Just Joking

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

.....and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, business trip or plea...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A farmer ordered a hi-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic. Soon, he realized that the equipmen...

Lesley F · Lesley F

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U430rpfjIIQ I've probably posted this before, but it's hysterical.

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous!"WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it ou...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"He replied, "They had avocados." ...

dishlicker · dishlicker

If an intelligent politician, an intelligent woman and the easter bunny get into a lift together and discover a $20 note lying on the floor, who would pick it up? The intelligent woman The other two don 't exist. cheers

Yarra · Yarra

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A beautiful young model boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seats in economy, and then looks into the forward cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empt...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's...

Phillipn · Phillipn

Husband buys his son an iPAD, daughter an iPAD, himself an iPHONE and his wife an iRON. She wasn`t impressed even after he explained it can be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK, and iCLEAN network. This triggered the iNAG service, which totally wiped out the iSHAG function.

Gunsondeck · Gunsondeck

MAORI CONVENTION. 33,000 Maori meet at the Westpac Stadium for a Maori Are Not Stupid convention. Pita Sharples addresses the crowd.. We are all here today to prove to the world that Maori are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please? Hone Harawira gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up...

Young Simmo · Young Simmo

Home Security for Seniors Now that I'm on a fixed income, I've disconnected my home alarm system, turned off my external lights and de-registered from Neighbourhood Watch. I've got two Iraqi flags raised in the front garden, one at each corner, And the black flag of ISIS in the centre. Local police...

Spydermann · Spydermann

Old codger #1. How`s your new Thai bride you found on the internet? Old codger #2. OK, but she keeps leaving the toilet seat up.

Hendo · Hendo

Father walking past his young son's bedroom overhears him saying his prayers. "God bless mummy, god bless daddy, god bless grandma, bye-bye grandpa" He thinks that's a bit strange but thinks nothing more until the next day when his wife rings him at work and tells him the grandpa had just...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

The man said to the dentist. "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to go numb. I just want you to pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 am tee off time at the be...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. "God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France." "Fred," said his father, "why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?" "Because that's what...

Hey Jim · Hey Jim

See, I was correct. Your mind had to read this. PLEASE STAY LARRY. Jim

June · June

A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'low battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal! A Government Survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Australia so that they can see their own do...

nimrod · nimrod

Two Mexicans are lost in the desert after crossing the Rio Grande into the United States. Wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...:"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.""Si, Luis, eet su...

Goldfinger · Goldfinger

I believe this was eventually rejected as one of the design contenders for their new flag.... Its why we form the greatest/tight/packed Rugby scrums in the World...we enjoy it so much.....Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Saturday 17th of October 2015 04:23:48 PM

