Just Joking

Pete49 · Pete49

His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler approached and coughed discreetly. * "May I ask you a question, My Lord?" "Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship. "I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on." "Wh...

rtv47 · rtv47

SO MANY CATS ? SO FEW RECIPES !!!!!!!

Yarra · Yarra

The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 am, a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started u...

SLUG · SLUG

A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach.As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play...

SLUG · SLUG

An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands . He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian barmaid. As she takes his order, a beer, she notices his accent. Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place. Al...

The Doo crew · The Doo crew

During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

dING · dING

Subject: 50 Sheds today. Men's Shed - We had a novel experience at a recent meeting of our book club at the Men's Shed. One of our senior members, Ted Roberts who is himself an author lauded for his timeless work "Woodworking for Profit and Pleasure", came up with an interesting suggestion....

Yarra · Yarra

Carol, a blonde city girl, marries a Cornish dairy farmer. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Carol, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he...

madaboutled · madaboutled

Regardless of what other peoples rigs are we always wave to all oncoming travelers and most times they wave back. The other day I made an observation that 4 x 4's with boats on top towing caravans rarely wave back when my wife came up with the obvious answer...... "they're boat people"

Cadpete · Cadpete

In a darkened room, peering into a crystal ball, a fortune teller delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt about it. Prepare yourself to be a widow, your husband will die a terrible violent death this year." Visibly shaken, the young woman looked a...

Yarra · Yarra

The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I help you sir?" she asked. The man replied, "I want to see Valerie." "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies...

Yarra · Yarra

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hund...

Hendo · Hendo

Two guys are sitting at a bar. One guy says to the other, "Do you know that lions have sex 10 or 15 times a night?".The other guy says, "Damn, I just joined Rotary."

kiwijims · kiwijims

Drinking on a plane... A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London . After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He rep...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

It was a dark and stormy night (of course) in Bass Strait a hundred years ago and two flashing lights were ominously coming closer and closer, each signalling in Morse Code as radio contact had been lost from lightning static. The first flashing light messaged: Please change your direction 15 degree...

Rob49 · Rob49

Robin Hood lay dying, and all the faithful gathered round. With his weak and fading breath, Robin asked Marion to bring him the best arrow from the quiver beside his bed, and then asked Little John to bring him his bow. He put the arrow to the bow and aimed through the open window into the generous green sw...

Weevil · Weevil

While going through an airport during one of his many trips, A former US President encountered a man with long grey hair and beard, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff. Mr. Bush went up to the man and said, 'Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?' The man didn't answer, and just kept...

