Just Joking

dave06 · dave06

two vampire bats found themselves in a strange cave upon awakening, one said to the other "geez!! I"M hungry we will have to find some blood soon" the other said "we had better wait until the others go out or we will get lost and besides we dont know where we are going," to whi...

dave06 · dave06

a cowboy walked in to a bar dressed in paper hat, paper shirt, paper coat, paper trousers, paper chaps and paper shoes, he was immediately arrested, why ? I hear you ask, ................................................ RUSTLING OF COURSE WHAT ELSE.

twobob · twobob

Great Senior Moment! A very self-important college newbie attending a football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost prim...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. She remarried a third time and this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord fo...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

A platoon of soldiers were patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, th...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Not sure where to post this it's a true story but could pass for a joke . Bloke in Kempsey NSW out front of home mowing the nature strip Leaves mower running while takes catcher to backyard to empty Returns to see mower on the back of an old ute going down the road at a great rate of knots . Gets UTE rego and...

Gary and Kerry · Gary and Kerry

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!! If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears With their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning .. Uphill...barefo...

dave06 · dave06

jocks..........................................your

twobob · twobob

A New Zealand walked into an Australian unemployment office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "G'day mate, I'm lookin' for a job." The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur for his...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog. A neighbor, an old fellow, was leaning on the fence watching my progress and asked, "What the hell's that for?" I explained, "It's a sundial. See, the sun will hit that s...

Quincey · Quincey

Wizards of Oz PresidentsFour U.S. presidents are caught in a tornado and are whirled off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. "What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?" Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: "I've come for some courag...

Ole Grizzly · Ole Grizzly

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!' Ne...

Ole Grizzly · Ole Grizzly

New Alphabet Ais for apple, andBis for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead. Now The Alphabet A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is...

Ole Grizzly · Ole Grizzly

An elderly man in Perth calls his son in Sydney and says, 'I hate to ruin your Christmas, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting divorced; 35 years of misery is enough.' 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. 'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says...

twobob · twobob

- With his platoon at attention, the drill instructor yelled, "All right! All you dummies fall out." As the rest of the recruits walked away, one man remained at rigid attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with the man, raising just a single eyebrow. The recrui...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer hea...

Pam · Pam

WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS This one is priceless... A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. ...

twobob · twobob

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the yo...

