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CREATION
(Preview)
A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!
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Pickles
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0
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858
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servicing the herd
(Preview)
My herd of Lowlines, were due to be services, as they had all dropped their calfs, and it was time to pump em back up. So I bundled them into the cattle crate and headed to my mate who had a good bull. When he was finished i loaded them backup and returned The next morning I rolled over and asked Monica to look o...
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twobob
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0
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1021
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coupla cow jokes
(Preview)
Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy: I was artificially inseminated this morning. Dolly: I don't believe you. Daisy: It's true, straight up, no bull! Two cows stand in a field. First cow: Are you worried about this Mad Cow Disease thats going round? Second cow: Not really, I'm a ch...
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dave06
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1
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1088
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coupla ducky jokes
(Preview)
Three guys died in an accident and went to heaven. When they got there, St. Peter said, "We only have one rule in heaven. Don't step on the ducks!" So they entered heaven and sure enough, there were ducks all over the place. It was almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they tried t...
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dave06
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1
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884
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Talking Dog
(Preview)
A chap sees a sign advertising: "Talking Dog - $50". He knocks on the door and asks if he can see the dog, "sure" says the owner and calls the dog and leaves the room. " So you can talk" says the chap "Sure" says the dog "That is amazing - where did you learn...
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Basil Faulty
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4
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1085
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Careful of the country cops
(Preview)
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NannyMon
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3
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1168
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Duck, flu and Obama and Eclesiastic jokes
(Preview)
Donald Duck goes on a dirty weekend but forgets his condoms. He calls down to reception, asks for a pack of three. Reception asks shall I put them on your bill? Donald replies, "Don't be bloody stupid, I'll suffocate".... It was once said a black man would be president when pigs fl...
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Basil Faulty
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2
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1148
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Old Dogs!!!
(Preview)
One day the old German shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing som...
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Pickles
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1
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1091
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H ORSE RIDING BLONDE STYLE
(Preview)
A blonde decides to try horeback riding, even thou she has had no experience. She mounts the horse unasisted and the horse immediatly springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace,but the blonde starts to slide from the saddle. In terror, she grabs the horses mane, but cannot s...
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drongo & wendy
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3
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981
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Dyslexics untie
(Preview)
Did you hear about the dyslexic, insomniac athiest? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog
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Basil Faulty
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0
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986
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another dog joke...
(Preview)
Dog walks into the post office at Karumba and wants to send a telegram, grabs a form & writes woof. woof. woof. woof. woof. woof. woof. woof. woof. & hands it to the clerk who looks at it and helpfully suggests that there are 9 woof's and for the same price he can put in an extra woof. The dog respon...
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Basil Faulty
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0
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788
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Airplane maintenance
(Preview)
Airplane maintenance "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. (P) = Problem (S) = Solution (P) Left inside main tire...
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Pickles
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0
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942
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he's in trouble this time
(Preview)
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?" T...
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dave06
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1
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851
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WHO DOES WHAT
(Preview)
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your jo...
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Pickles
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0
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862
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Mid Life Cleared up
(Preview)
Mid-Life Crisis After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, 'Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV; but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old gal. Now I have a $500,00...
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Cruising Granny
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2
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1211
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
(Preview)
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife repli...
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Pickles
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3
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1138
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Aussie Style Friendship
(Preview)
True Friendship "Aussie Style"None of that SissyCrap .. Are you tired of those piss weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute little smiley fa...
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Wombat 280
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2
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1164
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yes I know but I got to put up with him
(Preview)
A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up...
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dave06
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0
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958
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another one kemosabe
(Preview)
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the plains one day, when Tonto suddenly ****ed his ear at a passing falcoln's cry. "Kemosabe... Apache to East!" he whispered. The Lone Ranger looked to his faithful companion. "What do we do?" Tonto pondered a moment. "We rid...
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dave06
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0
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846
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a pea****s offspring
(Preview)
a man took his 84 year old father shopping for new shoes, whilst sitting on a bench waiting to be served he spied his father staring at a young feller who had multi colored spiked hair everytime the young feller turned around he seen the old man staring at him eventually he asked the old man "what w...
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dave06
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3
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1088
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