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urgent request
(Preview)
: BREAKING NEWS ::: Due to the recession in 2009 the government will start deporting all the mentally ill people to save money. I started crying when I thought of you. Run my little crazy friends, run! Well, what can I say ??? Someone sent it to me, and dammit, I'm NOT going alone !!?
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dave06
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7
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1278
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What Killed Paddy
(Preview)
Paddy was a youthful and hard working Irishman at a Coastal village in Ireland . Daily he would pole a heavy old punt out to sea then work a heavy iron grapple to bring up the sand oysters which he sold to the local ice works. He was a man of regular habits he always arrived home each day at a certain time. Sad...
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Wombat 280
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1
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1093
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Lions- V -Rotary
(Preview)
Two blokes in a pub and one makes the statement "Do you know Lions have sex 10 times a day". Mate replies "Bugger me I just joined Rotary "
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Wombat 280
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1
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1273
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pain releif
(Preview)
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered. Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing an amazing new high-tech machine that would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the baby's father. He asked if they were willing to try it out Both said they...
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dave06
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0
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1121
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Viagra users take note.
(Preview)
If you are using Viagra put it in a cup of tea, as this will stop your buscuit going soft when you dunk it
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Road Ranger
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8
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1402
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THIS IS CLEVER
(Preview)
Someone out there is deadly at Scrabble. (Wait till you see the last one)! DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM
PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters: BEST IN PRAYER
ASTRONOMER: When you rearrange the letters: MOON STARER
DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letter...
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sgntbilko
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1
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1181
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the two statues
(Preview)
in a park in metropilos was found a pair of statues, one male one female, staring at each other, through what seemed like very loving eyes for eternity, knowing in their stone hearts that they could never be together a kind hearted angel was flittering about (as they are known to do) minding his own bus...
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dave06
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0
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1002
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The Queen and Dolly go to heaven
(Preview)
The Queen & Dolly Go To Heaven !! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven. Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide whi...
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Roostertales
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0
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1126
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Life in the Australian Army
(Preview)
.. Text of a letter from a kid from Eromanga to Mum and Dad. (For Those of you not in the know, Eromanga is a small town, west of Quilpie in the far south west of Queensland ) Dear Mum & Dad, I am well. Hope you are too. Tell me big brothers Doug and Phil that the Army is better than workin' on the station - te...
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mike and Judy
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2
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1265
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A (mate) sent me this.
(Preview)
http://www.newsday.com/news/opinion/ny-walt-babyboomers-blurb,0,1036393.blurb
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Road Ranger
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0
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1006
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Tail Number
(Preview)
I'll bet they change that tail number ASAP
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Wombat 280
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2
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1216
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Heard this on 774 am this morning - a dog story
(Preview)
A fella comes into his vet in tears holding his apparently dead dog and says "doc you gotta help me - I luv him dearly is there anything you can for him ?" (by the way readers I am adlibbing this a bit) The vet who can obviously see the dog is dear departed says "well ok bring him in here and put...
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Roostertales
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1
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986
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wife from hell !!!!
(Preview)
. Wife from Hell A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.The driver says, Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: Now dont be silly dear, you k...
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Roostertales
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1
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1339
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MURDER AT WOOLWORTHS
(Preview)
So, here's the story. . . Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in anunhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problemsby taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the Beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed. A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch wi...
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sgntbilko
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4
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1399
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a bit crude but funny nonetheless
(Preview)
a lecturer was standing in front of a group of women trying to give a lecture on involuntary spasms within the human body having tried to gain the noisy and disruptive class time and time again with no success he finally cracked walking over to one of the noisier women in the front row he asked the questio...
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dave06
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0
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986
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A DAY AS A COPPER
(Preview)
Alocal policeman had just finished and was at home with his misses. You wont believe what happened this evening, in all my years in the force iv never seen anything like it. 'Yes dear what happened" I came accros two blokes down by the river, one was drinking battery acid and th...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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1061
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Flogging a dead 'orse
(Preview)
Flogging a dead horse Young Kevin, moved to Canberra and bought a Donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.' Kevin replied, 'Well,then just give me my money back.' Th...
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Roostertales
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2
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1212
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I.T. for new wives
(Preview)
INSTALLING A HUSBAND Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstall...
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Roostertales
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0
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1078
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Kiwi Joke
(Preview)
Question: What's a Hindu? Kiwi answer: Lay's iggs
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Mike47
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4
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1336
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Kiwi bashing
(Preview)
The Centrelink Office. A long - haired kiwi walked into the local Centrelink office to pick up his dole cheque. He marched straight up to the counter and said, 'Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing the dole. I'd really rather have a job.' The Centrelink girl behind the counter said, ' Your timing is exce...
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Roostertales
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1
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1601
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