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Weighing..
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A gorgeous...
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A priest
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A priest appears at the gate to hell. Surprised, because priests were rare in hell, a demon gets curious and jumps into the priest's path."How'd you die?" he thunders at him. The priest replied, "I had a heart attack." Demon: "Alright, what happened?" Priest: "Someone broke my windows, popped the ti...
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Things [NOT] to do when seeing Lord of the Rings
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1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait! Where is Harry Potter?" 2. Block the entrance to the theatre while screaming, "YOU.....SHALL....NOT..... PASS!" 3. Ask everyone around you if they think Gandalf went to Hogwarts. 4. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mis...
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Gundog
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357
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The Lazy Worker..
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If you've ever worked for a boss who reacts before getting the facts andthinking things through, you will love this!Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy...
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Trust...
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EV
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OK
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A man in a bar starts talking to a prostitute... He says "how much for a hand job?" She says, it's $250. He says,"$250 for a lousy hand job? That's crazy! She says, "Honey, follow me" and takes him outside. "See that Ferrari? I bought that Ferrari just with money from hand jobs. I give the best in the world...
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This is beyond classic! .... Enjoy!
(Preview)
PERFECTIONA man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. Hegets into the taxi and the cabbie says, Perfect timing. Youre justlike Frank.Passenger: Who?Cabbie: Frank Feldman. Hes a guy who did everything right all thetime. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened l...
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Desert island..
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A man is stranded on a desert island for 10 years.One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wetsuit.Man: "Hi! I am so happy to see you."Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here a long time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"Man: "It's been 10 years!"...With this information the girl un...
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Paddy again..
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Paddy Murphy suspects that Mrs Murphy is doing the jiggerypokery with Declan O'Toole from next door.Deciding to catch her at it, Paddy tells her he's working late when he leaves in the morning.That evening Paddy was hiding in the bushes over the road from his house, and sure enough, shortly after dar...
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Boots
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Southern Cruizer
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369
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More funnies..
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What is good about Australia by a Yank !!
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What is good about Australia by a Yank !!This Bloke Sure Is Spot On with His readings.David Mason is a Writer, a Professor, and a Poet Laureate from Colorado, USAThere's a lot to admire about Australia, especially if you're a visiting American, says David Mason.More often than you might expect, Aust...
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SCHOOL - 1950s v 2016..
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SCHOOL - 1950s v 2016Scenario :Johnny and Mark get into a fight after school.1950s - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends.2016 - Police called, and they arrest Johnny and Mark & charge them with assault.Both expelled even though Johnny started it.Both ch...
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Headache..
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Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone.""No more headaches?" The husband ...asks, "What happened?"His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repe...
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More Just Joking
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My apologies if these have been posted in the past. -- Edited by Dick0 on Saturday 2nd of August 2025 09:43:46 PM
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THE MUSHROOMS
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The Wife wanted to serve her guests mushroom-smothered steak,But she had no mushrooms and no time to buy them.I suggested, "Why don't you go pick some of the mushrooms that are growing wild down by the stream?"No, She said, some wild mushrooms are poisonous.""Well, I see squirrels eating them and th...
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Dining etiquette..
(Preview)
An Australian, and Englishman and an American are on a cruise with their wives.Sitting at breakfast the first morning, the Englishman sets our to impress his neighbours with his affection for his wife.He says, "Would you please pass the honey, Honey?"With this the American chimes in, "Can you pass...
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Dining etiquette..
(Preview)
An Australian, and Englishman and an American are on a cruise with their wives.Sitting at breakfast the first morning, the Englishman sets our to impress his neighbours with his affection for his wife.He says, "Would you please pass the honey, Honey?"With this the American chimes in, "Can you pass...
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