Just Joking

The Gnome · The Gnome

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6) 3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all roun...

The Gnome · The Gnome

Theyve started already, 1. Micheal Jackson is dead. Hospital staff don't know what to do with the body as plastic recycling is not till next Tuesday 2. MJ has died. To commemorate his musical achievements, McDonalds have released the mcjackson burger. Its a 50 yr old piece of aged albino meat shoved...

The Gnome · The Gnome

KIDS ARE GREAT GOTTA LOVE LITTLE BOYS Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' 'Eight', the boy replied. The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for...

The Gnome · The Gnome

Wordplay for Lexophiles: 1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. 4. To write with a broken penc...

The Gnome · The Gnome

HEART SURGEON'S FUNERAL One of the city's top cardiac specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses. When the pastor finished the sermon and everyone said their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Meet a Buddhist monk last night after leaving the club. He said if I was to achieve inner peace I would need to finish things I started . So, I've now finished the bottle of red I opened last night , finished off the Bourbon along with the 6 pack of Tooheys and the last of the Valium and I now believe I'...

Dragonfly · Dragonfly

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.00. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Airlines stock you would have $49.00 left. But, if you had...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

From children's essays.. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drak...

dave06 · dave06

Subject: Nun The Nun in Hooters A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However...

Cruising Granny · Cruising Granny

This is what I reckon we should do... Dear Mr. Rudd, Please find below my suggestion for fixing Australia's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retireme...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his off...

Wombat 280 · Wombat 280

Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...

Mike47 · Mike47

A bloke was out for a bit of hunting with his shotgun. He spotted a duck, so he shot it. Then he spotted a rabbit, so he shot it. Just then he noticed a gorgeous woman lying on the grass under a shady tree, stark naked. He walked up and asked her if she was game and she said she was. . . So he shot her. -- Edited by Mi...

Ma · Ma

Just phoned the NHS swine flu helpline and all I got was crackling. How did the pig go on holiday? The swine flu !!! Swine flu isn't a problem for pigs, because they're all going to be cured anyway. The first sign of pig flu is that you come out in nasty rashers. If you want a clear train carriage on the way int...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

Have a look at this - it's disgusting.

Xtrail51 · Xtrail51

The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child.The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, 'This is amazing. How do you do it a...

Basil Faulty · Basil Faulty

A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak..... He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged... shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by h...

suenami · suenami

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have...

Monica · Monica

Well I cant help it .... I'm bored .. and it is still raining.

Monica · Monica

I think this guy is bored too

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Kids Writing About the Sea (Preview) 1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6) 2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6) 3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all roun...	The Gnome	0	1008	10:12 AM Jul 5, 2009 by The Gnome
	Wacko Jacko (Preview) Theyve started already, 1. Micheal Jackson is dead. Hospital staff don't know what to do with the body as plastic recycling is not till next Tuesday 2. MJ has died. To commemorate his musical achievements, McDonalds have released the mcjackson burger. Its a 50 yr old piece of aged albino meat shoved...	The Gnome	4	1177	10:45 AM Jul 4, 2009 by dave06
	Hope this does not offend anyone lol (Preview) KIDS ARE GREAT GOTTA LOVE LITTLE BOYS Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, 'Son, how old are you?' 'Eight', the boy replied. The man continued, 'Do you know what these are used for...	The Gnome	4	1084	08:32 PM Jul 3, 2009 by suenami
	Wordplay for Lexophiles (Preview) Wordplay for Lexophiles: 1. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 2. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. 3. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. 4. To write with a broken penc...	The Gnome	2	999	08:01 PM Jul 3, 2009 by suenami
	Heart Surgeon's Funeral (Preview) <!-- --> HEART SURGEON'S FUNERAL One of the city's top cardiac specialists died. At his funeral, his coffin was placed in front of a huge replica of a heart made of red roses. When the pastor finished the sermon and everyone said their good-byes, the large heart opened up, the coffin rolled...	The Gnome	0	767	01:26 PM Jul 3, 2009 by The Gnome
	Inner Peace to All (Preview) Meet a Buddhist monk last night after leaving the club. He said if I was to achieve inner peace I would need to finish things I started . So, I've now finished the bottle of red I opened last night , finished off the Bourbon along with the 6 pack of Tooheys and the last of the Valium and I now believe I'...	Wombat 280	1	783	10:10 AM Jul 1, 2009 by dave06
	Retirement Planning (Preview) If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.00. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Airlines stock you would have $49.00 left. But, if you had...	Dragonfly	2	1039	06:33 AM Jul 1, 2009 by sgntbilko
	Excerpts from childrens essays.... (Preview) From children's essays.. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. Sir Francis Drak...	Basil Faulty	4	1549	12:50 AM Jun 29, 2009 by Rolly
	the nun (Preview) Subject: Nun The Nun in Hooters A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off." Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However...	dave06	1	973	08:43 PM Jun 28, 2009 by sgntbilko
	Fixing The Country (Preview) This is what I reckon we should do... Dear Mr. Rudd, Please find below my suggestion for fixing Australia's economy. Instead of giving billions of dollars to banks that will squander the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan. You can call it the Patriotic Retireme...	Cruising Granny	1	1115	12:04 AM Jun 27, 2009 by Mike47
	Replaced by Mini (Preview) Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage door, and walked into his off...	Wombat 280	0	1022	02:46 PM Jun 26, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Second Opinion (Preview) Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what y...	Wombat 280	0	993	02:42 PM Jun 26, 2009 by Wombat 280
	THE HUNTER (Preview) A bloke was out for a bit of hunting with his shotgun. He spotted a duck, so he shot it. Then he spotted a rabbit, so he shot it. Just then he noticed a gorgeous woman lying on the grass under a shady tree, stark naked. He walked up and asked her if she was game and she said she was. . . So he shot her. -- Edited by Mi...	Mike47	0	1038	01:37 PM Jun 26, 2009 by Mike47
	SWINE FLU - AGAIN (Preview) Just phoned the NHS swine flu helpline and all I got was crackling. How did the pig go on holiday? The swine flu !!! Swine flu isn't a problem for pigs, because they're all going to be cured anyway. The first sign of pig flu is that you come out in nasty rashers. If you want a clear train carriage on the way int...	Ma	1	1258	05:16 PM Jun 25, 2009 by Wal
	Signwriter who got it very wrong (Preview) Have a look at this - it's disgusting.	Basil Faulty	1	1212	11:55 PM Jun 24, 2009 by Rolly
	Keep the Motor Running. (Preview) The marriage of an 80 year old man and a 20 year old woman was the talk of the town. After being married a year, the couple went to the hospital for the birth of their first child.The attending nurse came out of the delivery room to congratulate the old gentleman and said, 'This is amazing. How do you do it a...	Xtrail51	0	913	08:05 AM Jun 24, 2009 by Xtrail51
	Duck hunter (Preview) A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak..... He walked over to a tree and propped up his gun. Just then a gust of wind blew, the gun fell over, and discharged... shooting him in the genitals. Several hours later, lying in a hospital bed, he was approached by h...	Basil Faulty	4	1213	06:54 PM Jun 22, 2009 by suenami
	A Trip to Costco (Preview) Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Biscuit, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have...	suenami	0	1120	06:48 PM Jun 22, 2009 by suenami
	blondes (Preview) Well I cant help it .... I'm bored .. and it is still raining.	Monica	0	1056	07:36 PM Jun 20, 2009 by Monica
	the things people do (Preview) I think this guy is bored too	Monica	0	1088	12:27 PM Jun 20, 2009 by Monica
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