their husbands on business trips.Expecting valuable testimonials, the airline wrote to all of the wives whod used the special rate, asking them if they enjoyed their trip.Letters are still pouring in asking, What tr...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

And you thought you'd out smarted them Authorities found a Nigerian man dead in his apartment surrounded by more than $17billon US in cash. Seems he'd been trying to give it away for yrs but no one would reply to his emails

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An old man at the end of a jetty was selling seagulls $2.50 for one, or three for five bucks.A curious tourist approached him and said, Ill take one, please, before handing over his money.The old man pocketed the money, pointed up to the sky and said: See that one there? Thats your one.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Man driving up windy country road.Woman driving down windy country road.As cars pass each other woman yells out window; "PIG!"Man retorts "BITCH!"Man rounds next curve and the man crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road, and dies.Thought for the day; IF MEN WOULD JUST LISTEN.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

rgren2 · rgren2

rgren2 · rgren2

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A mother thinks there is something strange about her son so she has a DNA test done in secret.After a long, nervous few days of waiting, the results finally come back.She is shocked to find out that her son is not actually related to her or her husband at all.With a heavy heart, she approaches her husband...

Dick0 · Dick0

rgren2 · rgren2

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The Bicycle RideI went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.It turned out to be a very go...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

From work it out yourself or else to Kumbaya and mental illnessI think this chronological progression of our education system is brilliantTeaching Maths from the 1950s to Today1. Teaching Maths in the 1950s ...A forester sells a lorryload of timber for $100His cost of production is 4/5 of the price...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Fiona, a little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor Paddy and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Paddy asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"Fiona says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A teenager.. (Preview) A teenager approached his grandmother nervously and asked her a question.Granny, have you seen a bottle of pills lying around? The label says LSD, he asked.The grandmother swung around quickly as the boy prepared to be scolded.To hell with the pills! Have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?!	aussie_paul	0	525	09:53 PM Sep 3, 2025 by aussie_paul
	What money.. (Preview) A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.His bookkeeper is deaf.That was the reason he got the job in the first place.It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would never have to testify in court.When the Godfather goes to confront Guido abo...	aussie_paul	0	509	09:51 PM Sep 3, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Mrs. Donovan.. (Preview) Mrs. Donovan was walking down OConnell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.The Father said, Top o the mornin To ye! Arent ye Mrs. Donovan And didnt I marry ye and yer Hoosband two years ago?She replied, Aye, that ye did, Father.The Father asked, And be there Any wee little ones yet?She...	aussie_paul	0	436	09:46 PM Sep 3, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Elderly Lady. (Preview) My neighbor was working in his yard when he was startled by a late model car that came crashing through his hedge and ended up in his front lawn.He rushed to help an elderly lady driver out of the car and sat her down on a lawn chair.He said with excitement, "you appear quite elderly to be driving.""Well, y...	aussie_paul	0	425	09:40 PM Sep 3, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Breaking news! (Preview) Cyclist riding along the towpath finds the nude body of a man with a Weetbix protruding from his anus. Police are looking for a cereal killer. -- Edited by Magnarc on Tuesday 2nd of September 2025 07:29:01 AM	Magnarc	0	635	07:28 AM Sep 2, 2025 by Magnarc
	Dangerous sports.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	447	10:30 PM Sep 1, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Half price fare.. (Preview) Half price fare.An airline introduced a half-price fare for women accompanying their husbands on business trips.Expecting valuable testimonials, the airline wrote to all of the wives whod used the special rate, asking them if they enjoyed their trip.Letters are still pouring in asking, What tr...	aussie_paul	0	463	10:29 PM Sep 1, 2025 by aussie_paul
	And you thought.. (Preview) And you thought you'd out smarted them Authorities found a Nigerian man dead in his apartment surrounded by more than $17billon US in cash. Seems he'd been trying to give it away for yrs but no one would reply to his emails	aussie_paul	0	427	10:24 PM Sep 1, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Email.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	430	10:23 PM Sep 1, 2025 by aussie_paul
	An old man.. (Preview) An old man at the end of a jetty was selling seagulls $2.50 for one, or three for five bucks.A curious tourist approached him and said, Ill take one, please, before handing over his money.The old man pocketed the money, pointed up to the sky and said: See that one there? Thats your one.	aussie_paul	0	428	10:19 PM Sep 1, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Short story... (Preview) Man driving up windy country road.Woman driving down windy country road.As cars pass each other woman yells out window; "PIG!"Man retorts "BITCH!"Man rounds next curve and the man crashes into a huge pig in the middle of the road, and dies.Thought for the day; IF MEN WOULD JUST LISTEN.	aussie_paul	0	400	10:18 PM Sep 1, 2025 by aussie_paul
	While in China.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	430	05:56 PM Sep 1, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Coupla funnies. (Preview)	rgren2	0	651	10:26 AM Aug 29, 2025 by rgren2
	Coffee (Preview)	rgren2	0	585	10:10 PM Aug 28, 2025 by rgren2
	DNA test.. (Preview) A mother thinks there is something strange about her son so she has a DNA test done in secret.After a long, nervous few days of waiting, the results finally come back.She is shocked to find out that her son is not actually related to her or her husband at all.With a heavy heart, she approaches her husband...	aussie_paul	0	548	12:23 PM Aug 28, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Vacancy (Preview)	Dick0	0	640	06:58 PM Aug 27, 2025 by Dick0
	Transfender (Preview)	rgren2	0	590	11:50 PM Aug 26, 2025 by rgren2
	The Bicycle Ride.. (Preview) The Bicycle RideI went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break.So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home.It turned out to be a very go...	aussie_paul	0	541	10:09 PM Aug 26, 2025 by aussie_paul
	From work it out yourself.. (Preview) From work it out yourself or else to Kumbaya and mental illnessI think this chronological progression of our education system is brilliantTeaching Maths from the 1950s to Today1. Teaching Maths in the 1950s ...A forester sells a lorryload of timber for $100His cost of production is 4/5 of the price...	aussie_paul	0	556	10:06 PM Aug 26, 2025 by aussie_paul
	Fiona.. (Preview) Fiona, a little silver-haired lady calls her neighbor Paddy and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started." Paddy asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"Fiona says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster...	aussie_paul	0	520	10:00 PM Aug 26, 2025 by aussie_paul
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