Just Joking

June · June

A man said to his wife one day 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time'. The wife responded 'allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to YOU'.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class, to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I cleaned...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A man returns from his doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this awful prognosis the man asks his wife for a bit of rumpy pumpy.... Naturally she agrees and they make gentle love..... About six hours later the husband goes to his wife and says, "Hon...

Brownie2 · Brownie2

Little Johnny went for a stay on Grandma & Grandpa's farm. First morning Johnny went off with his Pop on the tractor for the day with sandwiches and a thermos of tea for lunch. They were out all day and when they got back Grandpa told Johnny to go into the house while he put the tractor away and did som...

June · June

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the roots and still be afraid of a spider.

petengail · petengail

This short clip may have been around before but I still get a laugh out of it.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSw4CLV14sQ

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

...."WHERE is my SUNDAY PAPER?" .......the very irate elderly lady calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was... "Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on S...

dING · dING

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/25BHem/www.youtube.com/watch%253Fv%253DDOR9-FXdIm0-- Edited by dING o...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A bloke walks menacingly into a crowded Bar, waving his 1911 Colt .45 calibre pistol with an 8 shot clip and yells: "I want to know NOW who's been screwing my wife??" A voice from the back of the room called out......... "You'll need more ammo!" 'The world will be a better place...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

A group of very Senior, Senior Citizens were sitting around talking about all their ailments at the Senior, Senior Citz Club... "My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one "Yes I know," said another "My cataracts are so bad, I can't even see my c...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Several men are in the locker room of their Golf Club. A cellular phone on the bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. All the other blokes in the room stop to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the Club?" MAN: "...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell"! "I guess I'd better see a Doctor"... "Listen mate, you don't have to spend that kind of money"..Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Aldi's..." &quo...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A bloke who had spent the stint working over seas working turned up at his old pub and sighed with a nostalgically to the barmaid . do you know it's been a full seven years since I last had a beer here . She glared back at him and said Look it's my first night here and I am working as fast as I can which reminds m...

Woody n Sue · Woody n Sue

A seasoned station hand visited his doctor and said : I don't know what's wrong dock but my stomach keeps turning over and over and I feel really bad . hop on the bed here said the doc and I'll give you a through examination after about 10 minuets the doc sighed and said I can't find anything wrong with you b...

george57 · george57

An example of positive attitude..... Late in the night he regained consciousness.... He found himself in agonising pain in the hospital's ICU with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. Slowly he realized he'd been in a serious accident, with...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

<I only recently saw this site and am having a ball posting a few of my favourites I've heard round the camp fire>..trust you enjoy...this is not risque' A Scottish couple took in an 18 year old girl as a lodger. The girl asked if she could take a bath, but the woman of the house told het they don't ha...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Ozzie aged 92 and Nola age 89, living on the Gold Coast, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss their wedding plans and on the way pass a substantial Pharmacy...and Ozzie suggests they go in... Ozzie addresses the Pharmacist behind the counter: 'Are you th...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in, both men had...

Redlander · Redlander

Irish Medical Dictionary Artery: The study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Barium: What you do when patients die. Benign: What you be, after you be eight. Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome. Catscan: Searching for Kitty. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her. Colic: A shee...

Kev-Maz · Kev-Maz

You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water. If it sinks: girl ant If it floats: boy ant