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	A man boarded an aeroplane ... (Preview) .....and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, business trip or plea...	aussie_paul	0	914	10:44 PM Oct 29, 2015 by aussie_paul
	Read the book first (Preview) A farmer ordered a hi-tech milking machine. Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first. So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic. Soon, he realized that the equipmen...	Young Simmo	0	850	05:45 PM Oct 29, 2015 by Young Simmo
	mrs browns misunderstand about their dog (Preview) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U430rpfjIIQ I've probably posted this before, but it's hysterical.	Lesley F	1	940	09:44 PM Oct 28, 2015 by dishlicker
	Water in the carburettor... (Preview) WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous!"WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it ou...	aussie_paul	1	975	11:44 AM Oct 28, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	Avocados (Preview) A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk. The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"He replied, "They had avocados." ...	aussie_paul	2	954	01:21 AM Oct 28, 2015 by nimrod
	politician (Preview) If an intelligent politician, an intelligent woman and the easter bunny get into a lift together and discover a $20 note lying on the floor, who would pick it up? The intelligent woman The other two don 't exist. cheers	dishlicker	2	1106	10:28 PM Oct 26, 2015 by Baz421
	New Scam Ladies Beware (Preview)	Yarra	2	1079	05:35 PM Oct 26, 2015 by Young Simmo
	I'm not blond, I am grey. (Preview) A beautiful young model boards a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looks at the seats in economy, and then looks into the forward cabin at the first-class seats. Seeing that the first-class seats appear to be much larger and more comfortable, she moves forward to the last empt...	Young Simmo	7	1393	07:17 AM Oct 25, 2015 by 03_Troopy
	I might change my mind about something. (Preview) A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's...	Young Simmo	0	1000	09:06 AM Oct 24, 2015 by Young Simmo
	Ireckon (Preview) Husband buys his son an iPAD, daughter an iPAD, himself an iPHONE and his wife an iRON. She wasn`t impressed even after he explained it can be integrated with the iWASH, iCOOK, and iCLEAN network. This triggered the iNAG service, which totally wiped out the iSHAG function.	Phillipn	0	890	07:54 AM Oct 24, 2015 by Phillipn
	Maori Convention... (Preview) MAORI CONVENTION. 33,000 Maori meet at the Westpac Stadium for a Maori Are Not Stupid convention. Pita Sharples addresses the crowd.. We are all here today to prove to the world that Maori are not stupid. Can I have a volunteer please? Hone Harawira gingerly works his way through the crowd and steps up...	Gunsondeck	16	1953	07:46 PM Oct 23, 2015 by Gunsondeck
	The easy way out. (Preview) Home Security for Seniors Now that I'm on a fixed income, I've disconnected my home alarm system, turned off my external lights and de-registered from Neighbourhood Watch. I've got two Iraqi flags raised in the front garden, one at each corner, And the black flag of ISIS in the centre. Local police...	Young Simmo	0	1001	02:55 PM Oct 23, 2015 by Young Simmo
	The Thai Bride (Preview) Old codger #1. How`s your new Thai bride you found on the internet? Old codger #2. OK, but she keeps leaving the toilet seat up.	Spydermann	0	1072	11:38 PM Oct 22, 2015 by Spydermann
	God Bless (Preview) Father walking past his young son's bedroom overhears him saying his prayers. "God bless mummy, god bless daddy, god bless grandma, bye-bye grandpa" He thinks that's a bit strange but thinks nothing more until the next day when his wife rings him at work and tells him the grandpa had just...	Hendo	0	985	03:54 PM Oct 20, 2015 by Hendo
	Golfers.... (Preview) The man said to the dentist. "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry. I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anaesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to go numb. I just want you to pull the tooth and be done with it. We have a 10:00 am tee off time at the be...	aussie_paul	1	1023	02:51 PM Oct 20, 2015 by Young Simmo
	For the teachers... (Preview) Fred was saying his prayers as his father passed by his bedroom door. "God bless Mommy, and God bless Daddy, and please make Calais the capital of France." "Fred," said his father, "why do you want Calais to be the capital of France?" "Because that's what...	aussie_paul	0	954	11:21 AM Oct 20, 2015 by aussie_paul
	I know how your mind works LARRY (Preview) See, I was correct. Your mind had to read this. PLEASE STAY LARRY. Jim	Hey Jim	1	1078	10:50 PM Oct 19, 2015 by ballast2
	Low Battery (Preview) A man saved his girlfriend's phone number on his mobile as 'low battery'. Whenever she calls him, in his absence, his wife takes the phone and plugs it into the charger. Give that man a medal! A Government Survey has shown that 91% of illegal immigrants come to Australia so that they can see their own do...	June	0	997	07:46 PM Oct 19, 2015 by June
	The bacon Tree (Preview) Two Mexicans are lost in the desert after crossing the Rio Grande into the United States. Wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...:"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk.""Si, Luis, eet su...	nimrod	1	1127	05:38 PM Oct 19, 2015 by Blues Man
	....soooooo... who said we don't enjoy an excellent/close relationship......? (Preview) I believe this was eventually rejected as one of the design contenders for their new flag.... Its why we form the greatest/tight/packed Rugby scrums in the World...we enjoy it so much.....Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Saturday 17th of October 2015 04:23:48 PM	Goldfinger	1	1445	11:29 AM Oct 19, 2015 by 03_Troopy
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