Just Joking

anolphart · anolphart

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Lawyer again.I thought that you should know that LAWYERS aren't too smart, after all.A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.He advised her t...

anolphart · anolphart

One afternoon, two doctors from India were having an animated discussion. "I say it's spelled 'W-H-O-O-M'," said the first Indian doctor."No, no, no, it is 'W-H-O-M-B'," said the other Indian doctor.An American nurse passing by said, "Excuse me, you are both wrong. It is spelled 'W-O-M-B'.""Tha...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 46 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "FORTY-SIX YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP HOUSE, A JUNK CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK ANDWHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 23-YEAR-OLD GIRL. NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $35,000.00 CAR, A N...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man and his wife...

Bobdown · Bobdown

Not bad..........

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the River.The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than m...e. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids - I just don't get it.''Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?''Politician...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup, buys several new outfits and...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

A little girl and boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said: Hey Bobby, do you want to play house?.Sure, he replied, what do you want me to do?.I want you to communicate, little Susie replied.That word is too big. I have no idea what it means, Bobby said.The little girl smirked and said, pe...

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room it wasnt there.Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is, the ignition i...

dorian · dorian

https://edition.cnn.com/videos/us/2023/07/07/atlanta-attempted-robbery-fail-cprog-orig-jc.cnn

dorian · dorian

I received a funny (weird) and funny (haha) SMS last night. ON have a plan to both lower and reduce the cost of living. "One Nation's candidate, Sandy Roach, has been working hard for you, Bernard. We have a plan to lower the cost of living, hold criminals to account and reduce the cost of living....

anolphart · anolphart

anolphart · anolphart

anolphart · anolphart

rgren2 · rgren2

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

aussie_paul · aussie_paul

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Wisdom quotes (Preview) A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain. Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. ...	anolphart	0	703	05:31 PM Jul 19, 2023 by anolphart
	One for Dmax.. (Preview) Lawyer again.I thought that you should know that LAWYERS aren't too smart, after all.A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator.He advised her t...	aussie_paul	2	792	10:44 PM Jul 18, 2023 by watsea
	Correct spelling (Preview) One afternoon, two doctors from India were having an animated discussion. "I say it's spelled 'W-H-O-O-M'," said the first Indian doctor."No, no, no, it is 'W-H-O-M-B'," said the other Indian doctor.An American nurse passing by said, "Excuse me, you are both wrong. It is spelled 'W-O-M-B'.""Tha...	anolphart	0	698	08:33 PM Jul 18, 2023 by anolphart
	AFTER BEING MARRIED.. (Preview) AFTER BEING MARRIED FOR 46 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE DAY AND SAID, "FORTY-SIX YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP HOUSE, A JUNK CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK ANDWHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 23-YEAR-OLD GIRL. NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A $35,000.00 CAR, A N...	aussie_paul	4	1322	06:21 PM Jul 18, 2023 by Are We Lost
	An old country preacher (Preview) An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men his age, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided...	aussie_paul	1	451	05:52 PM Jul 18, 2023 by Craig1
	A man and his wife... (Preview) A man and his wife...	aussie_paul	1	656	05:26 PM Jul 18, 2023 by Whenarewethere
	Mother in Law (Preview) Not bad..........	Bobdown	1	891	10:10 AM Jul 18, 2023 by peter67
	Feeding Crocodiles... (Preview) Two Crocodiles were sitting at the side of the River.The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, 'I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than m...e. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids - I just don't get it.''Well,' said the big Croc, 'what have you been eating?''Politician...	aussie_paul	1	631	09:58 AM Jul 18, 2023 by dogbox
	Choosing a wife: (Preview) A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money.The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup, buys several new outfits and...	aussie_paul	0	541	06:07 PM Jul 17, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Brothers and sisters.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	765	12:55 PM Jul 15, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Kids. (Preview) A little girl and boy were at daycare. The girl approached the boy and said: Hey Bobby, do you want to play house?.Sure, he replied, what do you want me to do?.I want you to communicate, little Susie replied.That word is too big. I have no idea what it means, Bobby said.The little girl smirked and said, pe...	aussie_paul	0	672	12:53 PM Jul 15, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Keys left in car.. (Preview) After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys. They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room it wasnt there.Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is, the ignition i...	aussie_paul	0	585	12:51 PM Jul 15, 2023 by aussie_paul
	Nail salon robbery goes awry as customers completely ignore demands (Preview) https://edition.cnn.com/videos/us/2023/07/07/atlanta-attempted-robbery-fail-cprog-orig-jc.cnn	dorian	10	1397	12:38 PM Jul 15, 2023 by Possum3
	Strange SMS (Preview) I received a funny (weird) and funny (haha) SMS last night. ON have a plan to both lower and reduce the cost of living. "One Nation's candidate, Sandy Roach, has been working hard for you, Bernard. We have a plan to lower the cost of living, hold criminals to account and reduce the cost of living....	dorian	0	599	05:49 AM Jul 15, 2023 by dorian
	Measure once (Preview)	anolphart	0	649	06:22 PM Jul 14, 2023 by anolphart
	Stormtrooper (Preview)	anolphart	0	502	06:20 PM Jul 14, 2023 by anolphart
	Drinking (Preview)	anolphart	0	514	06:19 PM Jul 14, 2023 by anolphart
	Roll Call (Preview)	rgren2	1	900	02:29 PM Jul 14, 2023 by Craig1
	Sitting in a bar... (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	654	12:12 PM Jul 14, 2023 by aussie_paul
	More money.. (Preview)	aussie_paul	0	624	12:10 PM Jul 14, 2023 by aussie_paul
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