Just Joking

Firefly · Firefly

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. 'From now on when I say BELL 1 I want you to strip naked. Wh...

Firefly · Firefly

AAADD KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ! Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!! Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose i...

Firefly · Firefly

A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remo...

Dragonfly · Dragonfly

Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there forabout five minutes.When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said,'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'He ignored us and continued writing the ticket...

Ma · Ma

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he dr...

Mike47 · Mike47

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, 'How's the singing career going?' Stevie replies, 'Not too bad. How's the golf?' Woods replies, 'Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right, now.' Stevie says, 'I always find that when my s...

Ma · Ma

Did You Know This About Leather Dresses? Did you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally??? Ever wonder why? It's because she smells like a new Ute!

Ma · Ma

A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there ...

Firefly · Firefly

Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking. Arlene: What in the hell is that? Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet. Arlene: Where did you ge...

Cinnamon · Cinnamon

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. What do you mean? said the pirate, I feel fine. Bartender, What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before. Pirate, Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'...

Ma · Ma

An older,white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told thejeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000. ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something...

Firefly · Firefly

A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?'The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve,they had children, and so all mankind was made.'Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the humanrac...

Ma · Ma

A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in thebedroom, with hundre...

dave06 · dave06

prince charles was on tour in the remote regions of australia, upon arrival at Kalgoorlie he was inquired upon by the local mayor of his animal skin head wear his reply was "I said to Mummsy that we would be dropping in on Kalgoorlie, and she replied OHHhh!!! wear the fox hat!!"

jimricho · jimricho

A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to w...

Ma · Ma

To make it stand, You wet it !To make it wet, You suck it !To make it stiff, You lick it !To get it in, You push it! Darn !!!!!!! Threading a needle when you're older is a BITCH!

hammer · hammer

WARNING : ONLY Read This Once You Are Able To LAUGH OUT LOUD. Hysterics might set in. The writer of this piece paints a very vivid picture... funny stuff. You will laugh - guaranteed! ENJOY!! I went to Bunnings recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the pre...

Firefly · Firefly

A fellow walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 notes. He guesses there must be more than ten thousand pounds in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, 'What's with the money in the jar?' 'Well... you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, yo...

Firefly · Firefly

A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?' The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, 'I don't care what you think. I ju...

dave06 · dave06

One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to take a wee. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do." So Tont...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Fireman (Preview) A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, 'You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. *'From now on when I say BELL 1* *I want you to strip naked. Wh...*	Firefly	1	959	05:01 PM Sep 7, 2009 by drongo & wendy
	AAADD (Preview) AAADD KNOW THE SYMPTOMS.....PLEASE READ! *Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder. Somehow I feel better,even though I have it!!* Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. - Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests: I decide to water my garden. As I turn on the hose i...	Firefly	0	877	10:06 PM Sep 3, 2009 by Firefly
	A Real Australian Outback Story (Preview) A Drover walks into a bar with a pet crocodile by his side. He puts the crocodile up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this crocodile's mouth and place my manhood inside. Then the croc will close his mouth for one minute. 'Then he'll open his mouth and I'll remo...	Firefly	1	872	10:18 PM Sep 2, 2009 by Pam
	Retired People (Preview) Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there forabout five minutes.When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said,'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?'He ignored us and continued writing the ticket...	Dragonfly	0	863	06:29 PM Sep 2, 2009 by Dragonfly
	CAP YA GIVE ME A PUSH (Preview) A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's 3:30 in the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife. So he dr...	Ma	1	1150	11:09 AM Sep 1, 2009 by Wombat 280
	Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods (Preview) Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, 'How's the singing career going?' Stevie replies, 'Not too bad. How's the golf?' Woods replies, 'Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right, now.' Stevie says, 'I always find that when my s...	Mike47	0	645	01:14 AM Sep 1, 2009 by Mike47
	LEATHER DRESSES (Preview) Did You Know This About Leather Dresses? Did you know that when a woman wears a leather dress, a man's heart beats quicker, his throat gets dry, he gets weak in the knees, and he begins to think irrationally??? Ever wonder why? It's because she smells like a new Ute!	Ma	0	780	11:41 AM Aug 31, 2009 by Ma
	TWO GARBAGE BAGS (Preview) A little old lady is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk. Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, 'Ma'am, there ...	Ma	1	854	07:56 PM Aug 28, 2009 by Pam
	Jane and Arlene (Preview) *Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.* *Arlene: What in the hell is that?* *Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.* *Arlene: Where did you ge...*	Firefly	0	788	08:41 AM Aug 28, 2009 by Firefly
	the pirate (Preview) A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible. What do you mean? said the pirate, I feel fine. Bartender, What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before. Pirate, Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'...	Cinnamon	0	652	08:08 PM Aug 26, 2009 by Cinnamon
	LET ME TELL YOU (Preview) An older,white-haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told thejeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000. ring. The old man said, 'No, I'd like to see something...	Ma	0	831	07:38 PM Aug 24, 2009 by Ma
	Where Did We Come From (Preview) A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?'The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve,they had children, and so all mankind was made.'Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the humanrac...	Firefly	0	788	05:46 PM Aug 23, 2009 by Firefly
	The Sensitive Man (Preview) A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in thebedroom, with hundre...	Ma	0	603	09:37 AM Aug 22, 2009 by Ma
	prince charles on tour (Preview) prince charles was on tour in the remote regions of australia, upon arrival at Kalgoorlie he was inquired upon by the local mayor of his animal skin head wear his reply was "I said to Mummsy that we would be dropping in on Kalgoorlie, and she replied OHHhh!!! wear the fox hat!!"	dave06	2	923	08:20 PM Aug 21, 2009 by Pam
	Kiwi on a desert island (Preview) A New Zealander was washed up on a beach after a terrible shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. Looking around, he realised they were stranded on a deserted island. After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to w...	jimricho	0	1016	08:12 PM Aug 21, 2009 by jimricho
	Warning "Adult" content.....LOL (Preview) To make it stand, You wet it !To make it wet, You suck it !To make it stiff, You lick it !To get it in, You push it! Darn !!!!!!! Threading a needle when you're older is a BITCH!	Ma	0	1184	08:43 PM Aug 20, 2009 by Ma
	chilli (Preview) WARNING : ONLY Read This Once You Are Able To LAUGH OUT LOUD. Hysterics might set in. The writer of this piece paints a very vivid picture... funny stuff. You will laugh - guaranteed! ENJOY!! I went to Bunnings recently while not being altogether sure that course of action was a wise one. You see, the pre...	hammer	0	1163	06:57 PM Aug 20, 2009 by hammer
	Moral Of The Story (Preview) A fellow walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it's filled to the brim with $10 notes. He guesses there must be more than ten thousand pounds in it. He approaches the bartender and asks, 'What's with the money in the jar?' 'Well... you pay $10 and if you pass three tests, yo...	Firefly	0	1068	05:12 PM Aug 20, 2009 by Firefly
	Jump For Health (Preview) A woman in her thirties is at home happily jumping unclothed, on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and asks, 'Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?' The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, 'I don't care what you think. I ju...	Firefly	0	845	05:07 PM Aug 20, 2009 by Firefly
	not this time ranger!!! (Preview) One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger had to take a wee. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, "Tonto I've been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do." So Tont...	dave06	0	860	02:00 PM Aug 20, 2009 by dave06
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