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Claude the Hypnotist!
(Preview)
It was entertainment night at the senior citizens' centre. After the community sing along led by Alice at the piano, it was time for the star of the show - Claude the Hypnotist! Claude explained that he was going to put the whole audience into a trance."Yes, each and every one of you and all at the...
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Yarra
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0
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765
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Dial Up : Please not for the ladies Thankyou.
(Preview)
Yo Momma is so fat, when she got on the scales it read. " I need your weight." "Not your phone Number".
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Hey Jim
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0
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766
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Almost made a spectacle of herself.....
(Preview)
At a hotel restaurant, a man sees a most attractive woman sitting alone at the next table. Suddenly, she sneezes, and a glass eye comes flying out of her eye socket. It hurls by the man, and he suddenly snatches it from the air, in a half pike motion, and hands it back to her. "This is soooo embarra...
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Goldfinger
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1
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882
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GOLDFINGERS FIND
(Preview)
Whats bigger then Gommers pile. Winnies POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whats Bigger then Winnies POO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GiLLANS ISLAND. Whats bigger then Gillans Island. Goldfingers 21 GRANDER.
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Hey Jim
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2
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751
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It's hell to get old.
(Preview)
Two medical students were walking along the streetWhen they saw an old man walking with his legs spreadApart. He was stiff-legged and walking slowly. One student said to his friend: "I'm sure that poor oldMan has Peltry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that." The other student sa...
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Yarra
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1
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1005
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Wecome to the Forum
(Preview)
Wecome to the Forum, Micheal Fiztpatrick & Patrick FiztMicheal. Ben Down & Phil McCaverty Enjoy yourselfves.
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Hey Jim
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1
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679
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Places you may have visited...
(Preview)
An oldie but worth re-telling..... We have been in many places but we've never been in Kahoots. Apparently you can't go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone else. We've also never been in Cognito.......we hear no-one recognizes you there. We have however been in Sane. They don't have an ai...
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Goldfinger
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1
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825
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B17 bomber crew
(Preview)
During WW2 the US introduced the Boeing B17 Bomber, a magnificent aeroplane with a crew of 11: Captain, Navigator, Flight engineer, Bombardier, Radio operator, Nose gunner, 2 X Waist gunners, Top turret gunner, Belly gunner, Tail gunner. The story goes that during the last days of the North Afri...
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Possum3
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1
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855
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For the Wine Lovers
(Preview)
-- Edited by Redlander on Friday 22nd of May 2015 06:48:06 AM
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Redlander
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1
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790
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Warning
(Preview)
A guy gets talking to a good sort at his local and get on really well. Come last drinks he invites her back to his place and she readily accepts. They get back to his place and as he put the key in the door he turns to her and says " I should warn you that I sometimes suffer from prem.... ooooh oh oh too late...
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Hendo
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0
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714
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Cabbie witness....
(Preview)
A man returns home a day early from a business trip.Its after midnight. While en route home, he asks the cabby if he would be a witness.The man suspects his wife is having an affair, and he wants to catch her in the act. For $200, the cabby agrees.Quietly arriving home, the husband and cabby tip toe into...
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aussie_paul
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2
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942
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Really??....I did not think this would be an issue.....
(Preview)
In Gents Toilet........I'm a bit thick, but it did not even occur to me......the sign 'airblades' was more than sufficient warning one would have thought?....not my idea of a perfect blowjob!........lmao....Hoo Roo -- Edited by Goldfinger on Sunday 24th of May 2015 08:40:45 AM
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Goldfinger
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1
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839
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Incentive for top Health Cover......Warning! P/Incorrect but humorous.....
(Preview)
HAVE YOU GOT TOP HEALTH COVER.....?? A wealthy hospital benefactor was being shown around the hospital. During her tour, she passed a room where a male patient was masturbating furiously. "Oh my GOD!" screamed the woman. "That's disgraceful!..why is he doing that?" Th...
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Goldfinger
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0
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742
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NOW QUALIFIED
(Preview)
We the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little, we are now qualified to do anything with nothing!
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Hey Jim
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1
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831
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Why did you have to die?
(Preview)
A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" T...
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Yarra
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0
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774
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Pirates of the Caribbean
(Preview)
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Gunsondeck
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1
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855
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Tragic
(Preview)
Every box of raisins is a sad tale of grapes that could have been wine
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Possum3
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0
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797
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Post Turtles
(Preview)
POST TURTLES While stitching a cut on the hand of a 75 year old farmer, whose hand was caught in the squeeze gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to politicians and their role as our leaders. The old farmer said, "Well, a...
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Hurls
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2
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1096
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Disco
(Preview)
Husband takes his wife to a disco.. There's a guy on the dance floor really going crazy - break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the whole works.. The wife turns to her husband and says: "You see that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down!!!" Husband says: "Look...
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Dodge
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0
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634
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50 shades of grey
(Preview)
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY BY PAM AYRES The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag;... T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope;...
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Dodge
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0
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811
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