|
Harrods..
(Preview)
A lady walks into Harrods. She looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts.Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woops and prays that a sales person was not an...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
539
|
|
|
|
|
Wow..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
320
|
|
|
|
|
Winners are grinners.
(Preview)
|
rgren2
|
1
|
651
|
|
|
|
|
Divorce..
(Preview)
A man in Sydney calls his son in Perth the day before Christmas and says,I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough. Pop, what are you talking about? the son screams. We cant stand the sight of each other any longer, the father sa...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
545
|
|
|
|
|
Up or down
(Preview)
At a Senior Citizen's luncheon, an elderly gentleman and an elderly lady struck up a conversation and discovered that they both loved to fish. Since both of them were widowed, they decided to go fishing together the next day.The gentleman picked the lady up, and they headed to the river to his fishing...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
342
|
|
|
|
|
Mentioned in the will..
(Preview)
Doug was writing his last will and testament in his nursing home. He was surrounded by his wife, his three daughters and his nurses.Slowly he went through each family member and told them what they stand to inherit, after he has passed away.My daughters, each of you will take my offices in the city, my a...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
299
|
|
|
|
|
Answered prayers..
(Preview)
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
296
|
|
|
|
|
First Aid
(Preview)
|
Dick0
|
1
|
672
|
|
|
|
|
Lonesome?..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
552
|
|
|
|
|
Pirate..
(Preview)
A Pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, Hey, I havent seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.What do you mean? said the Pirate, I feel fine.What about the wooden leg? You didnt have that before.Arr, well, said the Pirate, We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but Im...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
493
|
|
|
|
|
Stoned..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
1
|
625
|
|
|
|
|
lol..
(Preview)
He Slept With a Widow Using His Friends Name. Sixteen Months Later? Oops!Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jacks station-wagon and headed north.After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attract...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
642
|
|
|
|
|
Should I..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
425
|
|
|
|
|
oops..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
429
|
|
|
|
|
lol..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
389
|
|
|
|
|
Birds.
(Preview)
In cricket you get a Duck. In football you get a Fowl. "Licence taken with the spelling" In Golf you get a birdie and an Eagle. What do you get in Bowls? For those who don't get it, see this space tomorrow. For those who do, well done!
|
Magnarc
|
5
|
678
|
|
|
|
|
Choosing friends..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
453
|
|
|
|
|
lol..
(Preview)
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
349
|
|
|
|
|
Drunk and the Priests
(Preview)
A drunk staggers out of a bar and runs into two priests. He looks at the first priest and says, Hey, Im Jesus Christ!The priest replies, No son, youre not.So the drunk goes over to the second priest and says, Hey, Im Jesus Christ! To which the second priest replies, No son, youre not.Finally, the drunk ha...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
333
|
|
|
|
|
Irish Nun..
(Preview)
Irish NunIn Ireland, the 99-year-old Mother Superior lay quietly. She was dying. The Nuns had gathered around her bed, laying garlands around her and trying to make her last journey comfortable.They wanted to give her warm milk to drink but she declined. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitc...
|
aussie_paul
|
0
|
329
|
|
|
