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Room 858..
(Preview)
A hotel guest calls the front desk from his room on the eighth floor.The call is picked up by the clerk on the reception desk.The clerk answers,"May I help you?"The man says,"Yes, I'm in room 858""You need to send someone to my room immediately""What seems to be the problem sir?"Asks the clerk,"I'm ha...
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aussie_paul
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446
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Metric vs Imperial
(Preview)
Some students were discussing the various merits of the metric and imperial systems of measurement. The first chap favoured imperial and said that he preferred the traditional imperial system and that 6 inches sounded quite impressive. The second chap said that 15 centimetres sounded far more...
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Whenarewethere
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1
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530
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Donald..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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3
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518
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Prostate..
(Preview)
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0
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441
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FINALLY..
(Preview)
A GOOD TRUMP JOKE THAT ALL WILL ENJOY!Donald is walking out of the White House and heading toward his limo, when a possible assassin steps forward and aims a gun.A secret service agent, new on the job, shouts "Mickey Mouse!" This startles the would be assassin and he is captured.Later, the secret serv...
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aussie_paul
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422
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Cooking lesson..
(Preview)
Cooking lesson.One day a little girl was watching her mother make a roast beef. She cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it and set it in the roasting pan.The little girl asked her mother why she cut the ends of the roast off.The mother replied, after some thought, that it was the way that her m...
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aussie_paul
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365
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AVOCADOS..
(Preview)
Some wife jokes. AVOCADOSA wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk"He replied, "They had avocados."If you'...
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aussie_paul
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0
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343
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Only in Campbelltown
(Preview)
Only in Campbelltown..... youre not going to believe what just happened we pulled up to get some fuel, and we noticed these two police officers watching a woman who was smoking while pumping petrol. I thought, "This Lady isnt the sharpest tool in the shed, and with the cops right there too.Anyway, I we...
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aussie_paul
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0
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331
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Dangerous..
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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0
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343
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They call us "The Elderly"
(Preview)
We were born in the 40-50-60s.We grew up in the 50-60-70's.We studied in the 60-70-80's.We were dating in the 70-80-90's.We got married and discovered the world in the 70-80-90's.We venture into the 80-90s.We stabilize in the 2000s.We got wiser in the 2010s.And we are going firmly through and beyo...
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1
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461
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lol..
(Preview)
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0
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356
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Thunderbox - " The Good Old Days?"
(Preview)
Thunderbox - " The Good Old Days?"They were funny looking buildings, that were once a way of life,If you couldn't sprint the distance, then you really were in strife.They were nailed, they were wired, but were mostly falling down,There was one in every yard, in every house, in every town.They were gi...
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aussie_paul
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0
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350
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How bad is what??
(Preview)
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329
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Willis carrier..
(Preview)
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315
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An old married couple..
(Preview)
An old married couple have just watched a documentary program about what happens to elderly people enduring a long and difficult decline towards death.Well, that makes you think, doesnt it dear? he says.Well what are you thinking? she asks.He sighs. Promise me that if ever I am dependent upon a mach...
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aussie_paul
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0
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372
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Never text a confession..
(Preview)
Never text a confessionTHE CONFESSIONHi Bob, This is Alan next door. Im sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling in text as I cant live with myself...
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aussie_paul
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0
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350
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t’s frightening true..
(Preview)
Its frightening true.Surgery- not joking much...Boy, if this doesn't hit the nail on the head, I don't know what does!..Two patients limp into two different medical clinics with the same complaint.Both have trouble walking and appear to require a hip replacement.The FIRST patient is examined wi...
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aussie_paul
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478
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What would you rather have..
(Preview)
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376
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On Line Dating..
(Preview)
On Line DatingA man was feeling lonely, so after much contemplation, he posted an ad on a popular website.The ad said, simply: Wife wanted.He was surprised the next morning to find he had over a hundred replies in his inbox.Unfortunately, they all said the same thing: You can have mine.
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aussie_paul
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0
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351
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A group of Victorians..
(Preview)
A group of Victorians were travelling by Tour Bus through Hervey Bay.As they stopped at the Dairy Co-Op, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goats' milk was used.She showed the group a lovely hillside where many goats were grazing."These", she explained, "A...
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aussie_paul
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347
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