|
RYE BREAD
(Preview)
Rye Bread Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual spot in the park one morning. The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87 year old said, "...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
873
|
|
|
|
|
SLOW LEARNER;
(Preview)
Bob walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM. > He sat down next to a blonde at the bar > And stared up at the TV. > > The 10 PM news was coming on. > The news crew was covering the story > Of a man on the ledge of a large building > Preparing to jump. > > > > The blonde looked at Bo...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1092
|
|
|
|
|
DREAMER;
(Preview)
A fifteen year old Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, 'What is this Father?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'So...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
904
|
|
|
|
|
money talks;
(Preview)
ONLY THE IRISH, BLESS 'EM! . Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a lorry went by loaded up with rolls of turf. Paddy said, 'I gonna do that when I win lottery' 'What's dat, says his mate. 'Send me lawn away to be cut'.
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
1113
|
|
|
|
|
MAMMOGRAMS
(Preview)
Mammograms Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your h...
|
Ma
|
6
|
1246
|
|
|
|
|
LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE
(Preview)
A congressman was seated next to a little girl on an airplane so he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What wo...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
1068
|
|
|
|
|
Irish burial at Sea;
(Preview)
Mick and Paddy had promised their Uncle Seamus, who had been a seafaring gent, all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Well, in due time, Seamus did pass away and the boys kept their promise. They set off with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a sea burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat. After a wee bi...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1179
|
|
|
|
|
FATAL;
(Preview)
Don't try this at home as it may prove fatal !!!!! Gotta give it to this bloke!!! On their 50th anniversary, a wife found the negligee she wore on her wedding night and put it on. She went to her husband, a retired military man, and asked, 'Honey, do you remember this?' He looked up from his newspaper and sa...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1012
|
|
|
|
|
FEMAIL LOGIC???
(Preview)
Dave sent his wife a message that he'd be home a day earlier than planned. Arriving at the house, he discovered his wife in bed having sex with another man. Bitterly, Dave kicked them out of the house, and started to plan a course of action. His thoughts were interrupted by a call from his soon to be ex-mot...
|
Ma
|
1
|
1132
|
|
|
|
|
MEN!!!!
(Preview)
THE ROOM WAS FULL OF PREGNANT WOMEN WITH THEIR PARTNERS AND THEINSTRUCTOR WAS IN FULL SWING. THE INSTRUCTOR WAS TEACHING THE WOMEN HOW TO BREATHE PROPERLY AND TELLING THE MEN HOW TO GIVE THE NECESSARY ASSURANCE TO THEIR PARTNERS AT THIS STAGE OF THE PREGNANCY. SHE SAID "LADIES, REMEMBER THAT E...
|
Ma
|
0
|
839
|
|
|
|
|
Remember When
(Preview)
Remember when ............ WE WAS BRUNG UP PROPER !
"And we never had a whole Mars bar until 1993"!!!
CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL MY FRIENDS WHO WERE BORN IN THE 1930's 1940's, 50's, 60's and early 70's !
First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us a...
|
Cruising Granny
|
0
|
1186
|
|
|
|
|
Retirement
(Preview)
And They Ask---Why do I Like Retirement????
Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday
Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch .
Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might ta...
|
Cruising Granny
|
2
|
1650
|
|
|
|
|
COSTUME PARTY;
(Preview)
Costume Party A couple was invited to a swanky costume party. The Mrs. got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed and there was no need for his good time being spoile...
|
justcruisin01
|
1
|
1288
|
|
|
|
|
A bit of a mix-up
(Preview)
A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend.They hadn'nt been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland. Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration,that a pair of good quality gloves would strike t...
|
Zoomtopz
|
2
|
1583
|
|
|
|
|
got ya;
(Preview)
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death. They are close to just lying down andwaiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden....... 'Hey Pepe, do yousmell what I smell.Ees bacon I is sure of eet.' 'Si, Luis eet smellslike bacon to meee.' So, with reneweds...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1167
|
|
|
|
|
WHAT A GREAT IDEA
(Preview)
In India recently, I saw a sign that said, English speaking taxi driver. I thought, what a great idea, why dont we have them in our country? Maybe this is posted in the wrong spot because sometimes it isn't a joke is it, or then.................
|
Ma
|
0
|
878
|
|
|
|
|
On getting old...
(Preview)
One of the most frustrating thing about getting older is that every time you see an expensive antique, you remember one just like it you once thre away!
|
Dunmowin
|
2
|
1616
|
|
|
|
|
GREAT EXPLANATION!!!!!!!!!
(Preview)
The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And she was somewhat upset. 'You are a disrespectful pig!' she cried. 'How dare you do this to me -- a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce right away!' An...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
848
|
|
|
|
|
PRICE OF SILIENCE;
(Preview)
Football BootsWoman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home unexpectedly, she tells her lover to hide in the cupboa...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
1054
|
|
|
|
|
HALF WAY THERE;
(Preview)
An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When the black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his penis and on the end is a weight. After a while, the weight stretches the penis to 24inches. Later t...
|
justcruisin01
|
0
|
882
|
|
|