Weevil · Weevil

A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agree...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	aplomb (Preview) His Lordship was in the study at Downton Abbey when the butler approached and coughed discreetly. * "May I ask you a question, My Lord?" "Go ahead, Carson ," said His Lordship. "I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on." "Wh...	Pete49	4	808	09:54 AM Jul 12, 2015 by Netco
	cats (Preview) SO MANY CATS ? SO FEW RECIPES !!!!!!!	rtv47	4	851	11:53 PM Jul 11, 2015 by leevin
	Cuckoo clock (Preview) The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls'. I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 am, a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started u...	Yarra	1	965	04:05 PM Jul 10, 2015 by Netco
	what kids come up with (Preview) A mother and father take their 6-year old son to a nude beach.As the boy walks along the sand, he notices that many of the women have boobs bigger than his mother's, so he goes back to ask her why.She tells her son, 'The bigger they are, the sillier the lady is.'The boy, pleased with the answer, goes to play...	SLUG	3	965	11:21 AM Jul 10, 2015 by Ontos45
	some times it pays (Preview) An Australian guy is travelling around the Greek Islands . He walks into a bar and, by chance, is served by an Australian barmaid. As she takes his order, a beer, she notices his accent. Over the course of the evening they get chatting. At the end of her shift he asks if she wants to come back to his place. Al...	SLUG	0	750	08:57 PM Jul 9, 2015 by SLUG
	EX COMMANDO? (Preview) During my physical examination, my doctor asked me about my physical activity level. I described a typical day, "Well, yesterday afternoon, I took a five hour walk about 7 miles through some pretty rough terrain. I waded along the edge of a lake. I pushed my way through brambles. I got...	The Doo crew	1	1123	02:11 PM Jul 6, 2015 by grahos
	Where did I put that pen (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	713	01:14 PM Jul 6, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Anyone for quoits (Preview)	Woody n Sue	0	657	01:09 PM Jul 6, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	50 shades of (Preview) Subject: 50 Sheds today. Men's Shed - We had a novel experience at a recent meeting of our book club at the Men's Shed. One of our senior members, Ted Roberts who is himself an author lauded for his timeless work "Woodworking for Profit and Pleasure", came up with an interesting suggestion....	dING	1	926	01:03 PM Jul 6, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	WHAT'S THE NAIL FOR? (Preview) Carol, a blonde city girl, marries a Cornish dairy farmer. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, farmer John says to Carol, 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the rail above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is when he...	Yarra	2	754	06:12 PM Jul 5, 2015 by JRH
	Its all in the wave (Preview) Regardless of what other peoples rigs are we always wave to all oncoming travelers and most times they wave back. The other day I made an observation that 4 x 4's with boats on top towing caravans rarely wave back when my wife came up with the obvious answer...... "they're boat people"	madaboutled	4	1010	05:25 PM Jul 2, 2015 by Felicia
	Fortune Teller (Preview) In a darkened room, peering into a crystal ball, a fortune teller delivered grave news. "There's no easy way to tell you this, so I'll just be blunt about it. Prepare yourself to be a widow, your husband will die a terrible violent death this year." Visibly shaken, the young woman looked a...	Cadpete	0	717	10:14 PM Jul 1, 2015 by Cadpete
	The Brothel (Preview) The madam opened the brothel door in Winnipeg and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties. "May I help you sir?" she asked. The man replied, "I want to see Valerie." "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies...	Yarra	1	746	09:11 PM Jul 1, 2015 by grahos
	Two Statues (Preview) There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman. They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture, brings the two to life. The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hund...	Yarra	0	700	03:10 PM Jul 1, 2015 by Yarra
	Lions (Preview) Two guys are sitting at a bar. One guy says to the other, "Do you know that lions have sex 10 or 15 times a night?".The other guy says, "Damn, I just joined Rotary."	Hendo	2	1060	09:01 PM Jun 28, 2015 by Netco
	Savaged on a Plane (Preview) Drinking on a plane... A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London . After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He rep...	kiwijims	0	882	11:26 AM Jun 26, 2015 by kiwijims
	An old but good one... (Preview) It was a dark and stormy night (of course) in Bass Strait a hundred years ago and two flashing lights were ominously coming closer and closer, each signalling in Morse Code as radio contact had been lost from lightning static. The first flashing light messaged: Please change your direction 15 degree...	aussie_paul	2	948	12:15 PM Jun 25, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Robin Hood's deathbed (Preview) Robin Hood lay dying, and all the faithful gathered round. With his weak and fading breath, Robin asked Marion to bring him the best arrow from the quiver beside his bed, and then asked Little John to bring him his bow. He put the arrow to the bow and aimed through the open window into the generous green sw...	Rob49	1	1043	11:24 AM Jun 25, 2015 by grahos
	Moses and Bush.... (Preview) While going through an airport during one of his many trips, A former US President encountered a man with long grey hair and beard, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff. Mr. Bush went up to the man and said, 'Has anyone told you that you look like Moses?' The man didn't answer, and just kept...	Weevil	1	1196	11:19 AM Jun 25, 2015 by grahos
	Pig Farmers... (Preview) A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another Farmer who owned five male pigs. After talking a bit, they decided to mate the pigs and split everything 50/50. The farmers lived sixty miles apart. So they agree...	Weevil	1	1157	11:17 AM Jun 25, 2015 by grahos
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