twobob · twobob

BE CAREFUL! A new shopping scam has started here and all Solo GN males should be told. At my local shopping center two pretty young ladies with gr8 boobs, tiny tops and hot legs are offering to clean windscreens in the car park.!!!!!! When done they will ask for a lift as payment??? Then while travel...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	two bats (Preview) two vampire bats found themselves in a strange cave upon awakening, one said to the other "geez!! I"M hungry we will have to find some blood soon" the other said "we had better wait until the others go out or we will get lost and besides we dont know where we are going," to whi...	dave06	0	1366	07:11 PM Oct 29, 2008 by dave06
	a quick one (Preview) a cowboy walked in to a bar dressed in paper hat, paper shirt, paper coat, paper trousers, paper chaps and paper shoes, he was immediately arrested, why ? I hear you ask, ................................................ RUSTLING OF COURSE WHAT ELSE.	dave06	0	1560	10:08 PM Oct 28, 2008 by dave06
	More senior moments (Preview) Great Senior Moment! A very self-important college newbie attending a football game, took it upon himself to explain to a senior citizen sitting next to him why it was impossible for the older generation to understand his generation. "You grew up in a different world, actually an almost prim...	twobob	2	1754	09:37 PM Oct 25, 2008 by twobob
	They're finally together (Preview) She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. She remarried a third time and this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord fo...	Gary and Kerry	0	1515	07:41 AM Oct 24, 2008 by Gary and Kerry
	Extreme Joke, do not read if easily offended by political satire (Preview) A platoon of soldiers were patrolling north of Fallujah when they came upon an Iraqi terrorist, badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an Australian soldier in a similar but less serious state. The soldier was conscious and alert and as first aid was given to both men, th...	Basil Faulty	5	1985	09:41 PM Oct 23, 2008 by Wombat 280
	Couldn't Believe It (Preview) Not sure where to post this it's a true story but could pass for a joke . Bloke in Kempsey NSW out front of home mowing the nature strip Leaves mower running while takes catcher to backyard to empty Returns to see mower on the back of an old ute going down the road at a great rate of knots . Gets UTE rego and...	Wombat 280	0	1489	09:34 PM Oct 23, 2008 by Wombat 280
	New Stock Market Terms (Preview) CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius. BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,...	Gary and Kerry	1	1455	08:39 AM Oct 23, 2008 by Roostertales
	Feeling your age (Preview) THE SPOILED UNDER-30 CROWD!!! If you are 30 or older you will think this is hilarious!!!! When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears With their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking Twenty-five miles to school every morning .. Uphill...barefo...	Wombat 280	5	2943	10:02 PM Oct 22, 2008 by Wombat 280
	just an oldie (Preview) jocks..........................................your	dave06	0	1465	07:13 PM Oct 22, 2008 by dave06
	ethnic jokes - no harm intended (Preview) A New Zealand walked into an Australian unemployment office, marched straight up to the counter and said, "G'day mate, I'm lookin' for a job." The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur for his...	twobob	2	1682	07:08 PM Oct 21, 2008 by Wombat 280
	That's Progress For Ya (Preview) I was setting up a large, cast aluminum, decorative sundial in my yard that I had purchased from a garden catalog. A neighbor, an old fellow, was leaning on the fence watching my progress and asked, "What the hell's that for?" I explained, "It's a sundial. See, the sun will hit that s...	Wombat 280	0	1616	09:59 PM Oct 19, 2008 by Wombat 280
	Wizards of Oz Presidents (Preview) Wizards of Oz PresidentsFour U.S. presidents are caught in a tornado and are whirled off to Oz. They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the Great Wizard. "What brings you before the great Wizard of Oz?" Jimmy Carter stepped forward timidly: "I've come for some courag...	Quincey	1	1655	10:02 PM Oct 18, 2008 by twobob
	Cantankerous ole bugga (Preview) An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screaming and yelling could be heard deep into the night. The old man would shout, 'When I die, I will dig my way up and out of the grave and come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!' Ne...	Ole Grizzly	3	1999	09:51 PM Oct 18, 2008 by twobob
	Our New Alphabet (Preview) New Alphabet Ais for apple, andBis for boat, That used to be right, but now it won't float! Age before beauty is what we once said, But let's be a bit more realistic instead. Now The Alphabet A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac? D is for dental decay and decline, E is...	Ole Grizzly	2	1767	10:38 PM Oct 17, 2008 by Quincey
	An Oldie..but still enjoy it. (Preview) An elderly man in Perth calls his son in Sydney and says, 'I hate to ruin your Christmas, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are getting divorced; 35 years of misery is enough.' 'Dad, what are you talking about?' the son screams. 'We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,' the old man says...	Ole Grizzly	0	1689	09:27 AM Oct 17, 2008 by Ole Grizzly
	for the new recruit - army, navy or airforce (Preview) - With his platoon at attention, the drill instructor yelled, "All right! All you dummies fall out." As the rest of the recruits walked away, one man remained at rigid attention. The drill instructor walked over until he was eye to eye with the man, raising just a single eyebrow. The recrui...	twobob	1	1914	05:44 PM Oct 16, 2008 by Ole Grizzly
	English...Killing us? (Preview) After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health.: 1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer hea...	Basil Faulty	2	1881	02:57 PM Oct 15, 2008 by suenami
	Wrong Email Address (Preview) WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS This one is priceless... A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address! A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. ...	Pam	0	1895	12:31 PM Oct 15, 2008 by Pam
	To be senior - come on help me out in the jokes forum (Preview) Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the yo...	twobob	2	1793	12:23 PM Oct 15, 2008 by Pam
	New shopping scam - watch out!! (Preview) BE CAREFUL! A new shopping scam has started here and all Solo GN males should be told. At my local shopping center two pretty young ladies with gr8 boobs, tiny tops and hot legs are offering to clean windscreens in the car park.!!!!!! When done they will ask for a lift as payment??? Then while travel...	twobob	0	1621	08:22 PM Oct 13, 2008 by twobob
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