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Duck, flu and Obama and Eclesiastic jokes
(Preview)
Donald Duck goes on a dirty weekend but forgets his condoms. He calls down to reception, asks for a pack of three. Reception asks shall I put them on your bill? Donald replies, "Don't be bloody stupid, I'll suffocate".... It was once said a black man would be president when pigs fl...
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Basil Faulty
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2
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1137
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Old Dogs!!!
(Preview)
One day the old German shepherd starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old German shepherd thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!" Noticing som...
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Pickles
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1
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1073
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H ORSE RIDING BLONDE STYLE
(Preview)
A blonde decides to try horeback riding, even thou she has had no experience. She mounts the horse unasisted and the horse immediatly springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace,but the blonde starts to slide from the saddle. In terror, she grabs the horses mane, but cannot s...
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drongo & wendy
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3
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971
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Dyslexics untie
(Preview)
Did you hear about the dyslexic, insomniac athiest? He stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a dog
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Basil Faulty
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0
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979
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another dog joke...
(Preview)
Dog walks into the post office at Karumba and wants to send a telegram, grabs a form & writes woof. woof. woof. woof. woof. woof. woof. woof. woof. & hands it to the clerk who looks at it and helpfully suggests that there are 9 woof's and for the same price he can put in an extra woof. The dog respon...
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Basil Faulty
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0
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778
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Airplane maintenance
(Preview)
Airplane maintenance "Squawks" are problem listings that pilots generally leave for maintenance crews to fix before the next flight. Here are some squawks submitted by US Air Force pilots and the replies from the maintenance crews. (P) = Problem (S) = Solution (P) Left inside main tire...
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Pickles
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0
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929
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he's in trouble this time
(Preview)
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian war party. The Indian Chief proclaims, "So, you are the great Lone Ranger. In honor of the Harvest Festival, you will be executed in three days. But, before I kill you, I will grant you three requests. What is your first request?" T...
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dave06
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1
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842
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WHO DOES WHAT
(Preview)
A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your jo...
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Pickles
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0
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850
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Mid Life Cleared up
(Preview)
Mid-Life Crisis After being married for 44 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, 'Honey, 44 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV; but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old gal. Now I have a $500,00...
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Cruising Granny
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2
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1202
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WIFE VS. HUSBAND
(Preview)
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife repli...
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Pickles
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3
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1126
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Aussie Style Friendship
(Preview)
True Friendship "Aussie Style"None of that SissyCrap .. Are you tired of those piss weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cute little smiley fa...
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Wombat 280
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2
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1153
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yes I know but I got to put up with him
(Preview)
A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat. A wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up...
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dave06
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0
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951
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another one kemosabe
(Preview)
The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the plains one day, when Tonto suddenly ****ed his ear at a passing falcoln's cry. "Kemosabe... Apache to East!" he whispered. The Lone Ranger looked to his faithful companion. "What do we do?" Tonto pondered a moment. "We rid...
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dave06
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0
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838
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a pea****s offspring
(Preview)
a man took his 84 year old father shopping for new shoes, whilst sitting on a bench waiting to be served he spied his father staring at a young feller who had multi colored spiked hair everytime the young feller turned around he seen the old man staring at him eventually he asked the old man "what w...
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dave06
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3
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1081
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THE ORIGINAL COMPUTER
(Preview)
Memory was something you lost with age An aplication was for emploment A program was a tv show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano A web was a spiders home A CD was a bank account A hard drive was was a long trip on the road A mouse pad was where a mouse li...
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drongo & wendy
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4
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1023
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the flea
(Preview)
a flea was feeling tottally worn out and needed a holiday, he went in to a travel department to see about a week out in the sun the tourism officer said to him "we have just the thing, a week in ringo starr's hair, it'll be great, south of france and in a celebritys hair" flea "I'll take it&...
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dave06
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1
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1153
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Pay for what you want to hear
(Preview)
I love this Doctor Q:Doctor,I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true? ! A:Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.... don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like sayin...
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Wombat 280
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1
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966
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10 SPEED BIKE
(Preview)
For his 12 birthday, little Joseph wanted a 10 speed bike. His father said, Son if we could afford it we would by u a new bike but your Mother has just lost her job and we have a $28000 morgage that we are struggling with. Next morning he seen young Joseph case in hand about to head out the front door, so h...
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drongo & wendy
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0
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1089
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The Devil Made Me Do It
(Preview)
A novice is driving Mother Superior down the road after Sunday Mass Suddenly the devil jumps on the bonnet of the car and starts cursing the two occupants Mother Superior said to the Novice, wind down your window and show him your cross Novice winds down her window and Yells at the Devil Get To "...
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Wombat 280
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0
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959
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ROSES AND HANGING BASKETS
(Preview)
Subject: FW: ROSES & HANGING BASKETS ROSES & HANGING BASKETS A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date with this see-through blouse on and no bra. Her grandmother just pitched a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that! The teenager tells her 'Loosen up Grams. These are mod...
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sgntbilko
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1
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1024
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