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Beautiful and Stupid (Preview) A man said to his wife one day 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time'. The wife responded 'allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me. God made me stupid so I would be attracted to YOU'.	June	1	1016	09:32 PM Feb 18, 2015 by grahos
	Story from an Irish Sunday School Teacher (Preview) I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class, to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them, If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?' 'NO!' the children answered. 'If I cleaned...	aussie_paul	0	828	06:43 PM Feb 17, 2015 by aussie_paul
	...only 24 hours to live..... (Preview) A man returns from his doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him he has only 24 hours to live. Given this awful prognosis the man asks his wife for a bit of rumpy pumpy.... Naturally she agrees and they make gentle love..... About six hours later the husband goes to his wife and says, "Hon...	Goldfinger	0	790	02:22 PM Feb 17, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Little Johnny (Preview) Little Johnny went for a stay on Grandma & Grandpa's farm. First morning Johnny went off with his Pop on the tractor for the day with sandwiches and a thermos of tea for lunch. They were out all day and when they got back Grandpa told Johnny to go into the house while he put the tractor away and did som...	Brownie2	0	833	02:12 PM Feb 17, 2015 by Brownie2
	Understanding Women - by a man (Preview) I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the roots and still be afraid of a spider.	June	0	759	01:31 PM Feb 15, 2015 by June
	Where did you hide that?!!!!! (Preview) This short clip may have been around before but I still get a laugh out of it.... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSw4CLV14sQ	petengail	1	894	01:25 PM Feb 15, 2015 by The Doo crew
	Dedicated to all us Seniors..... (Preview) ...."WHERE is my SUNDAY PAPER?" .......the very irate elderly lady calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was... "Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on S...	Goldfinger	0	787	11:27 PM Feb 14, 2015 by Goldfinger
	A french TV ad but be aware tis a bit naughty (Preview) http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/25BHem/www.youtube.com/watch%253Fv%253DDOR9-FXdIm0-- Edited by dING o...	dING	1	1215	03:37 PM Feb 14, 2015 by Kaid
	A better gun story! (Preview) A bloke walks menacingly into a crowded Bar, waving his 1911 Colt .45 calibre pistol with an 8 shot clip and yells: "I want to know NOW who's been screwing my wife??" A voice from the back of the room called out......... "You'll need more ammo!" 'The world will be a better place...	Goldfinger	0	941	10:13 AM Feb 12, 2015 by Goldfinger
	At least one silver lining....... (Preview) A group of very Senior, Senior Citizens were sitting around talking about all their ailments at the Senior, Senior Citz Club... "My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one "Yes I know," said another "My cataracts are so bad, I can't even see my c...	Goldfinger	0	804	12:01 PM Feb 11, 2015 by Goldfinger
	The Perfect Husband... (Preview) Several men are in the locker room of their Golf Club. A cellular phone on the bench rings and a man engages the hands-free speaker function and begins to talk. All the other blokes in the room stop to listen. MAN: "Hello" WOMAN: "Hi Honey, it's me. Are you at the Club?" MAN: "...	Goldfinger	0	789	09:32 PM Feb 10, 2015 by Goldfinger
	WoW!..This is what you call an accurate diagnostic computer..... (Preview) One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, "My elbow hurts like hell"! "I guess I'd better see a Doctor"... "Listen mate, you don't have to spend that kind of money"..Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Aldi's..." &quo...	Goldfinger	1	798	06:56 PM Feb 10, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Simple explanation (Preview) A bloke who had spent the stint working over seas working turned up at his old pub and sighed with a nostalgically to the barmaid . do you know it's been a full seven years since I last had a beer here . She glared back at him and said Look it's my first night here and I am working as fast as I can which reminds m...	Woody n Sue	0	674	06:54 PM Feb 10, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Just a matter of time (Preview) A seasoned station hand visited his doctor and said : I don't know what's wrong dock but my stomach keeps turning over and over and I feel really bad . hop on the bed here said the doc and I'll give you a through examination after about 10 minuets the doc sighed and said I can't find anything wrong with you b...	Woody n Sue	0	604	06:42 PM Feb 10, 2015 by Woody n Sue
	Positive Attitude (Preview) An example of positive attitude..... Late in the night he regained consciousness.... He found himself in agonising pain in the hospital's ICU with tubes up his nose, wires monitoring every function, and a gorgeous nurse hovering over him. Slowly he realized he'd been in a serious accident, with...	george57	0	647	05:57 PM Feb 10, 2015 by george57
	Bath Night in Scotland..... (Preview) <I only recently saw this site and am having a ball posting a few of my favourites I've heard round the camp fire>..trust you enjoy...this is not risque' A Scottish couple took in an 18 year old girl as a lodger. The girl asked if she could take a bath, but the woman of the house told het they don't ha...	Goldfinger	0	991	01:54 PM Feb 10, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Senior Wedding....... (Preview) Ozzie aged 92 and Nola age 89, living on the Gold Coast, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss their wedding plans and on the way pass a substantial Pharmacy...and Ozzie suggests they go in... Ozzie addresses the Pharmacist behind the counter: 'Are you th...	Goldfinger	0	723	10:53 AM Feb 10, 2015 by Goldfinger
	The Irish Job Interview.... (Preview) Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based in Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had similar qualifications they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet room with no interruptions by the Manager. When the results were in, both men had...	Goldfinger	0	750	10:36 AM Feb 10, 2015 by Goldfinger
	Irish Medical Dictionary (Preview) Irish Medical Dictionary Artery: The study of paintings. Bacteria: Back door to cafeteria. Barium: What you do when patients die. Benign: What you be, after you be eight. Caesarean Section: A neighbourhood in Rome. Catscan: Searching for Kitty. Cauterize: Made eye contact with her. Colic: A shee...	Redlander	0	812	07:23 AM Feb 10, 2015 by Redlander
	How to work out the sex of ants (Sorry) (Preview) You can tell the sex of an ant by dropping it into a jug of water. If it sinks: girl ant If it floats: boy ant	Kev-Maz	1	680	02:37 PM Feb 9, 2015 by toffee
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