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Good citizen
(Preview)
In the UK recently they had a major road safety campaign. The slogan was "Wear white be seen at night" One of the locals decided to do the right thing so went out and got white shoes, white socks, white trousers, white shirt, white jacket, white tie and white hat. Donned his white togs that nig...
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Magnarc
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2
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1033
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Never tell porkies to a kid
(Preview)
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Woody n Sue
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1
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780
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animal joke
(Preview)
A Giraffe walked up to the bar and said "the highballs are on me" A Termite walked up to the bar and said "Where's the Bartender"
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Plain Truth
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0
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722
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SEX AND GOOD GRAMMAR
(Preview)
On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife.The certificate was for consultation with an Indian medicine man living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a simple cure for erectile dysfunction. The husband went to the reservation and saw the medicine man.The ol...
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Yarra
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2
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1060
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Word Fun......
(Preview)
1....Rearrange these letters to form words: 1. PNEIS 2. BUTTSXE Sooooooooo, did you get 'SPINE'....and 'SUBTEXT'..?...<like I did> What do you mean you didn't.....?......what on earth are you pre-occupied with?.......... 2.Can you name three consecutive days withou...
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Goldfinger
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0
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758
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Prostate exam
(Preview)
Old Arthur went to the urologist for his annual prostate test, when he got to the surgery, the waiting room was filled so he made his way to the receptionist who was not at all attractive, built like a brick dunny & had a personality like a pregnant shark. He went up to her & gave his name. She repli...
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Baggie
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0
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706
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This guy thought his wife was cheating on him
(Preview)
So there is this guy who thinks his wife is cheating on him, so one night he waits for her to leave then follows her in a taxi, only to find she is working in a brothel. So he says to the taxi driver " do you want to make $100 " sure says the driver what do I have to do. Just go in to the brothel and grab my...
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Woody n Sue
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0
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859
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The Sunday school teacher
(Preview)
The lady was a southern woman who attended church services and taught Sunday School every week. One Sunday, an out of town acquaintance, a gentleman, was in the pew right behind her. He noted what a fine looking woman she was. While they were taking up the collection, the man leaned forward and said, ?H...
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dING
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0
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877
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Joke of the Week SMH
(Preview)
The lawyer says to the wealthy art collector tycoon. "I have some good news and I have some bad news...." The tycoon replies, "I've had an awful day, let's hear the good news first." The lawyer says: "Well, your wife invested $5,000 in two pictures this week that she figure...
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Hendo
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1
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1070
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A XXXX joke sensitive people don't look but funny
(Preview)
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Ontos45
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0
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1067
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Love and teddy bears
(Preview)
A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together.. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hund...
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dorian
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0
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875
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As related by an old Prospector round the camp fire.....it's off colour....but romantic...I guess...
(Preview)
.........A woman had been a prostitute for 4 years and was worried about the 'size' of her vagina on her wedding night..... Accordingly she decided to tell her newly wed husband that she had caught it on barbed wire when climbing over a farmer's fence... After their first consummating tryst, the subj...
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Goldfinger
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0
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909
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Old but still a good one....
(Preview)
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aussie_paul
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1
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947
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Grandfathers Don't Always Know Everything....
(Preview)
Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his Grandfather for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, "Grandpa, what's that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?" His Grandpa was a little take...
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Goldfinger
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1
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764
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The Irish vasectomy...
(Preview)
After having their 11th child, an Irish couple decided that that was enough, as they couldnt afford a larger bed. So the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didnt want to have any more children The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem b...
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aussie_paul
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5
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1164
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Must have liked to fish.........
(Preview)
The sombre funeral procession pulled into the cemetery....Several carloads of family members followed a black Dual Cab Ute, towing the tinny with its outboard attached, and with a coffin <centre stage> secured across the tinny's seats.... A passer-by remarked, "That bloke...
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Goldfinger
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1
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837
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I walked into a bar
(Preview)
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nimrod
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1
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937
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Lovely English humour
(Preview)
For those who do not listen to the 'Today' programme on BBC Radio 4, this is English humour at its best.Right at the end of a programme recently, there was a discussion about thecost of entry into Premiership football matches where ticket prices of £60or £100 per game is not uncommon.An elderly chap be...
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gerard gue
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0
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854
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The First Pint
(Preview)
While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint. Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage. I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that eithe...
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Yarra
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1
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839
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What I want in a Man For the Ladies
(Preview)
Original List 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3. Financially successful 4. A caring listener 5. Witty 6. In good shape 7. Dresses with style 8. Appreciates finer things 9. Full of thoughtful surprises What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32) 1. Nice looking 2. Opens car doors, holds chairs 3. Has enough m...
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Yarra
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0
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981
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